Mycatsnuggles Posted May 20, 2014 Posted May 20, 2014 Your affair is over, you are moving ahead with you life. Recommitting to you marriage and family. You quit the affair of your own accord and are happy it is over. You feel tremendous quilt at times but those wash through and your happy with your spouse. They never found out, strong suspicions only. Can you live with the guilt? My hypothetical question. Anyone experienced this. Hidden the secret for 5 plus years, without disclosure. This is aimed at WS who have not disclosed and have no intention to. We already know generally all BS feel this is wrong and want to be told. But if the WS felt they could keep it secret, take the chance of their past coming out. Do you think you could take the secret affair to your grave. What effect has it had on th marriage Do you think of your other at all good/bad Do you want to tell or content to move forward Has the secret stifled your marriage Hoping people who have actual experienced will reply thanks.
Author Mycatsnuggles Posted May 20, 2014 Author Posted May 20, 2014 Can you move this back to the other women thread. This is specifically targeted to people who are in affairs. Not for dating relationships. If you can't move delete it's redundant and no answers from singles about holding the secrets are way off topic of a married person withholding their affair from their spouse. Thanks
Snipercatt Posted May 20, 2014 Posted May 20, 2014 Mycatsnuggles, my response is meant respectfully. The OW/OM forum is for people in R with someone in a committed R. My initial reaction to your OP was that it belonged in the Marriage - Infidelity forum. My second reaction was that your OP might offend OW/OM as it focuses on the marriage and OW/OM have it tough enough, as it is. Just my opinion. 1
dichotomy Posted May 20, 2014 Posted May 20, 2014 Can you move this back to the other women thread. This is specifically targeted to people who are in affairs. Not for dating relationships. If you can't move delete it's redundant and no answers from singles about holding the secrets are way off topic of a married person withholding their affair from their spouse. Thanks I have learned the hard way that "hypotheticals" or general research questions end up here in this section - unless you yourself are a OM/OW, or BS/WS and asking as it relates to your specific situation and those specific sections you fall under. I get your point for wanting where it will hit the best audience, but not the way the rules are here on LS.
TwoTowns Posted May 20, 2014 Posted May 20, 2014 Your affair is over, you are moving ahead with you life. Recommitting to you marriage and family. You quit the affair of your own accord and are happy it is over. You feel tremendous quilt at times but those wash through and your happy with your spouse. They never found out, strong suspicions only. Can you live with the guilt? My hypothetical question. Anyone experienced this. Hidden the secret for 5 plus years, without disclosure. This is aimed at WS who have not disclosed and have no intention to. We already know generally all BS feel this is wrong and want to be told. But if the WS felt they could keep it secret, take the chance of their past coming out. Do you think you could take the secret affair to your grave. What effect has it had on th marriage Do you think of your other at all good/bad Do you want to tell or content to move forward Has the secret stifled your marriage Hoping people who have actual experienced will reply thanks. I am a separated OW - twice involved (1990-92 and 2012-14) with the same man. He disclosed his affair to his then-wife in 1992 and was going to leave her for me, but changed his mind and stayed married until she left him in 2012. During our current affair, he has kept me a secret from his girlfriend. He ended our affair abruptly last week (feared a dday), and has no intentions of resuming it or telling his girlfriend about it. I know he felt tons of guilt during both affairs. I don't think he has as hard a time with keeping an ended affair secret. He's just probably relieved it ended before he got caught. If, as he says, he still loves me and wants me, I imagine that might have some minor impact on his mood once in awhile. Our affair ended in the middle of a passionate, long-awaited visit. I know he doesn't have the chemistry with his girlfriend that he has with me. At some point, after the relief wears off, he will be able to keep his secret - but he will also keep missing me. Just not enough to give up what really matters to him. :-/
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