Brauhm Posted May 20, 2014 Posted May 20, 2014 Hey guys, so roughly a month ago my girlfriend broke up with me cause we had a fight,(i honestly thought fights are normal things and that we could of taalked things out and make things work). Within the first week of the break up, i think 4 or 5 days after the break up, i go over to her place wanting to talk to her to see if we can work things out. As i drove into her street i see another guys car in her driveway. (lets name the guy x). After i knocked on the door i asked her if we could talk but she said she didnt want to and so i just asked her so your just home alone with this guy now ?, after seeing this guy i got so aggressive. She started to yell at me telling me to get out of her place. So i got out of her place and then she called her sister and i talked to her sister over the phone for awhile. As i ended the phone call with her sister, the sister told me sometimes ppl just fall out of love the next day just like that... after another rough week or so, of me messaging her and calling her, i parked my car at the end of her street to catch a bus to the city as she lives close to a frequent bus stop, I see x's car at the end of her street aswell.. after another day or so she finally blocked me on whatsapp and so then i decided to cut everyone off. At this point my best friend has been really good friends with x and does everything with him all of a sudden... after a week of not seeing my ex or messaging or calling her, i see her walking to my direction in a hallway. I quickly turn to the right to go down another walk way when i bumped into an old friend of mine ( a girl) and me and her walk in a different direction. After 15mins of that, my ex sends me a snapchat of just her hot chocolate ( a casual snapchat that i assume she sent to everyone.) I found it quite odd that she sent it to me all of a sudden. later that week on my way to the car from work ( we work in the same mall ) i saw her walking into my direction, as i walked into the other side of the walk way she purposely walks into me and asked me to join her for lunch. So i accepted the offer and had lunch with her, while having lunch i asked her if you dont mind can i know what that guy was doing at your place. She replied with ohh he was just showing me his car.. and i asked her how when his car was at the end of her driveway. she said we just talked after.... After talking more as i walked her back to her workplace, i asked her so do you think we can work things out between us ?, she replied with umm maybe after exams and she entered her store i asked her when does your exams finish ? and she just turns around and smiles and says I dont know and walks away.... I really do want to work things out between me and her. She was the type of girl that when i woke up i'd go over early so that i can sleep in with her and having breakfast with her aswell. i really do still love that girl to bits.. whenever i saw her within the first two weeks of the break up i still kept asking her, hey have you taken your medicine for your knees? and how are you feeling and how is your mum... I realised that her exams finish at the end of this month ( end of next week ), after talking to a friend she told me to expect the worst possible outcome.. at the current time the worst outcome is my ex telling me that she's now in a relationship with x now. anyways any advice ? i really dont know what to do... i cant even concentrate on studying for exams as well... all advice is appreciated.. 1
J2911 Posted May 20, 2014 Posted May 20, 2014 Hey Sir, Listen , run away , don't contact her at all and block her from every way possible. If she directly approaches you then casually say " I've moved on , I needed more than game playing " then walk away. She is playing you. Doesn't want you , doesn't want you with another. This is my opinion on this . If you continue this back and forth with her then you will get so burned . Good luck friend 2
Author Brauhm Posted May 20, 2014 Author Posted May 20, 2014 Thanks man for your reply, the thing is I was with her for a year and throughout that year we just spent every day with each other going out with friends, watching movies, studying for exams and so on.... after the first week of the break up, we had planned a trip to the beach together before we broke up so we all went. ( my best friend, his gf's family, my ex, myself and the other guy x who is my best friends gf's brother.) On that trip my best friend goes up to that guy x and tells him that he doesnt mind if he dates my ex... after that I barely talk to anyone from that group.. and unfortunately i was so stupid that when i started uni i thought wow with great friends like this ( my ex and best friend) i really dont need anyone else.. and so now the last few weeks i've been just at home, work ( which is like 2- 3 times a week) and whenever im at uni i just bump into old high school friends who have their own little group. Even today i really wanted to go NC with her, but i knew she had an exam at 8 am i got up at 7 and fb messaged her saying good luck for your exam... so response nothing.. i think she just looks at my message preview since it was a short message and doesnt bother replying... I normally study at home but today i made it a point to study at uni to have a chance to bump into her after her exam. I sat near where she normally studies. I sat there and studied for 12hrs straight... from 8:45am to 8:50pm... nothing.. even when i try to contact my best friend asking if he wants to go to the gym, he just replys back with oh sorry man just wennt to the gym with guy x... ffs what do i do... ? literally everyone who i thought would be there for me if anything was to go wrong are the ones who just disappear on me.. i really dont know why my ex is being like this... we had so many good memories... days when she was just feeling down and missing home ( she's an international student from thailand ) i would just randomly buy her a gift like jewelry or take her out to eat at a thai restaurant... there are days when she's sick.. i'd come over and take care of her.. making her breakfast and lunch and make sure she has taken medicines.. i even purposely bought a car so that we wouldnt have to bus every and so that i can drive her around.. there was a time when she asked me to print something for her, and so i dropped her home and went to an electronics store and bought her a new printer.. when she did dance for a production. for the training i would always pick her up every day after practice and go get something to eat and then drop her home.. wow... just wow.. how people just change just like that.. i used to walk into her boss and she would be like, "haha she comes up to me today and says wow i really love that guy soo much". its just those days.. I still have the small photo frame she gave me when she went back home for holidays... i skyped with her everyday.. i still have the wallet she gave me... the small photos of herself she gave me all in my wallet still to this day... fuarrrrrk,.................. why does it have to be so hard... 1
Chi townD Posted May 20, 2014 Posted May 20, 2014 Why was she doing all of that? Because she wanted to pull on the leash and see if the dog was still there. To see if she still had some power over you. She pulled on the leash and realized the dog was gone. She went looking for the dog. Snapchat didn't get a response out of you, so she tracked you down. Asked you to lunch and the dog readily jumped up for a treat. She was happy to realize that she still had power over you. You walked her back to work, you asked her if you could work things out, she gives you a "maybe" Well, that isn't a yes. That puts you on the hook and in limbo. Still waiting on the sidelines while she's still playing the field. How is that fair to you? The only thing that luncheon did was to put the dog back on the leash. Oh, and X being at her house all alone so he can show her his car? Give me a break! Please tell me you don't believe that crap! Let me guess, when you went to the door and she opened it, her eye's probably went wide, her heart stopped and her ass slammed shut! She probably had this "OH SH*T!" look on her face. Dude, she was getting to know X and not his car. Dude, time to take back your power! 2
Zahara Posted May 20, 2014 Posted May 20, 2014 Look, this girl treats you like a doormat. Stop chasing after her. Yes, you loved each other at one point but that's changed now. You're trying to recapture the past. It's over, done. It happens. And chances are, she was long detaching before all this happened. She just ended when she was ready -- hence break-up over a fight. It was her out. She's got another guy in her home. She doesn't care that it hurts you. She picks you up like a rag doll when she's bored and wants your attention. She emotionally manipulates you when you ask her if she wants to get back. Please stop. You sound young and if you start allowing women to crap on you while you beg for more, you're setting the stage for further issues in your life. 2
Author Brauhm Posted May 21, 2014 Author Posted May 21, 2014 Thats for the replies back guys. Damn i've got two exams today... and still have got her in my mind.. @Chi, I do understand what you mean by she's playing the field at the moment, but some part of me just still feels like maybe after all this wait and pain, maybe just maybe she may give it another chance.. maybe all she needed was just space for awhile.. she always was there for me even when my best friend wasnt.. idk.... @Zahara, as of a few days ago besides the one message yesterday saying good luck for your exam i've gone NC and i honestly am just waiting for her to talk after exams, at the moment i've just prepared myself for the worst possible outcome which would be her sitting down and telling me, she's now in a relationship with guy x, if thats the case i'll just return all the photos she's given me and just leave.. its so hard thou... there are days when i just miss her so much i just do a drive by her place ( its like a min from uni) just to see if that guy X is over.. Wow i really have no idea how everyone goes through this... i really do look up to you guys you've gone through alot but still move on with your head up high.. Thanks for the supportive advise so far guys Even thou i havent hung out with any friends or people for the last month nearly, after visiting this site, i really do feel the supportive nature of everyone here.. and it really does help. 1
Zahara Posted May 21, 2014 Posted May 21, 2014 and i honestly am just waiting for her to talk after exams, at the moment i've just prepared myself for the worst possible outcome which would be her sitting down and telling me, she's now in a relationship with guy x, if thats the case i'll just return all the photos she's given me and just leave) The thing is she broke up with you. All this is irrelevant. And her callous we'll talk after exams is her just manipulating your feelings. What has changed in a month in terms of how she feels about you -- she's even hanging out with another guy. 1
bubbaganoosh Posted May 21, 2014 Posted May 21, 2014 @Chi, I do understand what you mean by she's playing the field at the moment, No friend. She's playing you at the moment. She's keeping you in line because she doesn't know how far things will go with Racer X, so she's keeping her options open and if things doesn't work out with the other guy, then she'll pull the strings on you and have you dance back to her. Best advice I or anyone else here can give you is to stop all contact with her. No replies from Face book, texts, or phone calls. Nothing but empty air. Once she sees that she lost control then the balls back in your court but with that, you have to ask yourself if she's worth the risk because she's got together with this guy pretty damn fast and it tells me that she had him in the bull pen warming up before she broke up with you, so are you willing to get kicked in the shins again? Stop being the nice guy. You see where it's getting you. 2
Author Brauhm Posted May 21, 2014 Author Posted May 21, 2014 Bubba, thank you. It does make sense, 2 weeks or so before she broke up with me I noticed her whatsapping guy x, I asked her about it and she just replied with oh he's just worried about his younger sister since your best friend is hitting on her. After reading other threads I realised I should focus that time and effort on myself. Especially after reading a letter to all breakees, I should focus on myself now, for the past year or so it was always about making her happy, satisfying all her needs. I racked up a credit card debit of nearly $800 cause of her... finally after 3 weeks of pay I paid it all off. Wow thank you guys, I know that I still do have a far way to go before I am over her... hmm.. I recently just talked to another friend and he was telling me, it's always the one who cares the most, the one who loves the other more will always end up getting hurt the most. He then just put his hand on my shoulder and said that's why you always make sure you are not the one who doesnt care the most. I find that a little stupid but is that true ?
Author Brauhm Posted May 21, 2014 Author Posted May 21, 2014 Damn after my exams today I felt so sht cause I don't think I did aswell as think I could of. Normally when I feel like that I give my ex a call and meet up with her and spend time with her... but today I just didn't know what yo do.. I was very close to giving her a call.. but instead I ended up smoking 3-5 cigarettes.. Just recently in the last few days I have started to smoke, I dont know everytime I do I just focus on breathing and completely forget everything else... After I finished smoking I had no urge to call her anymore... but I was wondering does anyone else have something they do when they feel the urge to break NC ? I really don't want to get in the habit of smoking as i dont want to damage my health but at the its the only thing that just eliminates the urge....
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