Haydaman712 Posted May 20, 2014 Posted May 20, 2014 (edited) So I screwed up with a girl by being too needy back in December. I got ignored, so I left her alone. 4 months later. It was finals week. And it's been 4 months since I've talked to her. On Monday I figured what the hell, I'll ask her to grab a drink and catch up. She said she was busy, and she would let me know. I took it as 100% rejection. That Thursday I got ready to party. I was looking good, and feeling good. While bar hopping I heard someone call my name. "Ryan! Hey! Did you see my sister earlier today when she was running?" Her sister was visiting from home, and they look so much alike I thought it was her. I literally was taken by surprise. She hadn't texted me saying she was free. But she sees me in person after I see her sister and she's all over me? We talked for two minutes, then I told her to have fun with her friends tonight. She was surprised. She rubbed my hand and I walked away. Even though I know she wanted to see me after our run in, I had already made plans. I was exhilarated. At the last bar of the night, I'm pretty sure I could've gotten any girl. I was confident, smiling, and getting hit on. Then she came in. She saw me and immediately came over and grabbed my butt then ran away. I just smiled. No matter where I went, she was never more than 20 feet away. I would pull her in, short touching, and then roll out. Then as I was coming out of the bathroom. I heard a "hey" and a girl grabbed my hand. I honestly couldn't see who it was so I just yanked it back like a jerk. It was her...she was so surprised, and I just rejected her in front of a ton of people. But I didn't go back. She ended up pulling aside a guy she sorta new right in front of me later that night. We went our separate ways. Even though I wanted to talk to her and be flirty badly, I wanted to see my friends and other girls who hadn't made me an option until the last minute. I wasn't trying to punish her, but springing yourself on me when it's convenient only for you won't work for me. I felt bad the next day. So I texted her. I told her it was great to see her and that I still wanted to grab a drink. I told her that she said that she was busy, never texted me back...so I made other plans and left her alone. Then I apologized for ripping her hand away from her in front of everyone. I reacted. I asked her to let me know if she was free that upcoming Saturday, and if so we should get together. It's been a little over a week now since I blew her off, and she's ignoring me again. I really don't know what to do at this point. I was a challenge for her that night, but also a dick. And I apologized because I embarrassed her. And now we're 2 hours away from each other instead of 2 minutes. Should I remain persistent? Give up? I need your help guys. Edited May 20, 2014 by Haydaman712
Grumpybutfun Posted May 20, 2014 Posted May 20, 2014 Answer you don't want to hear...she is just not that into you. She was probably intrigued by you giving her the cold shoulder because she is a people pleaser and wants the same amount of worship you gave before because it fed her ego. You pulling away was a good move, but you should have made that the end of it and moved on to someone who really likes you for you and doesn't need you to play games to get their interest. When you write her apologizing for the previous evening, you gave her back the worship she needed and fed her ego. This is Psych 101, people pleasers and emotional vampires feed off others for their worth so since you valued her again, she got what she wanted and didn't need anything further from you. A girl who likes you will not be this hard. You can't scare them away with leprosy. She just didn't like you like you liked her. Time to move on for good, be pleasant but do not cut NC because you are just an ego boost for this girl. Good luck, Grumps
Author Haydaman712 Posted May 20, 2014 Author Posted May 20, 2014 Appreciate the response Grump. Anyone else have any other views on my situation?
ExpatInItaly Posted May 20, 2014 Posted May 20, 2014 Appreciate the response Grump. Anyone else have any other views on my situation? I have to agree with the other poster. I think she likes having her ego stroked, but isn't seriously interested. He's right - a girl that likes you wouldn't be so difficult to see (and I'm speaking as a girl myself here!) I would cut my losses and continue to meet other girls. The right one won't leave you guessing!
Million.to.1 Posted May 20, 2014 Posted May 20, 2014 By sending her a long winded "sorry' txt, you blew it. This girl is only playing with you for the ego boost. She knows you are interested, so no challenge, no thrill. She thought you'd move on and used the opportunity of seeing you to "see if she still had it" and she did, cause now you are thinking about her, txting her,, wanting to meet up.... Forget this... move on with a girl who actually likes you.
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