Johnny G Posted May 19, 2014 Posted May 19, 2014 (edited) My girlfriend and I have been dating for about two years. We started dating right before college started, and were best friends before that. It took her a long time to make sure that she wanted to date through college, but finally she said she was ready. We are a few hours apart and see each other about once a month, or twice if we're lucky. We both live in the same home town, so we see each other over summer. She was acting kinda stand offish for about three weeks before I came home. We had a talk about what we would do once one of us leaves for a summer for an internship, and what I don't get a job where she goes to grad school. I told her that there is nothing we can do about those things and to just take care of them as they come. Well once I got back home she came home to break up with me. She said that she didn't feel the same way that she always has for me, and that it hadn't been the same for a while. I was heartbroken, because I always thought no matter what we would work through it. Its three days after and I told her today that we shouldn't talk until she gets home from school, which is in a month. I think that if I give her space she will want to come back to me, but I'm not sure. We were no doubt in love, and she said she still loves me but its just not the same anymore. I would love any advice I can get on how to deal with the awful feeling I have, and on what to do with her, if she does contact me or not. I would do anything to have her back, but at the same time I don't want to force anything. There is no doubt in my mind that with time spent together we can have what we once did. Edited May 19, 2014 by Johnny G
PhillyConnection23 Posted May 19, 2014 Posted May 19, 2014 Fellow LDR dumpee here as well. Like you I also thought we would be able to deal with future problems when they came up, I was confident we would be able to do that. Like your ex, my ex wasn't so confident. Anyway the best thing for you to do is leave her be and give her the distance. She probably doesn't fully understand what she wants either and having you around at her whim is only going to muddle those thoughts more. 1
Luua Posted May 19, 2014 Posted May 19, 2014 Same here. Keep the No Contact. If it has to be, it will be. I know you'll hate to hear this, but it's the only way to heal and feel better about yourself. I got dumped nearly 3 months ago and I thought I would die. I woke up every day with anxiety, feeling this huge void, thinking that I'd never be able to love again and move on with my life and all these destructive thoughts. Time goes by and the distance really helps you to identify which were the problems of the relationship and (most probably) helps you see that it was for the best, at least for now. Focus on yourself and try to accept the breakup instead of staying in denial (it's the worst thing because it doesn't let you move on). And keep the No contact. I never answered to any of the breadcrumbs my ex threw me and I got so much better... I'm dating again, which is something that I thought it would never happen about a month ago. You'll think about her almost every day, but not in the post breakup way. It's good to see that things happen for a reason most of the time. It will get better, I promise. I loved my ex more than anything in this world and I'd have done the craziest things for that relationship, but now I see that I had almost forgotten that I existed too. And that's the most important thing. Focus on yourself and don't idealize! Be strong and hold on. IT GETS BETTER. I promise. 2
jbelle6 Posted May 20, 2014 Posted May 20, 2014 My girlfriend and I have been dating for about two years. We started dating right before college started, and were best friends before that. It took her a long time to make sure that she wanted to date through college, but finally she said she was ready. We are a few hours apart and see each other about once a month, or twice if we're lucky. We both live in the same home town, so we see each other over summer. She was acting kinda stand offish for about three weeks before I came home. We had a talk about what we would do once one of us leaves for a summer for an internship, and what I don't get a job where she goes to grad school. I told her that there is nothing we can do about those things and to just take care of them as they come. Well once I got back home she came home to break up with me. She said that she didn't feel the same way that she always has for me, and that it hadn't been the same for a while. I was heartbroken, because I always thought no matter what we would work through it. Its three days after and I told her today that we shouldn't talk until she gets home from school, which is in a month. I think that if I give her space she will want to come back to me, but I'm not sure. We were no doubt in love, and she said she still loves me but its just not the same anymore. I would love any advice I can get on how to deal with the awful feeling I have, and on what to do with her, if she does contact me or not. I would do anything to have her back, but at the same time I don't want to force anything. There is no doubt in my mind that with time spent together we can have what we once did. No contact would be best. I hate to say it but I find when feelings are changed like that there most likely isn't much point in trying. That's how I know my ex won't come back. When there is no fighting or anything but they just fall out of love then you have to accept it and move on. I'm sorry you are going through this. Good luck.
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