Just an ounce of justice...

[SycamoreCircle]

Just having a bit of a relapse today thinking about my ex. Yes, she is an immature, lying, cheating, narcissist who I should hope never contacts me again but I miss the person I was in love with...

 

You can read my story in the Break Up section.

 

I was such a loyal, committed boyfriend. I was so affectionate and loving. Maybe this isn't the best place to ask---since everyone here is obviously confused, burnt and/or hurting, but my question is to the women---is it tough to find a decent man to date? A man who will court you, commit to you, care about you, accept you, encourage you, and sacrifice for you?

 

Should I take pride in the knowledge that my ex is going to get steamrolled by a fair share of douchebags, like the guy she left me for?(Oh, I wish you could see his Instagram---lots of selfies with him posing in the mirror. Mind you he's a 45 year old man, 20 years her senior and took pics of her in his bed the day he banged her.)

 

Sorry---the mind wanders.

 

I just want justice...

[Frank2thepoint]

Oh you Brooklynites, so dramatic.

 

I'm not a woman, but to give you my opinion, you are focusing on the wrong thing here. You are looking for blood, and it will not sate your anger. What happened to you was unfair and unjust, but you should learn from your mistakes, and hopefully in the future you will be much more perceptive to identifying someone that isn't right for you.

 

What she does, who she does, is not your problem anymore. She is someone else's problem. You should be happy that you are no longer in the toxic relationship, you are free to work on yourself and move on to someone healthy.

 

The other problem is, just because you say you are a committed, caring man, does not mean you have boundaries. For example, I'm a caring and affectionate man when in a relationship. But I'm not a pushover, and I definitely have the ability to stand my ground. If things get really out of hand, I have no problem walking away from something toxic. This is something you should focus on now, since by nature you are a good guy, you need to be a little tough as well.

[SycamoreCircle]

Frank, I appreciate the advice. But understand that if I came to LoveShack with only healthy, mature, forward thinking thoughts, I probably wouldn't need to be at LoveShack. No. This is where all the stink will go.

 

But on your advice to be "tough"---I notice your brand quote about women being tigers. Do you really feel that way? Would you say that that is the prism with which you view women now? Not challenging you, just curious.

[Assasda]

Frank was really succinct in his post, but I have to add:

Why dont you take control over your own life.

She left you for a reason. Were you too accommodating, did you let her not respect you?.

 

You were the one enamored with her, so why bad mouth her now. Thats what you picked.

Basically, just take responsibility for everything that happened, and learn how to make it right next time, and don't blindly give all your love to someone that doesn't prove that they deserve it

[SycamoreCircle]

Oh boy...speak your honest feelings and look what happens.

 

The people on here finger pointing---read my thread, please. If you then wish to call me names, I will attempt to defend myself.

 

Anger is a very natural step in the grieving process. I'm sorry I'm not on here saying the healthiest, 7-grain, this-is-what-you-should-be-thinking thoughts.

 

Now, FALL BACK...

 

You like that, Frank? ;-)

[thedj10show]

OP...your ex is fortunate to be out of a relationship with a textbook passive/aggressive man. Seek some help

 

Okay, my question here is that if what he is saying is true about his ex, it does take a toll on you if you choose to stay. What should a healthy response? Yes, that choice was on him. But knowing that every time you try to take a stand, she just threatens to leave or blame him, and you want to make it work is awful. Then after it's over, she behaves like nothing is wrong and that it was all his fault and he deserved it. Of course he is going to feel like he should get even, or that he feels unfairly wronged. Emotionally abusive relationships take their toll on the abused, and your response is to victim blame? Nice!

 

OP, you are fortunate to not be involved with her anymore. These feelings will pass. The best you can do is channel your energies into more positive pursuits, like hobbies, friends, passions. As more time elapses, you won't feel the need for revenge.

[SycamoreCircle]

Well, I'm glad I made it into the textbook. I'd hate to be just in the Sunday funnies.

 

Eau Claire, you seem like a person who reserves judgment until you have gathered all the facts. LS is privileged to have you.

 

If someone wronged you, would having an ill thought towards them make you a PSYCHO!!!??? WORTHY OF BEING IMMEDIATELY SHUT DOWN??!! Get this lunatic away from women, NOW!!!

[gaius]

Well, I'm glad I made it into the textbook. I'd hate to be just in the Sunday funnies.

 

Eau Claire, you seem like a person who reserves judgment until you have gathered all the facts. LS is privileged to have you.

 

If someone wronged you, would having an ill thought towards them make you a PSYCHO!!!??? WORTHY OF BEING IMMEDIATELY SHUT DOWN??!! Get this lunatic away from women, NOW!!!

You're not going to get some kind of cosmic reward for bending over backward for a woman. Sacrificing for her. They don't even really like that. So I'm not sure how you think she wronged you by dumping you for behavior that turned her off.

[SycamoreCircle]

Respectfully, I'm withdrawing this thread as people are basing their responses on the morsel of information contained within this thread solely.

 

Thanks.

 

Peace...