lovesfool Posted May 19, 2014 Posted May 19, 2014 I was hoping I could get some advice. Some of my girlfriends want to go on vacation and I really want to go. I could really do with a break from work and to get my mind off things. The only problem is that where they are going, I've already been there before with my ex. We broke up a couple of months ago and so him and the holiday are still fresh in my memory. I don't want to go there and start feeling depressed, but I don't want my old relationship to have this power over me either. I though going might help me create new memories and overwrite the old ones I had with him, or is it best to just avoid all the places I've been to with my ex?
mammasita Posted May 19, 2014 Posted May 19, 2014 Completely depends on you and where you are emotionally. My deciding factor ultimately would be this -> How close are your friends? If they are really close friends then I would go - they can help you get through it if/when it gets tough. If they are just "good time party friends" then I would pass because they're not gonna care if you struggle.
amaysngrace Posted May 19, 2014 Posted May 19, 2014 Ask a random cute guy to be in a picture with you at an old familiar place and smile big and then post it on Facebook. That's what I would do. 1
jt27 Posted May 19, 2014 Posted May 19, 2014 I really want to go I think you answered you're own question. This is something I have been struggling with since my BU. I say go. Go have fun with your friends. Don't let your ex have that control over you to prevent you from living your life and having fun. Do this for you! Prove to yourself you don't need him to be happy. I guarantee afterwards you'll be glad you went and regret it if you didn't. 3
Author lovesfool Posted May 21, 2014 Author Posted May 21, 2014 I really want to go I think you answered you're own question. This is something I have been struggling with since my BU. I say go. Go have fun with your friends. Don't let your ex have that control over you to prevent you from living your life and having fun. Do this for you! Prove to yourself you don't need him to be happy. I guarantee afterwards you'll be glad you went and regret it if you didn't. I understand what you are saying, but I just worry that when I am over there I will start reminiscing of the times when we were there together, get depressed, and then not enjoy myself. Sometimes it happens closer to home, like when I go to a restaurant we used to go to regularly. How do you get over this problem when on vacation, as the whole city/location will remind me of him.
FortunateSon Posted May 21, 2014 Posted May 21, 2014 I recently had this issue a couple months back. I went on vacation and I am glad that I did. There were certain points where memories of my ex surfaced and I was even a bit sad that we would never be there together again, but it showed me I could make new happy memories there. I didn't need her to be there to be happy and enjoy myself. If anything I felt a bit bad for her...she was the one missing out, she would never be able to experience that place again with ME!! 2
d0nnivain Posted May 21, 2014 Posted May 21, 2014 It will be tough to make yourself go but you should. Once you are there & having fun, the memories of him won't be as painful.
revelations Posted May 21, 2014 Posted May 21, 2014 Do you have a girlfriend in that group that is close to you? If so I would explain briefly your apprehensions on going their and ask for help. Your friend may be able to better help you make new memories of the place. Even if not I would still suggest going and trying to keep busy with your friends. After all the best way to replace old painful memories is with new happy memories. 1
learning_slowly Posted May 22, 2014 Posted May 22, 2014 How big is the city? Surely there are new places to go? It's hard, but you have to try and take back control of your life. Would you not use soap because we used it together? Go and smile and force yourself to enjoy it. If you don't go, you are wasting your life, not theirs. Have a great time. 1
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