Barby Posted February 9, 2005 Posted February 9, 2005 I have a question.......but first a little background right quick.... I recently started talking to another guy online (I still talk to my young friend but he's so young, I think friendship is all that I want with him). Anyway this guy is 10 years my senior (34 I'm 24). He lives 2 hours away, he seems like an okay guy, I mean I like him....can't say if there is chemistry or not of course until we meet in person. We have only been talking 3 days and he's pushing, I mean pushing HARD for us to meet! I've seen him on cam, talked to him on the phone (because he kept pushing me to call and call) I'm a nice girl and don't like to be rude to people. Well through the conversations we've talked and I don't know...I'm interested in him but what bugs me is him pushing so hard for us to meet. We've both seen pics of the other, seen each other on cam...he looks harmless enough but.... What would you make of someone who is pushing SOOOOOOOOOOOOO HARD for you to meet so soon?
tattoomytoe Posted February 9, 2005 Posted February 9, 2005 men are more visually stimulated and just More Visual in general when it comes to things.
CurlyIam Posted February 9, 2005 Posted February 9, 2005 I just hate push overs. I think you should tell him that you have NO intention to see him in the near future and that his pushing you might make you run away. Which is the truth. Maybe he simply has a crush on you. Trust your instinct. If you don't like him, it would be even more difficult to get him off your back. I think you should not give in. I mean he's 34, he should know a few stuff about women by now... Take care, Curly
Hund1976 Posted February 9, 2005 Posted February 9, 2005 Nothing is going to happen through the computer screen so of course he'd want to meet you in person. He could be looking for some booty so keep that in mind if you meet up with him. Especially if he suggests an activity that would give you guys time to be alone and remove clothing.
Huntr777 Posted February 9, 2005 Posted February 9, 2005 Hey there, anybody who pushes to get together, or anything else for that matter, don't do it. The guy might be really nice, but if he's being pushy, that's usually just the start of the problems. My advice, tell him you're not interested, goodbye and good luck. I know it sounds really harsh and maybe even rude, but he's being rude to you pushing to meet before you're ready. Hunter
Author Barby Posted February 9, 2005 Author Posted February 9, 2005 Nothing is going to happen through the computer screen so of course he'd want to meet you in person. He could be looking for some booty so keep that in mind if you meet up with him. Especially if he suggests an activity that would give you guys time to be alone and remove clothing. Hahahaha! That AIN'T (even though this isn't a word) AIN'T gonna happen...Miz Barby isn't an "easy girl" I am talking to him now on AIM and he's seeming to "get it" finally...I told him if he expects to meet me anytime soon, he better get to stepping cuz it ain't gonna happen! I really did like him, do, but exactly....he obviously didn't seem to respect me for the fact that I'm not ready...so I guess he'll be "ignored" if he doesn't get it. Thanks for the responses...I wanted to make sure I wasn't over-reacting or over thinking things!
alphamale Posted February 9, 2005 Posted February 9, 2005 Originally posted by Barby What would you make of someone who is pushing SOOOOOOOOOOOOO HARD for you to meet so soon? it is a very large red flag.
Author Barby Posted February 9, 2005 Author Posted February 9, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale it is a very large red flag. Thanks! That's what I was afraid of, if he won't take "no" for an answer on me calling him, won't take "no" for an answer on me meeting him soon....it scares me on what else he may not take "no" for answer on.... I hate thinking of people that way! But I'm glad getting feedback on it, shows me I'm not just thinking negative!
CurlyIam Posted February 9, 2005 Posted February 9, 2005 Girl, you never protect yourself too much. So your instinct was right. As they say... "NNEEEEEEEEXXXXXXXXXXXXXTTTTTTTTTTTTTT !!!!!"
Vepo Posted February 9, 2005 Posted February 9, 2005 No one is ever "harmless" we are human after all and we can do anything when we put our minds to it. You should ask him to stop pushing as it's putting you off. Tell him you want to take it slowly, if he doesn't want too then he is only interested in one thing and thats to have sex then blow you away then move onto the next person.
Author Barby Posted February 9, 2005 Author Posted February 9, 2005 ----------------Quick Update-------------- I just talked to him again on AIM then on the phone (my choice to call him this time). He told me he totally respected me, and that he wanted me to understand why he seemed to be "pushy" (which he said is mere excitement). He said that since he came across my profile/pics that he has been wanting to talk to me. (History---he attempted to contact me through email about 4 different times. It was always bad timing so I never got back to him). He said that he was so excited that I finally emailed him back that he wanted to meet me so we could get comfortable with each other and see if pursuing a relationship would be something that we'd both be interested in. I can understand where he is coming from....I mean he's older, never been married, no kids, born and raised a few hours away from me in Chicago (well a suburb of Chicago)..and I feel he's a good guy......but at first I felt (well I didn't really "speak up" to him about my feelings, I wasn't very assertive) that he was being pushy but since I explained my reservations and my reasoning, he totally chilled! So I guess before "writing him off" I'm going to give him some time to show me how much of a good guy he is...but he intimidates me..he's "stable" (new for me) works installing hydraulics on airplanes and has for 11 years, he's hispanic, doesn't drink, doesn't smoke, is very close to his family, seems to be romantic, claims to love to "take care of his woman" (though I am NOT materialistic, I've never had a guy try and "buy" my affections and I don't want one to start now though) and is someone who I am totally not used to dealing with! (that sounds bad I know, I'm used to as$ clowns) I really thank all of you who responded...I'm so 'scared' of taking a chance with meeting someone online that I analyze EVERYTHING (which is good for safety of course). But sometimes I confuse my "instict" for over thinking! But none the less I'm still going to be very cautious!
Merin Posted February 10, 2005 Posted February 10, 2005 Doh! Sorry I'm late on this Barby.. Well I think you're being smart in taking it slow.. if it means that much to him, he won't mind waiting. Yeah I know exactly what you mean about being used to assclowns LOL but give it time.. and see where it goes. Imma want an update!
Author Barby Posted February 10, 2005 Author Posted February 10, 2005 I will definitely update! I know if I don't take at least a small chance, I'm locking myself out of a chance of happiness too....so slowly but surely I'm gonna try
Merin Posted February 10, 2005 Posted February 10, 2005 Originally posted by Barby I will definitely update! I know if I don't take at least a small chance, I'm locking myself out of a chance of happiness too....so slowly but surely I'm gonna try Yay for you! At least you've got the good sense to know whats okay for you and what isn't.. and I'm happy that your still willing to give someone a chance..
moimeme Posted February 10, 2005 Posted February 10, 2005 People will always make themselves sound wonderful. Whatever his excuses, keep an eye out for more of this pushy behaviour. If it comes back, your instincts were right. The ones who try to rush you, IMHO, do so so that they'll get you locked up (in marriage I mean) before you've known them long enough to find out their flaws. And those sorts are always terrific at coming up with great reasons for their pushiness along the lines of 'you're so wonderful I can't help myself'. Don't fall for it.
Naive Posted February 10, 2005 Posted February 10, 2005 If he is being too pushy maybe there is something fishy there!!!! Careful Barby!!!
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