Suzieee90 Posted May 19, 2014 Posted May 19, 2014 [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT][FONT=Calibri]My boyfriend and I have been together a little over six months. He liked me in high school but we never dated, and we went out a couple times prior to actually dating but I never liked him. He asked me out six months ago and we’ve been inseparable since. We are from a small town. A very small town. He told me a while back that if we weren’t together, he wouldn’t date anyone else from this town because most girls around here are skanky (its true). I am one of few that has morals and not been with everyone. He told me that if he ever lost his job or if something happened between us, he would probably move, because there would be nothing keeping him here. He just told me that a friend (an older friend, 50+ years old ) is wanting him to apply for a job where she works…which is about 1.5 hours away. I don’t want to give him an ultimatum or anything, but if he were to get a job there, we couldn’t be together. I have been in a long distance relationship before and it was HARD, very hard. Relationships can be hard enough without adding distance to the mix. So, as much as I love him and want to spend the rest of my life with him (he feels the same way, we have discussed it), I would want to part ways if he wanted this job. The first reason being I don’t like long distance. The second being (being that hes said before he would want a girl from the city if we weren’t together), I feel it would be almost inevitable him not meeting someone new there once he moved. I feel like a bad person for this but that’s the way it has to be. I haven’t told him yet. I just don’t think we could survive long distance at this point in our relationship. Some weeks as it is already, we only see each other a couple days a week. Add 1.5 hours between us and it would be seeing each other very little, if at all. Two questions…..1) is it wrong of him to want to take a job there? He would make more money but he is leaving me behind. 2)Is it wrong of me to say we have to part ways if he does take it? I just feel like itd be too hard if things were like that…him so far away [/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT]
WonderKid Posted May 19, 2014 Posted May 19, 2014 You guys could make it work. No you're not wrong. But why not move with him? You two are in love right? And paragraphs can be your best friend!
ayala Posted May 19, 2014 Posted May 19, 2014 Well, what's stopping you from going with him? Do you want to live where you already are forever? There's a whole world out there you could explore together. Are you afraid of the change? The challenge? He'd only be "leaving" you behind if you choose not to follow. What's keeping you there? Do you have your own aspirations to consider? What if you moved, would he follow? You also need to talk about it with him. Make a compromise. Figure out what you want for yourself and what you want from the relationship. You also need to see it from his perspective. It's not just about you. It's about the two of you. 1
WeirdChick Posted May 19, 2014 Posted May 19, 2014 I think you two need to talk about it. I would find it unfair if my partner would make he choose between job and love. Why cant you move with him? Since its only 1.5hr drive, you wont too far away from your family- or what are the reasons that you possibly cant go with him?
Author Suzieee90 Posted May 19, 2014 Author Posted May 19, 2014 Yes, there are reasons why I cannot move too. I don't believe in living with someone before marriage. I think its wrong. It may work for some, but not me. Also, I have my own job and school that I need to attend to....so have to stay here. We talked about it and he said they would have to pay him A LOT before he would consider it, but still. I want to have it planned out what I will do if it does happen
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