acetrade11 Posted May 19, 2014 Share Posted May 19, 2014 (edited) Ready for a relationship or in a bad relationship?? Lets Find. Lets examine your position. The Positon: when single consider yourself in a neutral position. which is very hopeful an promising position to be in. Studies have shown that couples who are happily married are the highest happest in rating, people who are in a disfunctional and poor marriages are fairly miserable and much less happy the single person, and the single person is in the neutral position with unclear direction but in a hopeful position (which is a great postion to be in). Here is what is happening in reality. Married Couple: The happily married couple is already where they need to be and they are happy. (to do list completed) Single Person: A single person who would like to find a great relationship is one step away from it with their to-do list (which is find a great relationship.)” Unhappy Couple: People in unhappy relationships, on the other hand, are three leaps away, with a to-do list of: 1) Go through a soul-crushing break-up. 2) Emotionally recover. 3) Find a great relationship.” Not as bad when your single and you look at it that way, right? Our Biology Is Doing Us No Favors → Human biology evolved a long time ago and doesn’t understand the concept of having a deep connection with a life partner for 50 years. When we start seeing someone and feel the slightest twinge of excitement, our biology gets into “okay let’s do this” mode and bombards us with chemicals designed to get us to mate (lust), fall in love (the Honeymoon Phase), and then commit for the long run (attachment). Our brains can usually override this process if the person is ugly and undesirable and we come back to our sences. For all those middle ground cases where the right move is probably to move on and find something better but you still find that person attractive we often succumb to the chemical roller coaster and end up getting engaged. This is the case with unhappy relationships they fall under the spell of the chemical rollacoaster and don't use their sences when entering a relationship. As a single person or person in a bad relationship now you understand you need to control these chemicals from taking over your descsions. Needy, Needy, Needy.... Everyone has needs, and everyone likes those needs to be met, but problems arise when the meeting of needs—she cooks for me, he’ll be a great father, she’ll make a great wife, he’s rich, she keeps me organized, he’s great in bed—becomes the main grounds for choosing someone as a life partner. Those listed things are all great perks, but that’s all they are—perks. And after a year of marriage, when the needs-driven person is now totally accustomed to having her needs met and it’s no longer exciting, there better be a lot more good parts of the relationship that the person is chosening or they are in for a dull ride. When choosing your partner don't pick them because of the perks. your choice has to satisfy your core. If you pick them for the perks it won't work. Take these parts of advice and use them. look out of my newest thread coming out tommorow called "acetrade11 number two" type that in the search box Edited May 19, 2014 by acetrade11 Link to post Share on other sites
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