clewless Posted May 19, 2014 Posted May 19, 2014 Hi everyone, I don't want to go into the details of how it happened, but my gf slept with her ex when he came to visit and now we (I?) have to deal with the consequences... I am just wondering how people forgive their gf/bf for cheating on them? I know we have (had?) something very special, but I just cannot get that horrible feeling of being betrayed out of me... I hate that it's become a part of our relationship (mostly for me - she still doesn't understand how much she hurt me and how much I lost - she still feels the same ay toward me, but I explain to her that something inside me died for her when she betrayed me and I am trying to get it back, but am having trouble finding it) Any advice on how people have forgiven (and forgotten?) would be greatly appreciated... Thanks
FortunateSon Posted May 19, 2014 Posted May 19, 2014 If she cannot understand how much it hurt you, I would cut your losses and move on to someone who can understand the pain it would cause and would not do that to you. 6
hoping2heal Posted May 19, 2014 Posted May 19, 2014 Why would you want to forgive her? I mean, forgiving her and moving on..ya I can understand. But, I'm with the other poster; she doesn't know why it would hurt you? Crepes almighty, this broad is more dense than Gramma Jan's fruit cake!! AKA..you're cruising for a bruising of the heart. 7
somedude81 Posted May 19, 2014 Posted May 19, 2014 What she did to you was absolutely horrible. Why do you want to forgive her? 5
Friskyone4u Posted May 19, 2014 Posted May 19, 2014 She screwed another guy and cannot understand why you can't just move on like nothing ever happened. One thing you can count on is that it will happen again. If you are smart you will find a new gf asap 5
mangetout Posted May 19, 2014 Posted May 19, 2014 First of all, your relationship will never be the same. You will have to accept that. You will not be able to forgive her if she is not remorseful. My ex cheated on me and was very remorseful and ashamed. But it still took me two years to forgive him. We are not together by the way but I have still forgiven him. Is she really sorry? If so then you have something to work on. If she isn't then start walking because you are dating a future serialcheater with no compassion towards you.
Zahara Posted May 19, 2014 Posted May 19, 2014 she still doesn't understand how much she hurt me and how much I lost This is a huge red flag for you. Entitled, lacking empathy and self-absorbed. 2
soccerrprp Posted May 19, 2014 Posted May 19, 2014 Hi everyone, I don't want to go into the details of how it happened, but my gf slept with her ex when he came to visit and now we (I?) have to deal with the consequences... I am just wondering how people forgive their gf/bf for cheating on them? I know we have (had?) something very special, but I just cannot get that horrible feeling of being betrayed out of me... I hate that it's become a part of our relationship (mostly for me - she still doesn't understand how much she hurt me and how much I lost - she still feels the same ay toward me, but I explain to her that something inside me died for her when she betrayed me and I am trying to get it back, but am having trouble finding it) Any advice on how people have forgiven (and forgotten?) would be greatly appreciated... Thanks If I found out my gf slept with or was in an inappropriate relationship/communication with her ex, it would be over! I don't have any insight as to how to forgive your gf for this selfish, disrespectful betrayal as I would never entertain reconciliation, but you should ask her to get test for STDs and you if you've slept with her since this cheating. 1
Elias33 Posted May 19, 2014 Posted May 19, 2014 You will have to forgive her, because not doing so, is doing something to yourself. With regards to her lack of empathy in this horrible situation, and given that she is the source of your hurt, it is in this situation best to move on, by yourself. Because if you don't have that understanding, you will never be able to get on the same page again...good luck.
Speakingofwhich Posted May 19, 2014 Posted May 19, 2014 If she valued the gift she gives you in sharing emotional and sexual intimacy with you she'd realize that she gave something precious that belonged to you away to another man. A person who doesn't value what they're giving in a sexual experience may not understand why it would matter that they gave that to another person. A reason she may not value her gift of sexuality to you is because of low self esteem. In your shoes I'd probably break off the relationship. This girl has a lot to learn and a lot of healing to experience before she's relationship material. She really needs help and to realize her personal value. I know you asked for advice on how to forgive her. But, you may end up getting a lot of practice with forgiving as chances are pretty good she may end up repeating this type of behavior.
No Limit Posted May 19, 2014 Posted May 19, 2014 She jumped into her exes' bed at the snap of his fingers. There's no point in staying with her. Run run run. 2
Simon Phoenix Posted May 19, 2014 Posted May 19, 2014 Time to pull the "abandon relationship" lever my friend. 2
Recommended Posts