magicallydelicious Posted May 19, 2014 Posted May 19, 2014 i really like this guy i'm currently dating. we've been out four times, the last of which we had sex. he initiates contact with me, talks for hours usually, and plans dates and things to do in the future. but the problem is that he is still regularly active on the dating site. we haven't had any talk of exclusivity or commitment, so i understand this is fair game, but it bothers me. is this normal? do guys tend to continue to log on? should i discuss it with him? i don't want to be clingy.
Tressugar Posted May 19, 2014 Posted May 19, 2014 Let this one go. You are a booty call. Four dates and then sex is moving way too quick. Next time do not give up the goods until there has been talk and commitments made of exclusivity. 2
okc85 Posted May 19, 2014 Posted May 19, 2014 I disagree with the previous poster. Don't read into it. I'm dating someone I like right now, but I still log into my Okcupid profile. When we become exclusive, I'll deactivate. 1
Michelle ma Belle Posted May 19, 2014 Posted May 19, 2014 The only way you'd know he's still logging into his profile is if YOU are as well. It seems a bit ridiculous to expect him to stop when you have only been on four dates and haven't had any kind of talk about being exclusive. The fact that it bothers you is because you've slept with him before having "the talk". Why do women continually do this? Did you think having sex with him would some how sway his decision? If it bothers you that much, then talk to him about it and see where he stands on things. And if you do this, be prepared that he might not be interested in anything exclusive with you at this time. 3
Author magicallydelicious Posted May 19, 2014 Author Posted May 19, 2014 i didn't think sex would sway his decision. i had sex with him because i wanted to. i'm only dating him currently, and don't care to date anyone else. you're right, i probably should've had "the talk" with him prior to having sex, but i was caught up in the moment and it happened. i understand he may not be interested in anything exclusive...we've only been out a handful of times. but i don't like the uncertainty and am curious as to where to go from here.
Assasda Posted May 19, 2014 Posted May 19, 2014 Yes. The only reason you saw him on the site, is because YOU are on the site as well. So if you want him to stop, gently, stroke his ego and tell him, that you want him all to yourself. You'll seem a little more sexy than needy. And it'll work. So you know what you need to do
Leigh 87 Posted May 19, 2014 Posted May 19, 2014 i really like this guy we haven't had any talk of exclusivity or commitment, so i understand this is fair game, but it bothers me. Then don't have sex with me whom you aren't exclusive with. is this normal? do guys tend to continue to log on? not if they are really into you. Yes it is normal for guys to still log on after a few dates but once a guy finds a girl he is really into, all the other women tend to not compare should i discuss it with him? i don't want to be clingy. Yes. You should say that you don't want to sleep with him again until you two have established exclusivity. Even then he could lie to you and pretend that your exclusive so he can still get sex from you while he continues to date other women. Just be careful, not all guys are jerk but you have to make sure that their actions show that they truly care about you.
Leigh 87 Posted May 19, 2014 Posted May 19, 2014 i didn't think sex would sway his decision. i had sex with him because i wanted to. i'm only dating him currently, and don't care to date anyone else. you're right, i probably should've had "the talk" with him prior to having sex, but i was caught up in the moment and it happened. i understand he may not be interested in anything exclusive...we've only been out a handful of times. but i don't like the uncertainty and am curious as to where to go from here. You have "only" been out a few times. Did you know that many men are REALLY into a girl after one or two dates? It's not uncommon for guys with options to stop seeing other people after a date or two with a girl who they REALLY like? Not all men have the drive to keep going on dates with women once they find A woman they are really into.
SJC2008 Posted May 19, 2014 Posted May 19, 2014 This is a common problem with old. Get used to it or quit OLD. And yes, you know he's logging on because you're logging on. What if he was logging on to see if you are?
PegNosePete Posted May 19, 2014 Posted May 19, 2014 I still log on to read the forums. Some OLD have mobile apps which always show you as online even if you're not active. And yeah how do you know he's online unless you are online too? How do you know he's not discussing exactly the same thing with his mates... she had sex with me but she's still active on OLD what should I do??? You need to learn to communicate better rather than stalk online activity.
Author magicallydelicious Posted May 19, 2014 Author Posted May 19, 2014 thanks for all the help, guys. you've made a lot of valid points. 1
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