rogsmith9876 Posted May 18, 2014 Posted May 18, 2014 Hello, Quick background history of my mentality about women. I used to be a nice guy. The guy who wants way more than the other person in the relationship. I've gone thru quite some bad experiences with women. Cheating, lying, etc. I seem to always gravitate towards the crazy ones without even knowing it as it's happening. As such, over the last few months I've learned to become that mysterious, guarded guy. The guy a lot of girls like. It's not real, it's not who I really am, but my heart has genuinely become colder. I have a warm heart covered by an icy shell that will take a woman a lot of "actions' and genuineness to get thru. For the last few months I've become cold and distant but then came Katrina. My story is a crazy one. One that starts at Ground Zero with a reg-flag. A little over a month ago I went to Tijuana with some friends. We went to a strip club. My only intention was to have fun with my friends. I met a woman there who took my breath away. Now let's be real. A Tijuana strip club doubles as a brothel as well. I met Katrina. She approached me and sat down. She spoke pretty good English. Enough we could communicate. We hit it off. Now I am no sucker. I know her job is to make me want her so I will buy her drinks and possibly get a lapdance or take her to the motel next door. We spent two hours talking and I felt her interest as genuine. I decided to pay the $70 to have sex with her at the motel. I know, maybe I am gross for that, but I did it. It was amazing and the way she looked in my eyes seemed like nothing a girl would do for some "John." I still kept my reservations up. Then we walked back into the strip club. This is the moment where I realized fantasy time is over. She will forget about me because her job was accomplished. I accepted this and had no problem with it. It turns out over the next hour she would wave to me and smile and came upstairs and sat next to me. She made out with me for about 15 minutes right in front of her bosses. She even said we are crazy for doing that where she works. She wrote down her phone number on a napkin and told me to keep in touch. Another 30 minutes later she asked if she could hang out with me. She got out of work early. She went to a different strip club with me and my friends. We kissed the entire time. Then she came back to my hotel. We had sex again (for free, lol) and she spent the night. I never in my entire life had a woman look at me the way she looked at me or touch me the way she touched me. She seemed more into me, on night one, then women I dated for 5 months or more. In the back of my mind I keep thinking this is her job but she's off the clock right now. This is all on her free time. We exchanged email's and phone numbers and parted ways. I contacted her when I got back home to America. Since then we have been in contact almost every single day for over a month now. The only reason I have kept it going is because once she finishes college she is going to move to America. As embarrassing as it sounds we fell for eachother fast and already have been making plans for a future. She tells me she wants 2 babies and a good wedding. I will admit that when she tells me she loves me I say it back. I honestly don't feel it because my trust for woman is out of whack. She seems sincere in everything she says. We Skype sometimes, talk on the phone, etc. We have big plans. Then comes the red-flags. She mentions that she got out of a relationship right before me and that it is difficult but she is moving on. Right after hearing that I see doom and gloom. I wonder if she is so in love with me just to ease her pain from her ex and then will leave me once she is cured or he comes running back. I asked her that if he dumped his current girlfriend, and asked for her to meet with him and talk to her, would she? She said yes. She claims they would only be friends because she is still friends with all 4 of her exes. My gut tells me she would run back to him. There's no sure answer but my gut doesn't feel great about it. Now the real issue is the fighting. She ignored me for 2 days one time. Then out of the blue messages me that she doesn't think the relationship will work because I don't pay attention to her. She ignored me. I told her I was hurt that she ignored me and how now she is spinning it on me. She called me weak and that she does't want a weak man. This was very disrespectful so I decided to end it and said "goodbye." She immediately called me and we talked and everything was cool. Then the next week she created another imaginary fight. I have done nothing but be great to her but she seems to create these fights over nothing and blames me for them. I finally had my last straw. She got mad at me over something very petty a few days ago. She ignored me the entire day. Then I wake up to a message of her saying she can't have a future with a man who runs away from the first problem in a relationship. I didn't run. I was ignored. She also constantly reminds me she can get any man she wants. She also has threatened a few times to leave me and move on with her life. Keep in mind I've done nothing wrong. I don't know if she's completely bat**** crazy or if she is testing me. Either way I had my fair share of it and sent her a huge message. It basically said I love her, I want her, but I don't need her. I told her that the way she acts is emotionally abusive. The way she threatens me and always says she can find another man. I said I don't like the fighting anymore and that her wish is granted and that I will move on and leave her alone. I also said I can't have a women who disrespects me. I wished her well. I told her I hope the best for her. That she has a great life, finds a great man, and achieves all her dreams. I told her I value the special time we had together. She simply replied with, "Hello my emotionally abused friend. We can hang out when you come here next month but we are only friends now and nothing more." I replied "ok. seya later." This was 2 days ago. I haven't heard anything from her since. I booked a flight to spend 3 days with her a couple weeks ago. I am going in 21 days. Now it seems I shall be going alone. The advice I request is this. Do you think I should completely ignore her for the rest of my life? Do you think I should reach out right away and try to establish at least a friendship with her? Do you think I should hold off a couple weeks and then try to establish a friendship? I think I could handle hanging out with her as just a friend. I think it will show her I don't care and she may want to sleep with me and continue what we have once she sees me in person. Then again I probably shouldn't pursue someone like her who probably will NEVER CHANGE. Also, if I have no contact with her when I go to Tijuana next month, I will be alone and bored. I will go into her place of employment to have fun whilst ignoring her. Do you think this would make her furious or jealous or do you think she won't care? This visit to her strip club isn't about her, it's just about me having fun. Still though, I don't want to upset her enough to go crazy and get mad at me. She also might walk up to me like nothing ever happened and try to hang out. Basically, should I ignore her forever? Should I reach out to her? Do you think I should just wait and see if she comes back to me. This woman is beautiful and can get any man but I know that she knows she won't find a guy like me anytime soon. I sometimes think we are playing a game right now about who is going to message who first. Who will crack? Both waiting. I don't want to come up weak. I want her in my life to some extent and wish she was "the one" but her made-up fights and arguments are a pain the ass. Why do you think she fabricates all these fights and reasons why I'm not good enough for her yet always comes back to me the next day? Thanks for the advice.
Author rogsmith9876 Posted May 18, 2014 Author Posted May 18, 2014 Like I always say.... Men LOVE CRAZY! I know, it sucks! haha
travelbug1996 Posted May 18, 2014 Posted May 18, 2014 Only crazy men like crazy women. Dude, she is a stripper and you fell in love with her?? Nooooooo. You had sex and she charged you the first time and you got it "free" the second time? Please use that ticket to go somewhere else. You can save yourself a lot drama and pain but it appears that you like the drama. Go ahead and knock yourself out. Pain is the Great Motivator
ExpatInItaly Posted May 18, 2014 Posted May 18, 2014 You fell for a prostitute. One who wants to come to the US. She's talking weddings and you met only a month ago. Think about those three things for a moment.
Author rogsmith9876 Posted May 18, 2014 Author Posted May 18, 2014 You fell for a prostitute. One who wants to come to the US. She's talking weddings and you met only a month ago. Think about those three things for a moment. It's not a Visa (green card) thing. She works in Tijuana sporadically to earn money. Then she goes back home to Culiacan for college. She is coming to America on her own Visa and her own will. She finishes college in August of 2015. Then she will get a work visa. She's not trying to get a green card from me. Now the fact she's talking kids and weddings one month into knowing eachother, yeah, that is pretty damn crazy.
Recommended Posts