April Moon Posted June 12, 2014 Posted June 12, 2014 (edited) Honestly, I didn't take her statement as an insult. She is making a very valid point. Edited June 12, 2014 by April Moon Spelling
2sunny Posted June 12, 2014 Posted June 12, 2014 You have been rude to her. First by failing to send a thank you note. Then by turning your back to her and speaking with her husband. It's been pointed out to you that you have been rude yet you keep doing things that aren't gracious. Did you write the thank you note yet? It takes one minute to simply write out a quick thought about someone who made effort to buy you a gift and spend their money on you. If you don't intend to be kind and loving to them - maybe it would be better to return the gift they gave to you. Have you considered that as an option? While I don't think her comment about being in the wedding is any of her business I do think responding to her is only classy. Even if you responded by saying "you're kind to be thinking of me, I'm sure I'll work it out".
Author ThursdayChild Posted June 12, 2014 Author Posted June 12, 2014 Well her comment is spot on! Sorry, but most thoughtful people would never make such a commitment so close to their due date. Babies often don't come on their due date. Being two weeks late isn't uncommon...unless you've already scheduled a c-section. Plus there may be complications. Second, most mothers right after the birth of the baby aren't in a frame of mind to keep social commitments. It's all about the newborn. (From your other thread, you're too overwhelmed by your current children to even be civil with your sister-in-law at family functions...how exactly will you manage matron of honor duties with a neonate in tow when you can't even have a conversation under normal circumstances?) Third, babies shouldn't be exposed to large crowds that early in life. Their immune systems haven't yet developed, and they are dependent on any passive immunity they derive from their mother. So are you/were you planning to leave the newborn alone with someone else while you spent a day or two at the wedding party activities and actual wedding festivities?? That's just not a choice most mothers of newborns make. Was the plan to expose your newborn to a bunch of people?? I hadn't even thought about it tbh
AnneT1985 Posted June 12, 2014 Posted June 12, 2014 Did it ever occur to you that this woman is actually being a rather good friend? One you likely have lost? I mean just think about it. She bought you a gift and took her time and money to do that-she didn't have to and that was a lovely gesture. Second- she brought to your attention something you didn't even think about and is potentially saving you from a train wreck. It IS her business if you were talking about being in this wedding, and she asked a very logical question to something that you very likely will not even be showing up to due to the circumstances you outlined and could end up a disaster for all involved and even more damaged relationships. I understand it may have made you feel stupid, but that is your issue. We feel things constantly....but it's very sad to allow that to dictate your life and destroy relationships. It sounds like this woman is actually being a good friend. I wish you the best of luck
April Moon Posted June 12, 2014 Posted June 12, 2014 I hadn't even thought about it tbh I don't mean this to sound rude at all but that statement kind proves exactly what your friend was saying with her statement. 1
2sunny Posted June 12, 2014 Posted June 12, 2014 So now that you've thought about it - do you plan to send the thank you note to them? You could also apologize and make an attempt to set things right...
Author ThursdayChild Posted June 20, 2014 Author Posted June 20, 2014 I am the maid of honor in a wedding 2 weeks after my due date. This lady asked how I was planning to do that and that it was nice of the bride to be cool if I can't attend. When I asked her why wouldn't I be able to attend, she responded "because you're having a baby. Most people would think about these things before making such a huge commitment". So I decided to be nice and just invited the wife to said wedding shower I am hosting and the maid of honor in. She declined immediately
stillafool Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 It's probably better that way considering your previous posts. 1
Got it Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 I agree and think you owe her a huge apology and mea culpa. You have been repeatedly rude for little reason and look very childish.
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