you_can_not_see_me Posted May 18, 2014 Share Posted May 18, 2014 (edited) I ask this because I thought it was super obvious to this girl that I was attracted to her, but she still played along with my subtle flirting and hitting on her, she kept sitting right beside me in class and the few times we hanged out outside class, she was pretty willing to ask personal questions and let on personal information. Yet when I officially asked her out she said she was seeing someone aka got rejected. my question is why would she play along if she had no intention of going out? I have a hard time believing she did not notice my interest in her, other girls I have known were pretty good at picking up on this stuff. so is it a case of the girl just being oblivious, or did she know and just wanted to string me along a little bit? Edited May 18, 2014 by you_can_not_see_me Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted May 18, 2014 Share Posted May 18, 2014 being subtle says it all.......its hard to know what the line is between unawares and subtlety its actually pretty obvious to me when a guy likes me.......what is harder to discern is it a hopeful heart with the rare someone in particular or on my own behalf that i am mirroring my own feelings for him....gets confused in there..so luckily for me most of my partners are upfront and just ask me out or go for the kiss......i am actually the same if i feel strongly ill ask.....thank god its rare subtle is hard to read give me an example of your subtle.......and ill tell you if i could pick it up watching you try to be subtle...... Link to post Share on other sites
Author you_can_not_see_me Posted May 18, 2014 Author Share Posted May 18, 2014 (edited) being subtle says it all.......its hard to know what the line is between unawares and subtlety its actually pretty obvious to me when a guy likes me.......what is harder to discern is it a hopeful heart with the rare someone in particular or on my own behalf that i am mirroring my own feelings for him....gets confused in there..so luckily for me most of my partners are upfront and just ask me out or go for the kiss......i am actually the same if i feel strongly ill ask.....thank god its rare subtle is hard to read give me an example of your subtle.......and ill tell you if i could pick it up watching you try to be subtle...... First of all why do you always have dots in your posts? second I wasn't that subtle really. sure I didn't try to kiss, but we made A LOT of eye contact, a few times she herself stared at me for close to 10 seconds (which I thought was a little too much), and on a number of occasions I on purpose let her see me checking out her thighs/legs and cleavage and it never made her uncomfortable, in fact she smiled at me a couple of times when I did that. You wanna tell me that was too subtle. Edited May 18, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 1 Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted May 18, 2014 Share Posted May 18, 2014 Many people will tell you that girls are really good at picking up when a guy likes them, and that they almost have a sixth sense about that stuff. It's all a load of crap. In my experience women are terrible at it and can never tell when I like them, unless I'm being super obvious, and even then they might not have a clue. A big problem of that is that for some reason women are more inclined to believe that guys just want to be friends with them than the most likely truth that the guys really just want to get in her pants. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted May 18, 2014 Share Posted May 18, 2014 First of all why do you always have dots in your posts? second I wasn't that subtle really. sure I didn't try to kiss, but we made A LOT of eye contact, and on a number of occasions I on purpose let her see me checking out her thighs/leg and cleavage and it never made her uncomfortable, in fact she smiled at me a couple of times when I did that. You wanna tell me that was too subtle. i focus with ellipses in my posts......helps me delete irrelevant thoughts or hunt for my dyslexic typing.......you are not the first one to ask..... if she was wearing a low cut top or has big breasts or a high cut skirt or curves that are covered even or attempting to hide those curves and failing....then a lot of men would look.......its not unusual what is more noticeable is men who try not too......that shows respect and or possible interest other than sex when you have had a lot of men look at you......it becomes more noticeable with men who dont.......if they arent taken men who are showing respect for wives and girlfriends, single guys who dont look specifically in those areas and look straight in your eyes and those eyes are widened not hooded.......are the ones who are considered of higher interest and serious dating material.....if she isnt interested in sex straight up you just lucked out.....that was the smile.......in my experience anyway....directly looking at a womans breasts or whatever else is down there......makes it obvious you are thinking about sex........that smile then could be an awkward smile or nah you aint having that....what is it you want from her.......deb 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author you_can_not_see_me Posted May 18, 2014 Author Share Posted May 18, 2014 i focus with ellipses in my posts......helps me delete irrelevant thoughts or hunt for my dyslexic typing.......you are not the first one to ask..... if she was wearing a low cut top or has big breasts or a high cut skirt or curves that are covered even or attempting to hide those curves and failing....then a lot of men would look.......its not unusual what is more noticeable is men who try not too......that shows respect and or possible interest other than sex when you have had a lot of men look at you......it becomes more noticeable with men who dont.......if they arent taken men who are showing respect for wives and girlfriends, single guys who dont look specifically in those areas and look straight in your eyes and those eyes are widened not hooded.......are the ones who are considered of higher interest and serious dating material.....if she isnt interested in sex straight up you just lucked out.....that was the smile.......in my experience anyway....directly looking at a womans breasts or whatever else is down there......makes it obvious you are thinking about sex........that smile then could be an awkward smile or nah you aint having that....what is it you want from her.......deb you got to be kidding me:laugh: a guy looking at your goods is a clear induction the guy is attracted to you, especally if he lets you catch him doing that. Also the girl did not give me an awkward smile, after staring at her legs we actually started hanging outside of class a bit. Why would a girl do that while she knows I want to **** her? it makes it seem like she is giving me an invitation to go farther with her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author you_can_not_see_me Posted May 18, 2014 Author Share Posted May 18, 2014 Yes........... lol so you are telling me you wouldn't notice I was interested in you if I did the stuff I described in the OP? Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted May 18, 2014 Share Posted May 18, 2014 Yeah, I always know. If I am not interested, I just pretend that I don't know. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
Author you_can_not_see_me Posted May 18, 2014 Author Share Posted May 18, 2014 Yeah, I always know. If I am not interested, I just pretend that I don't know. sure, but you wouldn't encourage him, would you? The girl who rejected me though encouraged me every step of the way. I wasn't even the one to start stuff. she was the one who approached me on multiple occasions. I only started pursuing her when it seemed super obvious that she was interested, and I was really surprised when she said she was seeing someone. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted May 18, 2014 Share Posted May 18, 2014 you got to be kidding me:laugh: a guy looking at your goods is a clear induction the guy is attracted to you, especally if he lets you catch him doing that. Also the girl did not give me an awkward smile, after staring at her legs we actually started hanging outside of class a bit. Why would a girl do that while she knows I want to **** her? it makes it seem like she is giving me an invitation to go farther with her. i am not kidding so far you have nada on your radar you are not even sure she likes you...you are asking for advice not me i gave you a perspective an awkward smilecould mean i hope he doesnt ask me out...or crap he isnt even really looking at me this guy sucks....... or i really like this guy and here he is staring at my legs........an awkward smile can be like an awkward nah sorry i dont want to take it farther and **** you........please dont ask ask and ye shall receive....ask her and you will have your answer........if she wanted you that way...would have happened already i feel...so just maybe she doesnt want to ****...does that seem like a joke to you?.....deb Link to post Share on other sites
Author you_can_not_see_me Posted May 18, 2014 Author Share Posted May 18, 2014 i am not kidding so far you have nada on your radar you are not even sure she likes you...you are asking for advice not me i gave you a perspective an awkward smilecould mean i hope he doesnt ask me out...or crap he isnt even really looking at me this guy sucks....... or i really like this guy and here he is staring at my legs........an awkward smile can be like an awkward nah sorry i dont want to take it farther and **** you........please dont ask ask and ye shall receive....ask her and you will have your answer........if she wanted you that way...would have happened already i feel...so just maybe she doesnt want to ****...does that seem like a joke to you?.....deb you missed the part where I asked her and she said she was seeing someone else! Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted May 18, 2014 Share Posted May 18, 2014 you missed the part where I asked her and she said she was seeing someone else! well there you go i did miss that part..i have dyslexic reading skills tooo...now....why are you asking for advice about a taken girl? Link to post Share on other sites
Author you_can_not_see_me Posted May 18, 2014 Author Share Posted May 18, 2014 (edited) well there you go i did miss that part.....now....why are you asking for advice about a taken girl? I am not asking for advice. I am asking whether girls are really that oblivious to a guy being interested in them or did this girl just not give a damn that she was stringing along some guy. Edited May 18, 2014 by you_can_not_see_me Link to post Share on other sites
contact1 Posted May 18, 2014 Share Posted May 18, 2014 Better question would be why did you wait so long to ask her out to find out if there was even a chance at going out? I've never understood the whole "approach things slow" when initial contact. Just get up there and ask, or else this exact thing happens to you. OP, whether she was stringing you along or didn't know, it doesn't matter, the result was the same. Learn from it and be more aggressive next time with your approach. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author you_can_not_see_me Posted May 18, 2014 Author Share Posted May 18, 2014 Better question would be why did you wait so long to ask her out to find out if there was even a chance at going out? I've never understood the whole "approach things slow" when initial contact. Just get up there and ask, or else this exact thing happens to you. OP, whether she was stringing you along or didn't know, it doesn't matter, the result was the same. Learn from it and be more aggressive next time with your approach. sure I ll try to be more aggressive, but I also want to hear what girls have to say about my question. Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted May 18, 2014 Share Posted May 18, 2014 I am not asking advice. I am asking wether girls are really that oblivious to a guy being interested in them or did this girl just not give a damn that she was stringing along some guy. spaz me then.......no she wasnt oblivious to you and no she didnt string you along.....i have a male friend who often stares at women.......and they talk to me about it........and i deal with it......i tell him "eyes up man" he is so used t doing it he does it unconsciously................and so i tell him straight up ...as soon as i catch him because it makes women uncomfortable and yes they awkwardly smile normally at me so i say something.i always will ....i dont like seeing peopel uncomfortable/......and he actually doesnt want them to be so he is grateful to me actually..........then he gets his thoughts back out of the gutter and onto the conversation...if a guy does check out a womans pink bits or pins often enough it becomes ingrained ........and its not respectful or does it make a guy desirable......deb Link to post Share on other sites
Author you_can_not_see_me Posted May 18, 2014 Author Share Posted May 18, 2014 spaz me then.......no she wasnt oblivious to you and no she didnt string you along.....i have a male friend who often stares at women.......and they talk to me about it........and i deal with it......i tell him "eyes up man" he is so used t doing it he does it unconsciously................and so i tell him straight up ...as soon as i catch him because it makes women uncomfortable and yes they awkwardly smile normally at me so i say something.i always will ....i dont like seeing peopel uncomfortable/......and he actually doesnt want them to be so he is grateful to me actually..........then he gets his thoughts back out of the gutter and onto the conversation...if a guy does check out a womans pink bits or pins often enough it becomes ingrained ........and its not respectful or does it make a guy desirable......deb you didn't really answer my question, you just said a male friend of yours ogles girls. I don't ogle girls, I test them. I sometimes checkout a girl and if it seems that made her uncomfortable I don't do it again, if it seems like she liked it I take that as a sign of interest. the girl I mentioned seemed to like it when I checked her out. Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted May 18, 2014 Share Posted May 18, 2014 you didn't really answer my question, you just said a male friend of yours ogles girls. I don't ogle girls, I test them. I sometimes checkout a girl and if it seems that made her uncomfortable I don't do it again, if it seems like she liked it I take that as a sign of interest. the girl I mentioned seemed to like it when I checked her out. if she liked it she would have waylaid telling you she had a boyfriend......that is why i conclude nw that she didnt like it the smile was awkward and i bought up my friend ogling because women have asked me to say something.......they dont want to because ......it is awkward to say hey can you stop staring at my breasts so women often give awkward smiles.......i have known him for quite a while and he knows what i say isnt to put him down.......or make him uncomfortable..... more to make others feel more comfortable around him........ so yes it is awkward when a guy stares at you in the wrong area..common for women to give a small smile.........its wrong to stare at any rate ..good luck i hope next time you find what you are looking for and hopefully above the panty line above the neck would be cool i reckon...best wishes...... .deb Link to post Share on other sites
Author you_can_not_see_me Posted May 18, 2014 Author Share Posted May 18, 2014 if she liked it she would have waylaid telling you she had a boyfriend......that is why i conclude nw that she didnt like it the smile was awkward and i bought up my friend ogling because women have asked me to say something.......they dont want to because ......it is awkward to say hey can you stop staring at my breasts so women often give awkward smiles.......i have known him for quite a while and he knows what i say isnt to put him down.......or make him uncomfortable..... more to make others feel more comfortable around him........ so yes it is awkward when a guy stares at you in the wrong area..common for women to give a small smile.........its wrong to stare at any rate ..good luck i hope next time you find what you are looking for and hopefully above the panty line above the neck would be cool i reckon...best wishes...... .deb Here's the thing, if she was really uncomfortable and that smile of hers was awkward, then why did she escalate things between us? We started hanging outside class after I stared at her womanly parts. If it really made her uncomfortable wouldn't it make sense to distance herself??? Also I don't have the intention of making girls uncomfortable, but if you don't suggest in someway that you are sexually attracted to a girl how is she even going to get the hint? you can't start getting sexual with a girl by being a total gentleman the whole time! you have to push the boundary a bit. If I went by what you said I d never ask a girl out ever. Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted May 18, 2014 Share Posted May 18, 2014 Here's the thing, if she was really uncomfortable and that smile of hers was awkward, then why did she escalate things between us? We started hanging outside class after I stared at her womanly parts. If it really made her uncomfortable wouldn't it make sense to distance herself??? Also I don't have the intention of making girls uncomfortable, but if you don't suggest in someway that you are sexually attracted to a girl how is she even going to get the hint? you can't start getting sexual with a girl by being a total gentleman the whole time! you have to push the boundary a bit. If I went by what you said I d never ask a girl out ever. i often suggest outside to people i feel uncomfortable around or who i feel may be uncomfortable around me...more space to put between me and them, not confined to a class room or room or hallway or wherever its freedom and not suffocating in negativity....... you will never ask a girl out if you dont stare at her attributes.....thats a bit sad.......you can actually show interest you knwo other than sex.......you coudl suggest an outing that had nothing to do with gittin naked ....like maybe the movies....an ice cream or a walk beside the sea or feed some llamas o ride a camel or kiss some seals something a little outside of the box...... pun intended.... and get to know her better other than thinking how her legs would look wrapped around your neck.....be upfront as another male poster suggested to you......and i add and suggest you look up and see what her eyes are telling you ...........deb Link to post Share on other sites
Author you_can_not_see_me Posted May 18, 2014 Author Share Posted May 18, 2014 (edited) i often suggest outside to people i feel uncomfortable around or who i feel may be uncomfortable around me...more space to put between me and them, not confined to a class room or room or hallway or wherever its freedom and not suffocating in negativity....... you will never ask a girl out if you dont stare at her attributes.....thats a bit sad.......you can actually show interest you knwo other than sex.......you coudl suggest an outing that had nothing to do with gittin naked ....like maybe the movies....an ice cream or a walk beside the sea or feed some llamas o ride a camel or kiss some seals something a little outside of the box...... pun intended.... and get to know her better other than thinking how her legs would look wrapped around your neck.....be upfront as another male poster suggested to you......and i add and suggest you look up and see what her eyes are telling you ...........deb Also the girl did not put space between me and herself when we hung out, outside of class we sat right beside each other, closer than in class. if she wanted to distance herself not hanging out period would have been the better choice. now for the second part, I am not saying I only want sex, or that's the only way to court a girl, I just said that you need to get the intention across to the girl that you want her, or else it would just be some friendship bull****. Edited May 18, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
littleplanet Posted May 18, 2014 Share Posted May 18, 2014 Why were you surprised that she was seeing someone? 'Seeing' someone could go all the way to serious relationship - all the way back down to casual interest. You don't know. Surprised because she was 'acting' single? (and available...) Flirtatious even? But to the question: Depends on the girl. Some girls add 'string' to their morning coffee. Some don't. I'm more inclined to think she knew exactly what she was doing. Playing you? That's your definition. Or just enjoying a bit of flirtation. That isn't exactly defined in the criminal code. There's a gazzillion different variations on this theme. Try not to categorize the behavior of all women into one narrow definition. It just isn't one size fits all. Link to post Share on other sites
DArtagnan2 Posted May 18, 2014 Share Posted May 18, 2014 dude, she probably thought you were cool and liked hanging out with you. She probably thought she made a friend , you on the other hand, being a guy, was thinking differently. I find it hard for a guy and gal to be around each other at first without the "hmm maybe's" getting in the way all the time. But, if someone does start getting to know someone and isn't of that mindset when going in to it, then they are not thinking about the "hmm maybe's" they are quite ok just with making new friends. its not always on everyone's mind, so the looks you gave or whatever it was, she wasn't on the same mind set as you. Thats most likely why. Link to post Share on other sites
SadNLonley Posted May 18, 2014 Share Posted May 18, 2014 I have to say that I think I am oblivious to it unless they really show interest. If it is just talking and smiling or a guy just looking at me, I dont think anything of it. Guys talk to girls all the time. It could just be friendly chat. Just like a gal starting a conversation with another gal. Funny how a bf sees another man looking at his girl and 1st thing that pops into his head is that the guy is oggling her and then jealousy kicks in. We look at things differently. Maybe Im just not intuned to it all. Link to post Share on other sites
soccerrprp Posted May 18, 2014 Share Posted May 18, 2014 I ask this because I thought it was super obvious to this girl that I was attracted to her, but she still played along with my subtle flirting and hitting on her, she kept sitting right beside me in class and the few times we hanged out outside class, she was pretty willing to ask personal questions and let on personal information. Yet when I officially asked her out she said she was seeing someone aka got rejected. my question is why would she play along if she had no intention of going out? I have a hard time believing she did not notice my interest in her, other girls I have known were pretty good at picking up on this stuff. so is it a case of the girl just being oblivious, or did she know and just wanted to string me along a little bit? Some people have huge egos. She liked the attention. Link to post Share on other sites
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