How do you feel men about women giving suggestions you in dating/relationships?

[joystickd]

I know for me especially with my recent situation the worst advice was from women. All the situations except 1 I can think of women gave me the worst advice. I look at a situation I was angry about on here and women gave the worst advice even gave advice supporting the woman and seemed like they enabled bad behavior from women.

 

I say that but it doesn't mean all women give bad advice to men. It's only a small select few that do actually give good advice.

[Phoe]

When I give advice I try to make it as logical and simple a solution as possible, and with the best intentions.

 

 

 

Whether it is actually seen as "good advice" is unknown.

[todreaminblue]

you should welcome all advice discard what isnt useful to you by using your own insight, take into account differing and perspectives that may be useful...... and you wont have a problem.......advice given ......is only bad if you choose to take it.......and use it.......who is to blame for that......your choice to see what you need ....or not.......deb

[joystickd]

you should welcome all advice discard what isnt useful to you by using your own insight, take into account differing and perspectives that may be useful...... and you wont have a problem.......advice given ......is only bad if you choose to take it.......and use it.......who is to blame for that......your choice to see what you need ....or not.......deb

No the issue is often women think to get women the advice they give is the all knowing final word. I know many guys have been told by women "Oh you want to be good at women then you need to listen to us". The only good advice I got was from lesbians.

[thefooloftheyear]

Neither gender really knows what makes the other tick, so advice should be taken with a grain of salt...Also, its been my experience that women tell people one thing, yet do the exact opposite in their own lives...

 

Talk to your male family/friends....You are more likely to get the real scoop.

 

TFY

[todreaminblue]

Neither gender really knows what makes the other tick, so advice should be taken with a grain of salt...Also, its been my experience that women tell people one thing, yet do the exact opposite in their own lives...

 

Talk to your male family/friends....You are more likely to get the real scoop.

 

TFY

 

 

 

doesnt matter if it is male or female people find it hard to follow their own advice .......had a recent ex ring me up the other ay and suggest we should go to dinner..i was writing on here giving advice to something similar......and i caught myself in a contradiction before hitting send.....and realised i just answered my own situation unconsciously.....i cant go to dinner with him because its not the advice i would give to do

i also deleted my advice to the poster because i knew it came close to me accepting a dinner invite and i felt like a hypocrite.......i actually use advice i would give others.......by answering posts that are similar situations or something i have experienced....i actually do follow my hearts advice so i dont need to ask for advice on here..hardly ever have....i follow my own heart and other posters on here give me food for thought make me see perspectives i dont see.......bad or good.... ultimately i have to trust my own heart for what is best for me ...perspectives from all types of peopleis what i think is what is good about love shack....deb

[somedude81]

All advice should be taken with a grain of salt no matter the gender of the person giving it.

 

Most of all you should ask yourself if the advice makes sense, and if it's something you can actually implement.

[Grumpybutfun]

I think I would be more inclined to listen to advice given by people who are knowledgeable, have had lots of experience and who think things through in both the logical and emotional sphere of things rather than determine if advice is good based on gender.

 

I have seen you post on this subject many times joystiked, and at this point I think you are projecting your own disappointments with dating in general on women because it means you have to look at yourself and your beliefs about women. Before you reject that thought, actually think about it.

 

If you think men give better advice than women, ask yourself why you think that...is it because somewhere deep inside you think women inferior intellectually or too duplicitous in their natures to give sound advice? If so, that is your hangup and it will limit you on your relationships anyway, regardless of whose advice you take.

 

Also, the great thing about advice is that we get to ignore it. Pay attention to what you want to ignore though, as that is probably the advice that could be important to your emotional development. At the end of the day, we all follow our own counsel. Your success is entirely up to you.

Good luck,

Grumps

[Woggle]

Some women do give good advice but I have found that the truest advice I have received is by men who have been in the trenches and have come out stronger because of it.

[Smilecharmer]

Noted...I won't give joystikd dating advice. Why date women at all if you think so little of them because your partner in life, if a woman, will want to give an opinion? If you think women are so stupid then maybe you need to date men.

[joystickd]

Noted...I won't give joystikd dating advice. Why date women at all if you think so little of them because your partner in life, if a woman, will want to give an opinion? If you think women are so stupid then maybe you need to date men.

No one is saying they are stupid so save it with the over dramatizing. We all have things we are not good at and I don't think little of them. They are other things they are good at but when it comes to giving men advice about dating women they suck.

[joystickd]

 

I have seen you post on this subject many times joystiked, and at this point I think you are projecting your own disappointments with dating in general on women because it means you have to look at yourself and your beliefs about women. Before you reject that thought, actually think about it.

 

If you think men give better advice than women, ask yourself why you think that...is it because somewhere deep inside you think women inferior intellectually or too duplicitous in their natures to give sound advice? If so, that is your hangup and it will limit you on your relationships anyway, regardless of whose advice you take.

It's not that I think they are inferior intellectually or projecting disappointments. In my experience that is what has happened. I'm a late bloomer and part of it was from taking advice from women. I figured hey they are women so they know what works. It never worked for me but other reasons were involved into why it took me so long so I'm not going to say that was a majority reason why. It was a small part and honestly a lot of men feel that way about getting advice from women in the beginning stages as for getting in the game. I'm also saying not all women give bad advice. There are some that give great advice.

[joystickd]

Feel free to ignore this advice from a woman...seek professional help. A psychologist can help you cope in a healthier way with anger issues.

Lol! You people love therapy don't you. I tried that once about 5 years agoe and it made me more angry. I guess from the rehashing of issues. We are all not the same therapy may work for you but it may not for someone else and neither does better living through chemistry.

[Smilecharmer]

No one is saying they are stupid so save it with the over dramatizing. We all have things we are not good at and I don't think little of them. They are other things they are good at but when it comes to giving men advice about dating women they suck.

 

Maybe you are absolutely right about your situation, but since you didn't say what the advice was and why it didn't work, I thought you were just generalizing about it. I don't think I could give good advice to men or women about dating because it came so very easy to me and I never had any problems we getting attention or dates. Someone, even a woman, who is having trouble with dating wouldn't really be helped by my advice because I had no challenges regarding dating. However, I think if a woman had the same challenges you do such as shyness or being introverted, they might have something to share about their experience that could help you. I just don't think it has anything to do with gender.

[Els]

The first question that occurs to me is that if you find the advice of half of the population re: relationships to be useless, why bother posting in a public forum where the majority comprises of that gender?

 

That being said, I've noticed that many of my platonic male friends come up to me asking for relationship advice, on matters that they hadn't even told most of their 'bros' about. They said their male friends wouldn't want to listen to their relationship problems or talk about relationships, and they didn't want to come off as emotional or sensitive to their male friends.

 

So I suspect there aren't that many men who feel the same way as you do about female relationship advice, OP.

[joystickd]

The first question that occurs to me is that if you find the advice of half of the population re: relationships to be useless, why bother posting in a public forum where the majority comprises of that gender?

 

That being said, I've noticed that many of my platonic male friends come up to me asking for relationship advice, on matters that they hadn't even told most of their 'bros' about. They said their male friends wouldn't want to listen to their relationship problems or talk about relationships, and they didn't want to come off as emotional or sensitive to their male friends.

 

So I suspect there aren't that many men who feel the same way as you do about female relationship advice, OP.

Notice last post I said beginning stages. BEGINNING STAGES!!!! Please save the over dramatizations I don't think what half of the population has to offer is useless. Notice I said some give great advice not all. Please read next time.

[Els]

Really? Re-read your own opening post again. "All but a small select few" seems very close in meaning to 'most women', to me.

 

I know for me especially with my recent situation the worst advice was from women. All the situations except 1 I can think of women gave me the worst advice. I look at a situation I was angry about on here and women gave the worst advice even gave advice supporting the woman and seemed like they enabled bad behavior from women.

 

I say that but it doesn't mean all women give bad advice to men. It's only a small select few that do actually give good advice.

 

If you view this post from a logical point of view, would it seem like 'over-dramatization' for people to be interpreting it the way they are?

 

Helpful hint: If more than half of the people reading something you wrote are getting the 'wrong' interpretation, it might be a good idea to look at how you could improve your communication rather than blaming everyone else.

[joystickd]

Really? Re-read your own opening post again. "All but a small select few" seems very close in meaning to 'most women', to me.

 

 

 

If you view this post from a logical point of view, would it seem like 'over-dramatization' for people to be interpreting it the way they are?

 

Helpful hint: If more than half of the people reading something you wrote are getting the 'wrong' interpretation, it might be a good idea to look at how you could improve your communication rather than blaming everyone else.

Possibly you may be right but I will say the women on here have a habit of over dramatizing things up here men say.

[Haydn]

The advice i got from my female friends about my ex was spot on. (Before and during) Shame i didn`t follow it.

 

But if i am doubt these days i take them to meet `Mum`.

 

`What are your intentions with my son?`, usually weeds out the chaff.

[joystickd]

The first question that occurs to me is that if you find the advice of half of the population re: relationships to be useless, why bother posting in a public forum where the majority comprises of that gender?

 

Balance. Hell I see the older man younger woman thread where men get shytted on for having that preference or the many why men do this threads. The moment a man puts something about women he is dysfunctional and needs counseling. I see it everytime I get up here. I see the comments of women talking a man is entitled because he refuses to wait for a woman to decide to have sex or not with them. It's not entitled if he is going some where else. The way the women on here want to sell the BS about the friendzone. The moment a man says something that is not along the lines of being friendly to women ex. PUA or any male dating advice person hell even askmen it's misogynist. I wonder do any of you women even know what the hell that word means. None of these guys hate women. I just return the energy some of the women on here give out.

[Radu]

Most of the advice i have received IRL from girls/women regarding relationships has been ... crap. Wait, have to be fair, some of it was also incredibly bad, shortsighted and i even suspected for a while ... malicious.

 

Most of the advice i have received from my mom and sister has been good.

 

I received some good advice from some lesbian/bi ladies, and it was good and honest.

 

The difference OP, is that for some ppl [regardless of gender], advice is not selfless but selfish, presented through the filter of what is best for them.

They do not realize this, as most of them are full of rationalizations that keep them thinking nice pink thoughts about themselves.

But their interests are clear.

They come in both genders, especially here on LS.

Generally speaking, if you start looking on LS at the ppl who try to be neutral, to see the 'real map' and are aware that it can never be fully seen, you will soon notice them ... and they give the best advice.

 

PS: I hope nobody will use this generalization to attack women in a broad fashion.

Worst advice i ever received is from girls of 25 and below, the 'relationships experts' ... in fact it's one of the reasons i started looking into relationships.

[ThaWholigan]

I don't believe any gender holds the monopoly on insight, particularly regarding dating/relationship/sex advice. Some of the best advice I ever got about dating was from women. My own mother told me not to be an overly nice doormat "you're a gentleman as it is, last thing you need to do is water yourself down!".

 

I got solid advice from guys all over the shop - the best advice was the one that got me laid. And ironically it was from a girl I was really into but never got with. She knew I was a late bloomer, but basically just told me to run with it and be comfortable. "You'd be surprised how many girls will like it".

 

Bless her heart, she was telling the truth .

[Always Pondering]

I personally don't care that much whether the person that is giving me advice is a woman or a man, as long as they are mature and not that "connected" to the person of interest (for example, I am not going to ask advice from a friend who is also interested in the same person, etc).

 

I tend to lean towards more experienced/mature people and my elders.

[janedoe67]

I do think sometimes women forget that most women want a man to act like a man. Advising a man to act like a woman to get a woman is probably not going to work.

 

True, there are some women who want their man to act like a woman....but most probably do not.

 

One thing I have learned is that I need to be wary of people who advise me based on the way I trigger their unresolved junk instead of based on what I am actually asking.

[InnocentMan]

If you want advice about relations with women, you don't ask a woman. You ask the dude who's banging all the women. He's much more likely to have more answers for a variety of relationship scenarios. An individual woman can only speak from her own experiences.

Edited May 19, 2014 by InnocentMan