Why do some women not let their men rest?

[joystickd]

Honestly it depends on the women you are dealing with. Some are not so dramatic

[Speakingofwhich]

I dated a guy who got angry at me if we both slept in or took a nap (with sex included). If we did this he thought we'd been lazy and it was my fault!

 

One time he came over to my house on a snowy Saturday while I was taking a nap. He was ticked off because I wasn't out playing in the snow!

 

I had my own business and totally supported my family of myself and two children, btw. He contributed nothing except entertainment (restaurant meals from time to time, which I appreciated).

 

When married to my H he took a nap once a week after church and lunch. I was fine with that.

 

He was sick only one time and I didn't nurture him to the extent I should have. I was wrong and have always regretted that.

 

The reason I didn't (which is no excuse, btw) is that he was a very strong person who was never sick. I worshiped him as if he was a god and couldn't come to terms with the thought that he was vulnerable to sickness. That was a long time ago and I would view and do things differently now.

[whirl3daway]

I always read these threads, and I'm like - where the hell do you guys meet these women? O_o

[Popsicle]

Me and my friend were discussing similar experiences about how some women go berserk when they see their man so much as take nap. Sometimes they also won't allow a man to get sick and, if he gets sick, will still insist that he act as normal and do his usual work around the house, etc.

 

I do know not all women are like this. Some truly get joy out of caring for their man and like him to feel good. But why do some women not do this? My friend actually said his ex started CRYING when she came home and he was napping. My own ex-wife got mad at me for having a stomach virus where I was throwing up. She ran to her parents house to complain about me. I mean, seriously, when it comes time for me to die, will they allow me to die in peace?

 

I'd call this a mismatched couple. Some people are type A and need someone just like them.

[janedoe67]

I never really begrudged naps. In fact, when he was working I guarded his post work hour or so so that he could rest and unwind. But when he was not working and spent the whole day napping and playing video games claiming it helped him "brainstorm," yeah, that was a problem.

[ASG]

I dated a guy who got angry at me if we both slept in or took a nap (with sex included). If we did this he thought we'd been lazy and it was my fault!

 

 

LOL My ex was exactly like that!

One time, I had stayed over at his and had nothing to do, so was going to sleep in. He also slept in. He then proceeded to blame me for not getting up early enough!

 

I was always baffled by him. He would quite happily veg around all day (just like I like to do), but would always feel guilty about it and then blame me for it. I always called him up on his bull****. Just because *I* don't feel the need to tear a wall down to do whatever, it doesn't mean he shouldn't do whatever is on his to-do list, just because I'm still asleep.

 

That's another thing that's always bugged me... To-do lists. I mean... really... how much do you honestly HAVE to do?? I've never made up a to do list! EVER! Don't need one. Whatever needs doing gets done as and when, I don't need to stress myself over a list! What's the deal with it? Anyone???

[Lixxy]

I don't know any woman who doesn't get annoyed at her male partner when he's ill (oh, or has the "man flu" - what a way to disregard illness when it's being experienced by a man), or if he wants to rest, or when he isn't in some way functioning like the tireless workhorse she expects him to be.

 

Entirely void of empathy, basic compassion, and the desire to care and nurture ... the women I know.

[janedoe67]

I don't know any woman who doesn't get annoyed at her male partner when he's ill (oh, or has the "man flu" - what a way to disregard illness when it's being experienced by a man), or if he wants to rest, or when he isn't in some way functioning like the tireless workhorse she expects him to be.

 

Entirely void of empathy, basic compassion, and the desire to care and nurture ... the women I know.

 

You must not know any quality women then. I know lots of women who take care of their sick husbands, make the doc appointments for them, make soup, etc.

 

I think we all pretty much see what we want to see.

[Tiger Lily]

Good luck getting a response on here from women that do act this way.

 

You will get a handful of women that will make sure they clear their name, and tell you that they "never do that".....but the chances of getting any sort of real feedback is slim.

 

Thats what I've always noticed on this forum. I can post a thread about almost any topic....and you will always get the women that make it clear the topic doesnt apply to them.....but you rarely ever see a woman fess up and admit she does this or that. We all know theres women reading these posts that do fit the criteria.....but why they cant chime in boggles my mind.

 

You would think complete anonymity on here would get people to open up more....but that has been proved wrong.

 

Yep, you called it!

 

That's another thing that's always bugged me... To-do lists. I mean... really... how much do you honestly HAVE to do?? I've never made up a to do list! EVER! Don't need one. Whatever needs doing gets done as and when, I don't need to stress myself over a list! What's the deal with it? Anyone???

 

?

 

You've never known anyone that benefits from the use of a to-do list, and you can't see their advantage?? You might not like them, but others feel better getting a lot done that way!

 

The more type-A personalities among us accomplish a lot on this earth, and the more type-B people help bring relaxation and appreciation for the moment. But I think both types need each other in this world. And if two different personalities types are joined together in a marriage, for example, the solution is to work together on figuring out what's best for the couple. Not just dismiss the other person as "crazy" for how they operate.

[M30USA]

Considering all these posts so far and what we've learned, we can conclude that the best wedding gift for a man is a punch-in timeclock.

[janedoe67]

I make to do lists for myself. But I would NEVER make one for someone else unless they specifically asked me to. I have a friend who hands her husband a list the night before his day off of all sorts of stuff he needs to do. I don't know why, but something about that rubs me wrong. I know, it really isn't any of my business. I just don't like women who seem to henpeck their men.

[veggirl]

Honestly I don't expect a lot from a wife. My ex wife even TOLD me this. She said, "You don't need anything!" But what I do need is peace and quiet. I'm only going to live a few decades on this planet so I at least want some peace.

 

So if you and your wife are both napping all day, who does the cooking and cleaning and laundry?

 

I mean if you are both doing 50% of the housework and she still bitches then that's a problem but typically the bitching is the result of one person doing the majority of necessary work while the other chills.

 

Lots of guys think their day ends when they get off work, while the woman is still expected to make dinner and clean up.

[veggirl]

I make to do lists for myself. But I would NEVER make one for someone else unless they specifically asked me to. I have a friend who hands her husband a list the night before his day off of all sorts of stuff he needs to do. I don't know why, but something about that rubs me wrong. I know, it really isn't any of my business. I just don't like women who seem to henpeck their men.

 

yeah, but what if the guy will nap all day rather than doing anything if he isn't specifically told to do so? I'd be rubbed the wrong way by a guy who needs a list to know he should clean the toilet every now & again, ya know?

[serial muse]

I always read these threads, and I'm like - where the hell do you guys meet these women? O_o

 

Seriously. And why did you marry them?

[Tiger Lily]

Considering all these posts so far and what we've learned, we can conclude that the best wedding gift for a man is a punch-in timeclock.

 

You sound a little bitter. Did you resent having to help out around the home?

 

I make to do lists for myself. But I would NEVER make one for someone else unless they specifically asked me to. I have a friend who hands her husband a list the night before his day off of all sorts of stuff he needs to do. I don't know why, but something about that rubs me wrong. I know, it really isn't any of my business. I just don't like women who seem to henpeck their men.

 

I think you're right that if someone doesn't like lists, they have every right to request they're not used.

 

Regarding your friend, I really don't think that men process these requests the same way women do. I was under the impression that men like to be given a job with clear instruction, and they don't necessarily like to guess at what is being said or what needs to be done. Of course, if a man prefers to not get a list, and just discuss things orally, that's fine. But a list may eliminate some of the nagging, confusion and general annoyance of completing chores, imo.

 

To each his own, though.

[Speakingofwhich]

I regularly make to do lists for myself. Even make specific ones such as things I can do while talking on the phone. Have never made a to do list for someone else.

[CrystalCastles]

Honestly I don't expect a lot from a wife. My ex wife even TOLD me this. She said, "You don't need anything!" But what I do need is peace and quiet. I'm only going to live a few decades on this planet so I at least want some peace.

 

You want peace? Stay single!

 

Not every woman is going to be like your xW.

[Els]

Considering all these posts so far and what we've learned, we can conclude that the best wedding gift for a man is a punch-in timeclock.

 

Really? Because last I checked, the majority of women were saying that they understand the need for rest.

 

Or are you referring to the posts stating that it's fair to expect the man to pitch in with the housework if both parties are working full-time? Is there a particular issue that you have with that?

 

If you DO have an issue with that, you have options. Stay single and live in a bachelor's pad. Or, be the sole breadwinner in your family and support a housewife/SAHM. Then you don't have to do any housework after coming home from work if you don't want to.

 

There are plenty of options. You just can't have your cake and eat it too, is all.

[Smilecharmer]

I think the most simple answer is women do most or all of the housework and errands in some households so they feel overwhelmed. I don't so I can't even begin to imagine how hard that would be with a household, full time job, having to be pretty all the time too and a sex kitten, being the primary caregiver to your children if your husband thinks it is your duty, etc. When men come home, their day is done in many households. Men say they don't do this, but most of the time even the ones who think they help have no idea what goes into running a home, a family, and trying to keep up with projects, bakes sales, clean clothes and houses, PTA meetings, getting kids to sports and doctors apps., getting meals planned with snacks and school lunches, grocery and household shopping, and take care of his and your immediate family. Men are very unaware because there are no societal or family expectations on them to do anything other than lawn care and work a 9 to 5 job. Most tKe their vehicles to other men for maintenance. I realize there are some awesome men who do their parts like my husband, but I haven't seen or heard about many of him in to real life. Women I know, women who write, women everywhere say their lives are almost unmanageable due to having too few hours and too much to do. Could that be why she cried or why she needed you on the day you were sick and she lost her mind? Just asking?

Edited May 19, 2014 by Smilecharmer

[Lixxy]

You must not know any quality women then. I know lots of women who take care of their sick husbands, make the doc appointments for them, make soup, etc.

 

I think we all pretty much see what we want to see.

 

So it's my fault I haven't met nicer women?

 

I don't know where you get "we see what we want to see". I was brought up by one, and another one is my sister...

[Els]

Oh, just thought of another option for the OP if he doesn't want to do any housework. Have sufficient income to eat out everyday and hire a cleaner, nanny, gardener, and repairman. See, options abound!

 

So it's my fault I haven't met nicer women?

 

I don't know where you get "we see what we want to see". I was brought up by one, and another one is my sister...

 

Haven't you met other women besides those two, in 20-plus years of life? If I were to go by what my mother did/does, I'd have a pretty screwed impression of women and how they act in relationships, too...

[gaius]

Seriously. And why did you marry them?

That kind of attention and bitchiness can be very sexy but not when I'm trying to sleep. =/

[Haydn]

That`s my day.

 

I think the most simple answer is women do most or all of the housework and errands in some households so they feel overwhelmed. I don't so I can't even begin to imagine how hard that would be with a household, full time job, having to be pretty all the time too and a sex kitten, being the primary caregiver to your children if your husband thinks it is your duty, etc. When men come home, their day is done in many households. Men say they don't do this, but most of the time even the ones who think they help have no idea what goes into running a home, a family, and trying to keep up with projects, bakes sales, clean clothes and houses, PTA meetings, getting kids to sports and doctors apps., getting meals planned with snacks and school lunches, grocery and household shopping, and take care of his and your immediate family. Men are very unaware because there are no societal or family expectations on them to do anything other than lawn care and work a 9 to 5 job. Most tKe their vehicles to other men for maintenance. I realize there are some awesome men who do their parts like my husband, but I haven't seen or heard about many of him in to real life. Women I know, women who write, women everywhere say their lives are almost unmanageable due to having too few hours and too much to do. Could that be why she cried or why she needed you on the day you were sick and she lost her mind? Just asking?

[Haydn]

Most of my friends with kids do everything and their partner goes out to work. Pretty common nowadays.

[jonsnuh]

Sadism for some sadly.

 

Some find pleasure out of causing pain on others, when they don't think it hurts as much as physical. Or they know it would hurt more but they aren't willing to say it.

 

Weird thought process, but I guess the person I asked was a little messed up.