tcd421 Posted May 17, 2014 Posted May 17, 2014 I know a break up is coming from me. My issue is I know she has issues with depression and I am pretty sure she has tried suicide at least once long before I was with her. We did split for a while 2 years ago when I cheated and I know she ended up in a mental hospitalfor 2 weeks. We reconciled but its just not working for me any more. What ever happens after I do end it will be on my conscience. How do I deal with that?
carhill Posted May 17, 2014 Posted May 17, 2014 One way to look at it is that she survived your period of cheating so it follows that she can survive a healthy breakup, considering she's had mental help and life growth in the interim. Regardless, IMO at some level it's unhealthy to go through life focused on other's feelings. We're all adults who put on the adult underwear each morning. Life isn't fair and sometimes it hurts bad. That's OK!
elseaacych Posted May 18, 2014 Posted May 18, 2014 This is coming from someone who was on the other side of a break up from someone with mental health issues. (Mentally ill person dumped me!) It's different shades of the same color of blue: you either feel bad because you couldn't handle their issues, or you couldn't do enough for them . You have got to treat it like it is any other relationship. You can't think of yourself like their "rock" or "the stable one in the relationship", even if you were. When you enter a committed relationship, you commit yourself to all of their quirks, you love them rain or shine. Mentally ill, physically ill, smoker, drinker, drug addict, neat freak. When someone in a relationship with someone else "mentally healthy", wants to break it off, they basically say "I don't want to deal with your issues anymore." Same principle here, it's kind of like breaking up with someone with a personality flaw you can't stand: like being unkind to animals. Her mental illness is one of her "quirks". Granted, it's a bigger quirk than most. But, if you know you can't be in a relationship with her, break up with her. Give her the chance to find someone who will be able to handle her "quirks", and you find someone who can handle yours. 1
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