BePositive87 Posted May 17, 2014 Posted May 17, 2014 Hi, I have recently been dating a guy I met online. He has been very honest with me about past relationships. He split from his ex 2 months ago. She cheated on him twice and became pregnant. I had a feeling that something wasn't 'right' and decided to do some 'investigating'. I found him and the ex on Instagram. She uploads new pictures daily and he 'likes' every single picture she puts up and always comments being nostalgic about their past relationship . I find this very odd, if my partner had cheated on me, TWICE, the last thing I would be doing would be viewing their profile on Facebook/Instagram and 'liking' pictures. I would cut all contact. From what I can gather, she had the baby a few months ago but have still continued to be in a relationship up until 2 months ago. This annoys me as in my opinion, this shows he just doesn't have any self respect, but I suppose everyone is different. She uploaded a picture a few days ago and he commented with "love you gorgeous" and other comments such as "you look amazing x x x x x x x". She doesn't seem to respond to them and being completely honest, it comes across as a bit desperate and cringeworthy!! I want to speak to him about this , to see actually what IS going on, but I don't know how to bring it up without admitting that I had done some research , cause I know I would come across as some kind of stalker., but I cannot continue to date him when he isn't over his ex. I am no ones rebound. It has even crossed my mind that he might not even in fact BE single. Thoughts??
Joaquin Posted May 17, 2014 Posted May 17, 2014 (edited) I think he is showing a lot of disrespect for you by saying those things to an ex, whatever the reason for their breakup and no matter how recent the breakup. Two months in I would be inclined to leave him and the ex to it. You don't want to get sucked into their drama. And as you say, your not there to be his rebound and he sounds far from being over her. One click of her fingers I think its a very good bet he would run back to her. I think you have this pegged and know what to do. Edited May 17, 2014 by Joaquin
Survivor12 Posted May 17, 2014 Posted May 17, 2014 Hi, I have recently been dating a guy I met online. He has been very honest with me about past relationships. He split from his ex 2 months ago. She cheated on him twice and became pregnant. I had a feeling that something wasn't 'right' and decided to do some 'investigating'. I found him and the ex on Instagram. She uploads new pictures daily and he 'likes' every single picture she puts up and always comments being nostalgic about their past relationship . I find this very odd, if my partner had cheated on me, TWICE, the last thing I would be doing would be viewing their profile on Facebook/Instagram and 'liking' pictures. I would cut all contact. From what I can gather, she had the baby a few months ago but have still continued to be in a relationship up until 2 months ago. This annoys me as in my opinion, this shows he just doesn't have any self respect, but I suppose everyone is different. She uploaded a picture a few days ago and he commented with "love you gorgeous" and other comments such as "you look amazing x x x x x x x". She doesn't seem to respond to them and being completely honest, it comes across as a bit desperate and cringeworthy!! I want to speak to him about this , to see actually what IS going on, but I don't know how to bring it up without admitting that I had done some research , cause I know I would come across as some kind of stalker., but I cannot continue to date him when he isn't over his ex. I am no ones rebound. It has even crossed my mind that he might not even in fact BE single. Thoughts?? How do you know he's been honest with you? He may have told you his version of past relationships, but it doesn't mean it's all true. It's obvious that there is still something going on with his ex. Whether or not it's one-sided, HE is still invested. Has there been a paternity test? It is quite possible that whether or not he knows it, that he is the father. Sorry, but this situation has red flags flying all over it. My advice is get out now before you get in any deeper.
ExpatInItaly Posted May 17, 2014 Posted May 17, 2014 I wouldn't even bother dating him anymore. There's really no point in speaking to him about it; it's quite obvious he's still got feelings for her. I'd end it and find someone else who is not in love with their ex.
stillafool Posted May 17, 2014 Posted May 17, 2014 Oh he definitely is not over her so break up with him now. It amazes me how some men cannot get over the "bad girl". The complain that women want Players yet they feel the same way about the bad girl. Just walk away you deserve someone who wants you and only you.
DArtagnan2 Posted May 17, 2014 Posted May 17, 2014 How do you bring it up without looking like a stalker? You can't. The only way you know he may not be over her or still be with her is by looking at the pictures. If you had a feeling something isn't right, then whatever happened at that time, you can talk to him about that. See what he says. You can even add him on instagram yourself thus giving you the avenue to see the pics he likes then bring it up. Or you can say nothing, tell him its not working out and walk away and find someone who is in to only you.
travelbug1996 Posted May 17, 2014 Posted May 17, 2014 Just stop dating him, the writing is on the wall. No need to confront him, just move on. He is a total waste of time. 1
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