April1990 Posted May 17, 2014 Posted May 17, 2014 Hi my name is April named after the month my mother was born is, I have fallen for this guy, or at least I think I have. I'm not sure. I don't like change nor separation, he makes me smile laugh and he makes me happy. But I often feel I'm the only one making an effort. He doesn't seem to care about my feelings and disregards them when we have arguments. He makes it sound like I don't deserve him as if he isn't good enough for me and I'm beginning to wonder if it's a tactic to make me leave. I don't know what he wants and I can't ask him he blows up in my face and it feels like everything I say/do pisses him off. A lot of people have been ditched and hurt before could this be happening to me? Should I leave? Also we have been dating for 4 years and engaged for 2 years and both our families know so its more than just me and him involved. Help I'm torn!!
J2911 Posted May 17, 2014 Posted May 17, 2014 Hi my name is April named after the month my mother was born is, I have fallen for this guy, or at least I think I have. I'm not sure. I don't like change nor separation, he makes me smile laugh and he makes me happy. But I often feel I'm the only one making an effort. He doesn't seem to care about my feelings and disregards them when we have arguments. He makes it sound like I don't deserve him as if he isn't good enough for me and I'm beginning to wonder if it's a tactic to make me leave. I don't know what he wants and I can't ask him he blows up in my face and it feels like everything I say/do pisses him off. A lot of people have been ditched and hurt before could this be happening to me? Should I leave? Also we have been dating for 4 years and engaged for 2 years and both our families know so its more than just me and him involved. Help I'm torn!! Hello , Sorry to hear you are hurting . Two things you wrote are very imperative for you to reread and think about : 1. You stated you dont like change or separation . 2. You stated that confronting and trying to talk to your bf makes him blow up in your face. This isn't good , darling . One can never stay in something that isn't healthy or right for reasons of not wanting change or fearing separation. Believe me, I'm sure we would all love to be in the perfect , flawless relationship but that isn't reality. If a relationship is one sided , abusive , unfullfilling , you have to end it or it will be a long life ahead of you in the same situation only worse . Do you want to continue that life ? If talking to your bf results in him blowing up then please understand that is not healthy for you . It's a warning sign for sure . A relationship that is healthy will withstand conversing about problems and finding solutions together and working towards that with an equal partnership and reevaluate to see if it works and if not then what else can we now try . My advice is to read over and over your post hear until it hits you and makes you think that you will be ok with changes and leaving a bad situation and work on being ok alone and find self worth to believe there are good men out there and you deserve to be with one . Good luck ....... Life always works out but you have to be ok with letting go so life can give you other opportunities
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