Ordinaryday Posted May 17, 2014 Posted May 17, 2014 I am an avid user of OkCupid, and I have noticed a strange thing on there. you can state in your profile what sort of relationship you are looking for (long term, short term, casual dating, etc) and one of the options is "just friends". I always laughed when I saw this because I thought going on a dating site looking for friends is like going to a brothel for a hug. but an insane amount of women select the looking for "just friends" option in their profile... I just don't get this! are these women really going on a dating site knowing full well that people go there looking to hook up and then claim "sorry, just want friends". or is it some kind of test to see if they can find the right guy and if they meet the wrong guy they figure it will be easier to reject him since they stated upfront "just friends". seriously... what gives?
johnpatric Posted May 17, 2014 Posted May 17, 2014 Yeah your idea is good but for that there are many social media sites are there for just friend where you can develop your friend circle.. but dating sites for those who are looking for partner and relationship so may be that's why your option "just Friend" is not suitable for them..
Author Ordinaryday Posted May 17, 2014 Author Posted May 17, 2014 Yeah your idea is good but for that there are many social media sites are there for just friend where you can develop your friend circle.. but dating sites for those who are looking for partner and relationship so may be that's why your option "just Friend" is not suitable for them.. sorry dude, I think you misread my post! I am NOT the one doing it, I am there for the reason of meeting a romantic partner. I am talking about women who sign up to a dating site... to look for new friends, I dont get this. as you said, there are heaps of social networking sites designed for the sole purpose of making new friends, they should not be on a dating site!
BlueIris Posted May 17, 2014 Posted May 17, 2014 (edited) Some people don’t (and can’t) form a romantic attachment to someone without really knowing him or her first- at least not a sincere attachment. They/we have to know, like and admire someone as a person before even feeling attracted. I’d be lying, or deluding myself, if I said I wanted a relationship with someone I really don’t know. Plus it weeds out the impulsive horndogs who don't have any depth and latch onto anyone cute who will respond to them. There are quite of few of those on OLD and you run into them early on. Those are a couple of reasons those women might be saying they want friendship first. Edited May 17, 2014 by BlueIris 3
carhill Posted May 17, 2014 Posted May 17, 2014 I look at it this way... I can't read their mind so accept their words. If I'm not interested in building friendships with strangers on a dating site, I move on to profiles which match up with my reasons for being there. It would be the same for 'casual dating'. Not interested in that either. Big world, lots of people, plenty of opportunities for matches. If they're not being forthright about their intentions, well I have no control over that either. Life's too short to worry about the machinations of other people's minds.
somedude81 Posted May 17, 2014 Posted May 17, 2014 My impression is that a woman who only checks "New Friends" is still looking to date, but she wants to do the friends first thing. Any person who truly wants just to meet new friends, should get the hell off the site.
Keenly Posted May 17, 2014 Posted May 17, 2014 Most of these girls looking for friends have the " seeing some one " box checked. Its a waste of everyone's time for their profile to even exist
carhill Posted May 17, 2014 Posted May 17, 2014 I view, or did view, dating sites a lot like the same dynamics here on this forum, which is divided into many differing areas. If a particular dating profile, like 'casual dating' or 'friends only' came into view, similar to a thread/forum on LS which is of no interest, I simply moved on to the next profile. If the site had sorting capabilities, then I could sort for excluding 'friends only' and would never even see those profiles. Think of it like LS's 'ignore list'. In recent times I've only used subscription sites so, hey, if a lady wants to pay to put up a 'friends only' profile, more power to her
Strength in Healing Posted May 17, 2014 Posted May 17, 2014 Its a waste of everyone's time for their profile to even exist Lmao. Pretty much okcupid and pof themselves are a waste of everyone's time to exist.. Alas, I believe the friends only thing is the default choice. If people make their profile without reading certain parts, that's what it ends up as by default. I had a profile once and it had that broadcasted because I didn't pay attention to that part when creating the profile cuz it was at the end.
BlueIris Posted May 17, 2014 Posted May 17, 2014 My impression is that a woman who only checks "New Friends" is still looking to date, but she wants to do the friends first thing. Any person who truly wants just to meet new friends, should get the hell off the site. LOL. Oh, man, if we could control who was allowed to be on OLD sites, and what other people do in general, think of all the requirements we might want to have: not serious, not capable, psychotic, married, dishonest, career criminals... you name it!
Eternal Sunshine Posted May 17, 2014 Posted May 17, 2014 I had friends box ticked and casual/serious dating too. I have made some good friends from the site. For me it means that if there is no romantic spark but we still get along well, I would like to be friends.
Keenly Posted May 17, 2014 Posted May 17, 2014 I had friends box ticked and casual/serious dating too. I have made some good friends from the site. For me it means that if there is no romantic spark but we still get along well, I would like to be friends. Having the friend box checked WITH the others might not qualify for what we are hating on. I think we are more referring to the girls who in the profile pit " I'm only in here for friends " and that's the ONLY reason they are on there. Don't worry ES, you already have the " I'm cool " backstage pass
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