BeCool1981 Posted May 17, 2014 Posted May 17, 2014 Hello all, So heres the deal, I meet this girl online and we spent 2 weeks chatting almost daily before i asked her out. We went on a date and it went really good, asked her to a second one, went really good too. said she really likes me and wants to keep dating me, we are both looking fro something long term and not a quick fling. Now we get to me asking her on a 3rd date, she says yep come over and we can watch a movie and snuggle up on the couch, however, 10 mins later she messages me back saying she had totally forgotten she had friends coming over to watch a show in their shared house but im still welcome to come over and hang with her and her friends. Now the BUT, i cant let anyone know we meet online and i wont be introduced as her boyfriend, she said she old fashioned and isnt ready to say that yet, I tell her thats fine and i understand, we get thru the night and once almost everyone is gone i head home with a hidden hug and quick kiss on the lips and a request for a message saying i got home safe. Now all this is good positive stuff so far, i asked her out again and she said she had plans to see friends but offered to bail on them as she sees them all the time, but seeing they had just returned form overseas i said go see them im off work for a few days we can catch up when your free. She said she would hit me up when she had a free hour or two, in the meantime ive sent her a few messages seeing how things where going, telling her about going ons in my day and asked her about if she was free on another day. None of this has been replied too, normally she would send me something 2-3 days but not a peep this time. Add to this that shes has still been checking into the dating site we meet on, so shes had atleast some free time to reply. So i guess what im trying to figure out is, have i missed the boat here and shes gotten a better offer. I really like this girl and would like to make her my girlfriend. And if i have missed the boat do i just go for one last attempt in the hope of something before its all lost?
Assasda Posted May 17, 2014 Posted May 17, 2014 Gotta lay off the girl for a while and let her come to you more. Cant be so needy for her attention every waking hour. You have a chance if you hold back and start living your own life 1
johnpatric Posted May 17, 2014 Posted May 17, 2014 Gotta lay off the girl for a while and let her come to you more. Cant be so needy for her attention every waking hour. You have a chance if you hold back and start living your own life ^^^ I agree, I think you have a chance but you have your own life just focus on that..
Author BeCool1981 Posted May 17, 2014 Author Posted May 17, 2014 I guess the issue is that i really cant read women, my last long term partner of 5 years that i lived with left me out of the blue with a phone call the night before she flew out for a holiday, so i sort have lost my trust in my intuition. plus i don't rate my looks as Brad Pitt material and you have to admit, theres alot of cut blokes out there that will happily say what ever to meet someone and i cant compete with that.
Potz4prez Posted May 17, 2014 Posted May 17, 2014 Boom. There's your problem. **** those Brad Pitt blokes. You're better than them... Or at least that's what your mindset should be.
Author BeCool1981 Posted May 17, 2014 Author Posted May 17, 2014 thanks so far. i might actually be better than alot of those brad pitt lookers, but i cant do the whole lying thing just to score. Last message i got from her was, "Dont worry about your impression's, your doing great so far, ill tell you if you do something i dont like, i dont know if you have noticed but im quite honest and straight forward, also blunt some times" but that was like 4 days ago now and i've probably sent 6 since then that just had random day to day stuff in them and 4 that had important info flight times, feeling and such. I am also the sort of guy that if i have done something wrong i need to apologize, even if it fixes nothing i don't hide from my mistakes or their consquences. So maybe i should just go say sorry for being over eager and walk away from it?
Survivor12 Posted May 17, 2014 Posted May 17, 2014 No! Don't dig the hole any deeper. It's obvious from her response that you had already put your insecurity on display even before sending repeated unanswered TMs that scream "Don't forget me--I'm desperate for your attention!" Apologizing will only make it worse. She may say that she's honest and straight-forward, but it doesn't mean it's true. If it were, she wouldn't have hidden the fact that you had dated from hr friends. Besides, even if she were, if she decides that she no longer wants to date you, she may not feel it necessary to hurt your feelings by telling you why. Back off. Do not contact her again. If she is interested in seeing you again, she will let you know, but I wouldn't count on it. Keep looking...and next time: don't ask for a scorecard about how you're doing, don't confess your insecurities, & don't smother her with constant contact. Just enjoy the time you spend together, get to know her, and let things develop before you allow yourself to get too invested.
Author BeCool1981 Posted May 17, 2014 Author Posted May 17, 2014 in my defense, she raised the issue of making a bad impression on me with all her recent partying and drinking. i just told her she hadn't and i was more worried i had.
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