Author ScottishGent Posted May 18, 2014 Author Posted May 18, 2014 (edited) Recently I asked for advice on this: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/477346-can-t-gauge-her-interest However recently........ She has sent me a few comments on Facebook that have concerned me. Is she just leading me on or does she really like? 'I said:So much for it being the hottest day of the year? The weather is stinking!! She said: Because I'm not with you Honestly did you not notice yesterday it was so warm because Hahah I said: Haha you bring the sunshine She said:I wouldn't say that.. More like you do In my heart' She has put.... ' She said: I just feel self conscious that I am upsetting people that I care about I said Dont be, you are such a lovely person, thats why you have a wide range of people around you , people dont want to be with horrible people!! She said: I don't care As long as I have you' Thanks everyone, I really appreciate it. L. Edited May 18, 2014 by ScottishGent Broken hyperlink.
Assasda Posted May 18, 2014 Posted May 18, 2014 When you guys makeout, let us know. Put she just seems ready to do your nails
DArtagnan2 Posted May 18, 2014 Posted May 18, 2014 Maybe I am confused or can only read English and not decode it for something else, but in reading what was written above, it doesn't appear she is in to you? In my heart, Warm days because of you, and so on.. Call me kooky or really out of the "what people say when they are in to you" but it seems she is in to you.
mammasita Posted May 18, 2014 Posted May 18, 2014 Look, Stop trying to gauge her interest and ask her out on a romantic date.....and say it's a romantic date so she knows exactly what it is. If she says yes, she's into you. If not you have your answer. 1
Assasda Posted May 18, 2014 Posted May 18, 2014 Youre so right mammasita. He's ready to just live on anything superficial and nothing real. I think the OP likes the space that he's in. A friend place, where he's close to her, but not romantic, but can have his ego stroked from time to ttime.
Author ScottishGent Posted May 18, 2014 Author Posted May 18, 2014 (edited) Youre so right mammasita. He's ready to just live on anything superficial and nothing real. I think the OP likes the space that he's in. A friend place, where he's close to her, but not romantic, but can have his ego stroked from time to ttime. I disagree here darling, I don't like the space I am in.... I have never been in a relationship before and never felt this in love and I suffer from confidence issues and scared of being hurt after witnessing my mother being abused verbally and physically during her marriage when I was a child. I don't have an ego, I want to be her, I want to take with her out and date and be able to speak to everyday, sex doesn't even come on my mind when I think about her as I just find her amazing to be with, I am just need to overcome my demons. I am taking her out for drinks on Wednesday. Edited May 18, 2014 by ScottishGent
Author ScottishGent Posted May 19, 2014 Author Posted May 19, 2014 (edited) Hi, I really liked this girl and we get on so well and we talk on Facebook all the time. I held her hand in a jokey way and she wasn't bothered, she lets me carry stuff for her. She has been really flirty on Facebook However.... I just found out SHE HAS A BOYFRIEND by doing some detective work on twitter. Why has she said never said this? Why has she met me for drinks? Why has she agreed to meet up again for drinks? I feel sick now as I would have never have went out with her otherwise, why would she bother with me when she has a boyfriend? Examples of facebook comments: 'I said:So much for it being the hottest day of the year? The weather is stinking!! She said: Because I'm not with you Honestly did you not notice yesterday it was so warm because Hahah I said: Haha you bring the sunshine She said:I wouldn't say that.. More like you do In my heart' She has put.... ' She said: I just feel self conscious that I am upsetting people that I care about I said Dont be, you are such a lovely person, thats why you have a wide range of people around you , people dont want to be with horrible people!! She said: I don't care As long as I have you (Why would she said this when she has a boyfriend?)' Thanks everyone, I really appreciate it. L. Edited May 19, 2014 by ScottishGent Grammar errors.
Quiet Storm Posted May 19, 2014 Posted May 19, 2014 Girls like this usually do it for attention. It doesn't matter why, though. You don't want a girl that does things like this behind her boyfriends back. She's not considerate of either guys feelings. Selfish. I think you should just move on, forget her. At the very least, do not allow yourself to get emotionally invested.
Potz4prez Posted May 19, 2014 Posted May 19, 2014 Cut contact and move the **** on, Scottish. There are girls that will date you out there. You just need to get out there and meet them.
Author ScottishGent Posted May 23, 2014 Author Posted May 23, 2014 (edited) I told this girl I like her in the university classroom in a quiet corner. She said that she 'Well I don't love you' and then starting giggling and laughing about me in the room with her friends. She has deleted some of my facebook comments just about music. I have know her for about a month, I went to birthday nightout and bought her present, I traveled all the way home and put her in bed when she wasn't feeling well I work, I have bought her lunch and I went to a shisha bar at night. So I don't know why she would be this way? I would avoid her completely however I work with now and again. What do I do? I don't even want to go to university or work anymore, I am very sensitive unfortunately and it has made me feel really low and hurt. As I did like her alot. I feel like I might to do something stupid to myself, should I seek medical help or just think positive thoughts? Thank you, L. Edited May 23, 2014 by ScottishGent
Hopeful30 Posted May 23, 2014 Posted May 23, 2014 First of all, don't let ONE bad experience set the tone for your entire dating life. Some women are mean like that, others aren't. Don't take her behaviour as a reflection of YOU. What she did has nothing to do with you, how good you are, what you look like etc. It was her OWN PERSONAL REACTION to such a situation, and she would do that to any other guy who said the same thing. So please, don't be hard on yourself. This literally has nothing to do with you. She decided to be mean then let her be mean. It says more about her than about you.
Potz4prez Posted May 23, 2014 Posted May 23, 2014 (edited) As far as the girl goes, I thought we had agreed that you were going to forget about her? Cut contact. She's a terrible person, and you do not deserve to be treated that way. THIS concerns me: I feel like I might to do something stupid to myself, should I seek medical help or just think positive thoughts? Thank you, L. L, If you find yourself thinking suicidal thoughts, there are services you can reach out to at any time: 1-800-273-TALK (8255). In addition, I'm sure your university has crisis counseling available. Even if you think you're fine, please let someone close to you know how you're feeling and please consider seeing a therapist. A psychiatrist or your GP can prescribe antidepressants if needed. - B. Edited May 23, 2014 by Potz4prez 1
d0nnivain Posted May 23, 2014 Posted May 23, 2014 Hugs. I'm sorry you got hurt but that is no reason to give up on love completely. You did a lot of things right. The part I would have suggested you do differently is the reveal. You told her you like her in a public place. Those sorts of declarations never work out. Don't do that again. The next time you fancy a girl, before declaring that you like hern ask her out on a date. At the very least ask her to study with you. Also avoid doing this in front of an audience of her friends. Young girls are often immature. That's not a mean spirited put down; it's simply a fact. I was a clueless dimwad in college. The giggling you described coupled with her response about not loving you makes me think she has some growing up to do too. Instead of hiding, pat yourself on the back. You did something very BRAVE. You put it out there. You took a risk. You saw someone you wanted and you tried to get her. Yeah, it didn't work out but you had the courage to try. For now -- fake it 'til you make it. Act like her rejection didn't bother you. Go to class. Live your life. Move on to the next girl.
Taramere Posted May 23, 2014 Posted May 23, 2014 I told this girl I like her in the university classroom in a quiet corner. She said that she 'Well I don't love you' and then starting giggling and laughing about me in the room with her friends. She has deleted some of my facebook comments just about music. I have know her for about a month, I went to birthday nightout and bought her present, I traveled all the way home and put her in bed when she wasn't feeling well I work, I have bought her lunch and I went to a shisha bar at night. So I don't know why she would be this way? I would avoid her completely however I work with now and again. What do I do? Be polite but off hand. Keep any contact you have to have with her minimal. I don't even want to go to university or work anymore, I am very sensitive unfortunately and it has made me feel really low and hurt. As I did like her alot. I feel like I might to do something stupid to myself, should I seek medical help or just think positive thoughts? Make an appointment with your GP on Monday to discuss the thoughts you've been having. In the meantime, if you need to talk to somebody urgently give the Samaritans a call. I'm assuming from the username that you're a fellow Scot (welcome!) so this should be the right link... Samaritans' work in Scotland | Samaritans Sadly, you evidently picked the wrong girl to take a liking to. She sounds crass and unkind, and as a sensitive person you're naturally upset about her reaction. If it's really hard for you to stop dwelling on it, then it might be that you need some counselling that will assist you to find ways of pulling yourself away from dwelling on the negative. You might find this useful to read, as a brief intro to what you could expect from cognitive behavioural therapy. Cognitive behavioural therapy - NHS Choices Meantime.... http://www.hdwallpapersarena.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/Happy-Hug-day-2013-Facebook-Timeline-covers-HD-wallpapers-Images-and-pictures12.jpg You're not alone in having these thoughts of doing something silly. Lots of people go through stages of feeling that way and, with help, come out of it as stronger people with a level of insight that can help them to accomplish many positive things.
dispatch3d Posted May 24, 2014 Posted May 24, 2014 ugh this thread. if you like a girl romantically, and only have a romantic interest in her frankly, ASK HER OUT. In the long run its a lot less painful than this semi friend thing you put yourself through. Furthermore a lot of hot girls make good friends. This girl appears to make a ****ty friend, so I have no idea why you would want to keep her around at all. But hey, this has been pointed out to you multiple times. Like if I met this girl I would casually invite her to events that a lot of people were going to or I wanted a lot of people to go to. I wouldn't invite her to small friend gatherings, try to pursue her romantically, or even make her a priority invite because she isn't worth the time and effort.....
Moe'sTavern Posted May 25, 2014 Posted May 25, 2014 Good god this thread was depressing to read. As for what you should do, I'd say just go to a bar, get a bit drunk and find some chick to hook up with for the night. The rest will sort itself out.
Recommended Posts