ScottishGent Posted May 15, 2014 Posted May 15, 2014 (edited) Hi everyone, I met this girl about a month ago that I really do have feelings for. We have got on so well and we chat alot by text and facebook. However the problem is she is always late or she cancels on me at the last minute. She invited me to her birthday party and she was two hours late and she referred to me as her 'best geek friend' to her friends which I wasn't happy about but laughed it off. I have asked her to come out for drinks with me and she has cancelled on me three times, last Friday, yesterday and today about half an hour ago. I am so upset as I really like her and I want to prove that I am a nice guy and interested in her and I feel I can treat her right. But I feel she is just mucking me about. Should I bother with her anymore? If you could help, it would be so much appreciated. L. Edited May 15, 2014 by ScottishGent Grammar errors.
BlueIris Posted May 15, 2014 Posted May 15, 2014 I wouldn't bother with her any more. It doesn't sound as though she has the same kinds of feelings for you that you have for her. "best geek friend"? late? cancels? pfft. I wouldn't even want a friend like that. At best she's unreliable. More likely, she disrespectful and uncaring. 4
PegNosePete Posted May 15, 2014 Posted May 15, 2014 Hell no. She clearly has no interest in you romantically. She referred to you as a friend and does not prioritize spending time with you. NEXT. 1
Potz4prez Posted May 15, 2014 Posted May 15, 2014 Sounds like you never clearly asked her out and are wading in the friendzone. Just move on, buddy. Find a girl who's interested in you and make it clear that you want to date her.
Author ScottishGent Posted May 15, 2014 Author Posted May 15, 2014 Thank you so much BlueIris. My family members have said the same but it's nice to hear it from someone mutual. It's just hard as I really like her but I do get the feeling as you said she doesn't feel the same. It just angers me as I find it quite rude as I was about to leave to meet her and got all dressed and she texted me to cancel. I got her present for her birthday and she didnt even say she liked it until three days her birthday. I guess there is more fish in the sea?
Author ScottishGent Posted May 15, 2014 Author Posted May 15, 2014 Thanks Pete and Potz. I will be moving on for sure, it is hard as I like the girl but there is more fish in the sea I guess guys....
mtber75 Posted May 15, 2014 Posted May 15, 2014 You already been friendzoned! You have to let her see you as an romantic partner not just another geek friend. You can't be clingy (Don't answer her every time). Or just plain out say to her that you want to take her out on a date.
mammasita Posted May 15, 2014 Posted May 15, 2014 She doesnt take you seriously and has other options. Move on. 1
soccerrprp Posted May 15, 2014 Posted May 15, 2014 Hi everyone, I met this girl about a month ago that I really do have feelings for. We have got on so well and we chat alot by text and facebook. However the problem is she is always late or she cancels on me at the last minute. She invited me to her birthday party and she was two hours late and she referred to me as her 'best geek friend' to her friends which I wasn't happy about but laughed it off. I have asked her to come out for drinks with me and she has cancelled on me three times, last Friday, yesterday and today about half an hour ago. I am so upset as I really like her and I want to prove that I am a nice guy and interested in her and I feel I can treat her right. But I feel she is just mucking me about. Should I bother with her anymore? If you could help, it would be so much appreciated. L. It sounds like you've already been friend-zoned. I doubt you are her type (for romance). Good luck.
starla33 Posted May 15, 2014 Posted May 15, 2014 Just move on. If someone calls you a friend in that way that means they don't see you as anything other than that.
BlueIris Posted May 16, 2014 Posted May 16, 2014 (edited) You're right- there are many fish in the sea. You got her a gift... so kind... Oh, some deserving gal is going to be lucky to meet you one day. Edited May 16, 2014 by BlueIris
Author ScottishGent Posted May 16, 2014 Author Posted May 16, 2014 (edited) Hi everyone, I met this girl about a month ago that I really do have feelings for. We have got on so well and we chat alot by text and facebook. She has been late and has cancelled on me at the last minute. She invited me to her birthday party and she was two hours late and she referred to me as her 'best geek friend' to her friends which I wasn't happy about but laughed it off. I have asked her to come out for drinks with me and she has cancelled on me three times, last Friday, Wednesday and Thursday about half an hour ago. I was so upset as I really like her and I want to prove that I am a nice guy and interested in her and I feel I can treat her right. However...... I met her today at college and she did the following things - She said in chat that she said 'i have a lot of love for you and make me laugh' - I held her hand in a jokey way and she wasn't bothered and she let me hold her hand - She let me hold her gym bag for her - She posted this on facebook 'There's just something in my mind and that is ... you. But I am a shadow. And you can't see a shadow in the dark ... ' and said to me in person 'it could be about you, it might not' - She let me cuddle her goodbye - She wants to me up for drinks next week Is she interest in me romantically? I can't gauge her interest people!! If you could help, it would be so much appreciated. L. Edited May 16, 2014 by ScottishGent Grammar errors.
Assasda Posted May 16, 2014 Posted May 16, 2014 This is so sad man. I think everyone sees this but you. Why do you need validation from women? Why? Why do you want to impress her? Why? Dude, you are basically her gay best friend, which means, she has no romantic interest in you what-so-ever. You sir are friendzoned. I thought you were trolling when I saw these: - She said in chat that she said 'i have a lot of love for you and make me laugh' - I held her hand in a jokey way and she wasn't bothered and she let me hold her hand - She let me hold her gym bag for her - She posted this on facebook 'There's just something in my mind and that is ... you. But I am a shadow. And you can't see a shadow in the dark ... ' and said to me in person 'it could be about you, it might not' - She let me cuddle her goodbye - She wants to me up for drinks next week Please man, just move on 2
Author ScottishGent Posted May 16, 2014 Author Posted May 16, 2014 Okay that is fine, thanks for your opinion. I am not trolling haha, I really really like her which is the sad thing :(.
Potz4prez Posted May 16, 2014 Posted May 16, 2014 Cut ties completely - you're just wasting your time and potential pining over this girl you can't have. Go hit punching bag, jog, whatever you need to do. Accept that it's over. Think of it as a learning experience. Don't make the same mistakes with the next girl you meet.
Author ScottishGent Posted May 16, 2014 Author Posted May 16, 2014 Cut ties completely - you're just wasting your time and potential pining over this girl you can't have. Go hit punching bag, jog, whatever you need to do. Accept that it's over. Think of it as a learning experience. Don't make the same mistakes with the next girl you meet. What mistakes did I make?
milanlover Posted May 16, 2014 Posted May 16, 2014 Nothing!! She is just not into you!! She is keeping you around and based on her status she definitely has a crush already!! And as a girl, i totally understand. Sorry man, but you should move on! And man up!! Don't let a girl let you in that kind of position!! Hold her gym bag?? What the hell man!!
BlueIris Posted May 17, 2014 Posted May 17, 2014 Her interest shouldn't determine whether to continue. The way someone treats you should be the basis. She has treated you rudely and dismissively and now is using the "I'm broken, feel sorry for me" ("I'm a shadow") ploy. There are both men and women who use this poor-me ploy to hold on to someone. Blech. Try your best to really really see her clearly. Oh, and, when you say you like her (despite how she acts), aren't you really saying that you find her attractive, but are not happy with her behavior? There's a big distinction there. Don't be someone's yo-yo. No matter how physically attractive that person is.
joystickd Posted May 17, 2014 Posted May 17, 2014 Move on and find someone interested in you in something more than being a male girlfriend.
MrMeh Posted May 17, 2014 Posted May 17, 2014 She let you carry her gym bag! She obviously wants the D!
cshim Posted May 17, 2014 Posted May 17, 2014 Honestly, I'd say go out for drinks. Don't work up your expectations but people usually let their guard down after boozing a bit. If she's still ****ing around with you, cut your losses and move on. If there's genuine interest, I'd say good for you but keep all possibilities in perspective.
Phoe Posted May 17, 2014 Posted May 17, 2014 I may be the odd one out, but it sounds to me as though she likes you. There's no way I'd be that affectionate with anyone unless I liked them.
Assasda Posted May 17, 2014 Posted May 17, 2014 (edited) ^ You are the odd one out. What you did wrong, is that you are seeking validation from her. You want her to validate if you are happy or not, and you dont care how she treats you. And in turn she doesnt respect you, because you dont respect yourself You are also super needy, and have to work that out. As some of the people say on here, do something to better yourself, and maybe you wont need women for validation Edited May 17, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator removed comment to spammer
Author ScottishGent Posted May 18, 2014 Author Posted May 18, 2014 An update for you all, She has sent me a few comments on Facebook that have concerned me. Is she just leading me on or does she really like? 'I said:So much for it being the hottest day of the year? The weather is stinking!! She said: Because I'm not with you Honestly did you not notice yesterday it was so warm because Hahah I said: Haha you bring the sunshine She said:I wouldn't say that.. More like you do In my heart' She has put.... ' She said: I just feel self conscious that I am upsetting people that I care about I said Dont be, you are such a lovely person, thats why you have a wide range of people around you , people dont want to be with horrible people!! She said: I don't care As long as I have you' Thanks everyone, I really appreciate it. L
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