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Do guys respect women who refuse to sleep with them immediately?

rodawaybecky

By rodawaybecky
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rodawaybecky Member

rodawaybecky

Posted
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Iv been talking to this guy on and off for a few weeks now and only recently has it become more intense. He texts me more often, initiating contact which was rare, he calls me and stays up until all hours on the phone until I tell him I have to go. He remembers stuff I tell him, he's asked me out to a few places and so on.

 

The only problem is that he ruins it by sometimes asking me when i'm gonna come round to his house, or whether I could "help him out with certain needs" I told him straight up I'm not the kind of girl who puts out for the sake of it and it's not going to happen anytime soon.

 

Is he just trying to be cheeky and push his luck or is sex his only agenda?

  • Like 1
Chi townD Established Member

Chi townD

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He's a guy. Sex is ALWAYS on the agenda whether he's a nice guy or a bad boy. Whether he's a nerd or a jock. Yep! Sex is on the agenda.

 

You have to understand. We spent nine months trying to get out of a womb and the rest of our lives trying to get back into one!

 

Now, that being said. If he's really into you and really is cares about you, then he'll respect your wishes and he'll wait until you're ready. But, you have to communicate this to him on a serious level. If he's legit, he'll wait. BUT!! Don't get mad if a guy tries every once in a while. We are guys afterall!

  • Like 12
RemainUnchanged Member

RemainUnchanged

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could be either..

 

 

be advised though, he could dump you immediately after getting what he wants.. a sort of "on to the next one" sort of thing.

 

 

typical male conquest

  • Like 1
Koopa Established Member

Koopa

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Its quite the opposite actually, girls that give it up easy get very little respect and just become a booty call. Its the girl you have to work for that gets respect and becomes potential girlfriend/relationship/marriage material.

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Grumpybutfun Established Member

Grumpybutfun

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If it makes you feel uncomfortable, let him know. Yes, men will try to have sex with you...it is a component of our biological urges. Just place boundaries and if he is interested in more long term, he will respect that. If he isn't, at least you will know if you tell him your boundaries and he keeps trying to cross them. In that case, just move on.

Best,

Grumps

  • Like 2
somedude81 Established Member

somedude81

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A guy is more likely NOT TO RESPECT YOU if you have sex with him too soon.

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awesome0 Member

awesome0

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My last ex made me wait for it and I did, and it ultimately did make me respect her and want her even more, which ultimately was unwarranted because she appears to be a liar and sociopath in my eyes now. And come to think of it when she tries to come back down the road I will take pleasure in telling her I have no respect for now. Didn't mean to get a little off topic there

Anela Established Member

Anela

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A guy is more likely NOT TO RESPECT YOU if you have sex with him too soon.

 

That makes no sense. Hypocrites.

  • Like 4
stillafool Established Member

stillafool

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Considering that all he talks about is sex I think that's all he wants. Don't be surprised if you sleep with him he will run.

  • Like 3
Keenly Established Member

Keenly

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That makes no sense. Hypocrites.

 

Because women don't ever do anything irrational or hypocritical, right ?

 

 

 

Its a tough call. Some guys will respect it. Some guys will just hop on the next train .

 

 

If in use myself as an example, I don't want anything sexual until I get comfortable, but sometimes mutual comfort can come pretty quickly.

 

If she told me she wanted to wait when the subject came up, I'd respect it. Of she just shouted out " we are not having sex " for no reason, I'd be really put off.

 

 

Maybe my brain is just hung up on the word " refuse " .

 

 

Also, even the nicest guys can get really turned on by non sexual things.

 

Today I was complimented on something completely non sexual by the girl I'm talking to and it made me REALLY horny... which sucked because I'm just sitting here at work. Point being sometimes when a guy really starts to like your personality, and if he can feel that admiration being returned in kind, its going to make him want to try to get some.

Anela Established Member

Anela

Posted
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Because women don't ever do anything irrational or hypocritical, right ?

 

I didn't say that. It tends to come from the men who have trouble dating in the first place.

Keenly Established Member

Keenly

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I didn't say that. It tends to come from the men who have trouble dating in the first place.

 

Oh. Whoops.

 

 

Wait a second... I'm not sure I'm following...

The ones with the trouble dating say they would have more respect for the girl that waits, they are hypocrites?

 

 

How so?

Phoe Established Member

Phoe

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I'd say that in most cases, waiting to have sex is always a good choice. It's more likely to be seen as respectable, and will also help to avoid those who are only looking for sex.

 

There will be exceptions, of course, but I personally have had good luck with choosing to wait.

  • Like 1
joystickd Established Member

joystickd

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I didn't say that. It tends to come from the men who have trouble dating in the first place.

 

You said it.

joystickd Established Member

joystickd

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If a guy likes you he likes you and having sex quick won't change that.

  • Like 3
somedude81 Established Member

somedude81

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That makes no sense. Hypocrites.

 

Yes it's very hypocritical.

 

I had a stern discussion with a guy who said that he felt he lost respect with a girl because she had sex with him on the first date, even though he was trying to get her to have sex with him. He said that it was his job to push for sex, and it was her job to say no.

 

Personally, I would never lose respect for a woman because she slept with me. Nor would I try rush sex.

 

Women do need to be aware of the dangers of having sex too soon.

  • Like 4
luvshaq Member

luvshaq

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Some guys will respect your ability to say no as long as you're not saying no to them. Honestly, if a guy expects a woman to put out immediately in a relationship, he shouldn't expect her to remain loyal or faithful in the long run.

  • Like 3
aussietigerwolf Established Member

aussietigerwolf

Posted
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I had a stern discussion with a guy who said that he felt he lost respect with a girl because she had sex with him on the first date, even though he was trying to get her to have sex with him. He said that it was his job to push for sex, and it was her job to say no.

 

 

two ways that can turn out though, 1. she gives into his pressure and fails his test or 2. she tells him to get lost because he isn't respecting her by pushing even though she's said no.

somedude81 Established Member

somedude81

Posted
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two ways that can turn out though, 1. she gives into his pressure and fails his test or 2. she tells him to get lost because he isn't respecting her by pushing even though she's said no.

 

Choice 1 is the worst thing. Though how come you didn't mention her saying "Not yet."

 

Choice 3, not having sex till she is ready is the best option.

 

BTW, I don't think I used the right word when I said push for sex.

 

There are guys who have sex very early on with girls, and aren't pushy, but they still try for sex.

 

It seems retarded to me for a guy to try to have sex with a girl, when he knows that he will lose respect for her if she does what he wants.

 

And yes, many guys keep trying after she says no. If a guy keeps trying after a girl says no, then she gives in, and he ends up losing respect for her because she gave in, then that guy is scum.

  • Like 1
Leigh 87 Established Member

Leigh 87

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I slept with my bf a week after our first date.

 

It was too difficult to be together and NOT have sex. It would have been a right pain to have to ignore our urges for weeks.

 

He did say that having sex on the first date "would have been a bit much" lol.

 

we did talk online for weeks before our first date if that makes the second date sex better.

Omei Established Member

Omei

Posted
Posted (edited)

I talked to a guy like this, I thought he liked me..

 

My question is have you already told him its making you feel uncomfortable?

 

I talked to a guy I knew I was interested in for weeks we talked about so many things and like you I too explained that im not that type of girl I dont get sexual until its serious, and he ignored it one day I flat out said NO and I was sick of the pressure our blosseming friendship ended right there he never contacted me again.

 

If you have already explained to him and hes still trying to convince you to give it up rather than taking it the direction you would like it to go I would just forget it him.

 

I even remember him using this line " I just want to experience this with you even if its just within a friendship it will be beautiful, you're beautiful it will bring us closer" blaaaa blaaa blaaa

So many times I so clearly told him how a guy can get my interest he ignored it.

Edited by Omei
  • Like 2
GoreSP Established Member

GoreSP

Posted
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How about you lose respect for hin cause he is such a douchebag.

 

You having sex ir not shouldn't affect how he 'respects' you and a real good guy will respect what you decide to do with your own reproductive system

  • Like 2
dragon_fly_7 Established Member

dragon_fly_7

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Not interested in pump and dumpers who think only the woman is suppose to have sexual values, that only the woman is suppose to be the moral compass.

 

So he fails miserably with me. If he keeps insists, that tells me what he represents himself as. Bye Bye

  • Like 3
bene Established Member

bene

Posted
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I think a woman should set boundaries what is comfortable and acceptable for her. Sex shouldn't be a commodity, something to trade against commitment, but you have to look after your own well being.

 

If you feel like having sex first early when you don't know anything about the guy and you are prepared that he might not be interested in anything further, go ahead.

 

If you know that having just sex for the sake of sex is not for you and you need to get to know the guy first, then wait.

 

That said, it's completely normal that sex is on the guy's mind. For me the wording of "help him out with certain needs" is off putting. It doesn't sound like he wants to have sex with you but rather satisfy his own need. It's semantics, but I find it important.

  • Like 1
d3sigN8t3dDruNk Member

d3sigN8t3dDruNk

Posted
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Guys who respect the womans wishes to wait, usually don't end up waiting as long as they think. Most Girls like that.

  • Like 2
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