rebelrebel Posted February 9, 2005 Posted February 9, 2005 When I was 18 I started seeing a girl. She was my first girlfriend and I loved her very much although it is always difficult to judge how much you really like someone if you have no other relationship to ‘compare’ it with. We dated for just under 3 months before we broke up due to factors out of our control – not because we didn’t like each other. We remained very good friends. Nearly two years passed before I was over this girl - presumably this was when I started seeing my next girlfriend in my second year of university. We dated for 3 months, the last two of which were a little shaky and complicated. At the time I thought I loved this girl very, very much and she was my first sexual partner. After the last very shaky month she broke up with me, I was unbelievably heartbroken at first but got over her surprisingly quickly as I had spent so long getting over my first girlfriend. Very soon after I started speaking to my first girlfriend on a regular basis. She had been seeing a guy for 20 month who she very much loved but had tried to split up with only to be lured back into the relationship through guilt. One day she told me that she still liked me, I was quite shocked at first as I had only just accepted that we were good friends and nothing more. We flirted a lot over text and over the phone. Eventually I invited her up to my house at university for the weekend. We had a brilliant time as friends but the first night we got a little close and began kissing etc. We ended up in the same bed but did not sleep together as both of use decided that it would be wrong. Over the weekend we grew irresistibly close to each other and on the second night couldn’t control ourselves and ended up sleeping together. Neither of us had any ounce of regret but she felt slightly guilty because of her boyfriend at home. We both told each other how much we loved each other and both admitted that we had always had a lust for one another. She told me that had things out of our control not happened when we were dating she could see us still being together now. We both felt incredibly comfortable with each other unlike anything else either of us had ever felt. We even spoke of spending our futures together. This came as a bit of shock to us both and to many may sound a little hasty. I never ever thought or wished I would be feeling this way towards someone at such a young age. We have both given long intelligent thought as to how we feel about each other and we both agree it is something very special as we feel so, so comfortable in each others company and we have some sort of history together. Now that she is back at home we miss each other very much. She is still with her boyfriend. Before any of this happened she had been thinking of moving to my university after school but had then changed her mind to follow another career path. Even if I stayed on at uni for an extra year and she did come up, we would only spend a year together. I have seriously considered scrapping / delaying my post graduate career plans in order to be with her – something I never ever saw myself contemplating as I am very career-minded. I am left not knowing how to feel about any of this. I am tempted to let it all go and have told her that if she still loves her boyfriend she should do what’s best and stay with him. However she has told me that although she loves him she loves me in a very different way. She finds it very difficult to break up with her boyfriends. We speak regularly and both see each other being together in the future no matter what.
Pocky Posted February 9, 2005 Posted February 9, 2005 Honestly, there's really no much you can do until she leaves her boyfriend. Until that, I don't see how you can be sure that she really values the possibility of a relationship with you as much as you do.
Author rebelrebel Posted February 10, 2005 Author Posted February 10, 2005 That's very true but what we have seems so special and we both know it. It's absolutely unlike anything we've felt before. She's had a bad time with guys and finds it very, very difficult to break up with them but I know she wants to very much. She has blatently told me that she loves BOTH of us. As weird as this sounds I am fully of the opinion that it IS perfectly possible to love two people at once. It's probably a question of who does she REALLY like more. I can see what you mean though.
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