DrivetheTran Posted May 16, 2014 Posted May 16, 2014 (edited) It has been a month since my girlfriend and I have broken up. We've been together since we were sixteen, and we're twenty now. We did have a rough start because her parents were real strict and didn't allow us to hang out very often, but we always made due with what we got. Recently for the past few months, I was kind of stressed and I didn't get to see her very often, so I started bad mouthing her and I made a huge mistake and cheated on her. I felt terrible, but I could not tell her because I really did not want to lose. I eventually told her a year later and she sort of forgave me for it, but I kept pushing and wanted to get her trust back. A few months went by, she kept telling me there was some guy that kept trying to hit on her, so every time she disappeared I suddenly assumed she was with him. She's been with me through my lowest points and at my highest points. I love her with all my heart and I know deep that she's the one for me. I know she's always felt that way about me as well, but I'm not sure if she feels that way about me anymore. During those months, I kind of felt an emotional disconnect from her and I was kind of afraid to confront it because I did not want to lose her. She had taken me to her organization's banquet and I was just talking to her, but she kind of ignored me and just kept texting her friend or whatever. Eventually towards the end of the night, we were walking to my car and I was driving home with her. When I reached over to hold her hand, she kind of held my hand, but it was an empty feeling and she didn't squeeze it like she usually does. When that happened, I kind of just lost it and told her fine, don't hold my hand and stuff. She eventually started saying some stuff about not wanting to be with me anymore and stuff because I was an *******. I told her fine, then we're over because that's what you always wanted isn't it? And that was the end of it. I saw her the next day though, and we made passionate love to each other (we're both each other's first). After that, she told me that having sex with me didn't mean that we were going to get back together. A few days later, she had gone to volunteer with me and we were talking like normal until she told me that she had already gotten offers the day after we broke up of guys asking to take her out. She told me that she had rejected them saying that it was a bad weekend. When she told me that my heart just dropped, I love this girl to the ends of world and it pains me to see her with anyone else. After volunteering with me, she started making out with me at my house and said that she really misses me and all this stuff and that she wishes the bad between us wouldn't have happened. Later that night, I just lost it because my mind kept telling me that was going to be with someone else, so I ended up showing up at her house and begging for her back. We had an argument and she said that she needed space from and stuff. She said that if I had given her space like I was supposed to when I dropped her off after volunteering that she would have eventually gone back to me a few months later. I really honestly wish she would have told me that because I would have given her the space she needed because I really want her in my life. I've been trying to do no contact with her, but it's so difficult because I believe that if I don't text her she will move on or believe that I have moved on and won't want me in her life ever again. We had just texted and she told me that she is considering getting back with me, but it will be years from now and that she won't reply to my texts anymore until she is ready. What do you guys think? Will she return to me? Or should I move on and find someone that will complete me as she did? Edited May 16, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Author DrivetheTran Posted May 16, 2014 Author Posted May 16, 2014 Overview: It has been a month since my girlfriend and I have broken up. We've been together since we were sixteen, and we're twenty now. We did have a rough start because her parents were real strict and didn't allow us to hang out very often, but we always made due with what we got. Cause: Recently for the past few months, I was kind of stressed and I didn't get to see her very often, so I started bad mouthing her and I made a huge mistake and cheated on her. I felt terrible, but I could not tell her because I really did not want to lose. I eventually told her a year later and she sort of forgave me for it, but I kept pushing and wanted to get her trust back. A few months went by, she kept telling me there was some guy that kept trying to hit on her, so every time she disappeared I suddenly assumed she was with him. She's been with me through my lowest points and at my highest points. I love her with all my heart and I know deep that she's the one for me. I know she's always felt that way about me as well, but I'm not sure if she feels that way about me anymore. During those months, I kind of felt an emotional disconnect from her and I was kind of afraid to confront it because I did not want to lose her. Breakup: She had taken me to her organization's banquet and I was just talking to her, but she kind of ignored me and just kept texting her friend or whatever. Eventually towards the end of the night, we were walking to my car and I was driving home with her. When I reached over to hold her hand, she kind of held my hand, but it was an empty feeling and she didn't squeeze it like she usually does. When that happened, I kind of just lost it and told her fine, don't hold my hand and stuff. She eventually started saying some stuff about not wanting to be with me anymore and stuff because I was an ashole. I told her fine, then we're over because that's what you always wanted isn't it? And that was the end of it. After break up: I saw her the next day though, and we made passionate love to each other (we're both each other's first). After that, she told me that having sex with me didn't mean that we were going to get back together. A few days later, she had gone to volunteer with me and we were talking like normal until she told me that she had already gotten offers the day after we broke up of guys asking to take her out. She told me that she had rejected them saying that it was a bad weekend. When she told me that my heart just dropped, I love this girl to the ends of world and it pains me to see her with anyone else. After volunteering with me, she started making out with me at my house and said that she really misses me and all this stuff and that she wishes the bad between us wouldn't have happened. Later that night, I just lost it because my mind kept telling me that was going to be with someone else, so I ended up showing up at her house and begging for her back. We had an argument and she said that she needed space from and stuff. She said that if I had given her space like I was supposed to when I dropped her off after volunteering that she would have eventually gone back to me a few months later. I really honestly wish she would have told me that because I would have given her the space she needed because I really want her in my life. I've been trying to do no contact with her, but it's so difficult because I believe that if I don't text her she will move on or believe that I have moved on and won't want me in her life ever again. We had just texted and she told me that she is considering getting back with me, but it will be years from now and that she won't reply to my texts anymore until she is ready. What do you guys think? Will she return to me? Or should I move on and find someone that will complete me as she did?
Author DrivetheTran Posted May 16, 2014 Author Posted May 16, 2014 Couldn't edit the post, so I reposted, sorry.
Salvatore85 Posted May 16, 2014 Posted May 16, 2014 Dude you cheated. I understand you love her but odds are she doesn't trust you at all and more than likely thinks about it a lot more than you think... Give her space and focus on yourself or you're going to lose her forever. When she's ready she'll contact you and if she doesn't you've now learned a valuable lesson you can carry on to your next relationship.
Author DrivetheTran Posted May 16, 2014 Author Posted May 16, 2014 It's difficult giving her space, she's been my only friend for four years. Sometimes I feel like she doesn't want me as a part of her life anymore. This is so difficult.
Salvatore85 Posted May 16, 2014 Posted May 16, 2014 It's difficult giving her space, she's been my only friend for four years. Sometimes I feel like she doesn't want me as a part of her life anymore. This is so difficult. My ex was my best friend for 5 years and I went no contact for over a year. It's difficult but it's the only way things are going to work for you. Take it from someone who's got their ex back before, begging and pleading wasn't how.
greenbee81 Posted May 16, 2014 Posted May 16, 2014 Sorry, but I would work on yourself first and maybe focus on a career instead of serious relationship at your age. Love will come and go.
Author DrivetheTran Posted May 16, 2014 Author Posted May 16, 2014 I've been trying to focus on myself, I went out with friends this past weekend, but it just doesn't feel right. I started working out to focus on myself, but I just can't get over the feeling of losing her for good. I just feel like an empty shell without her. I feel so unmotivated to do anything. It's just a sinking feeling in my heart that won't go away, as much as I try.
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