TepiMonster Posted May 15, 2014 Posted May 15, 2014 I'm kind of a socially awkward guy and I met my girlfriend when I was 18 in college, she is my first real girlfriend, I'm not her first real boyfriend. She is the same age as me and we really hit it off. She is really nerdy and into all the same nerdy stuff as me (video games, youtube, Sci-fi). 3 years down the line we decide we are that into each other we want to take the next step and buy a house together, open a joint account the works. We now own a house and are in the process of redecorating and remodelling, for the past 2-3 months however I have noticed she has become distant. I have asked and pried jokingly, asking if she has been cheating on me and then laughing. She usually replied with being tired or worrying about money for the house. Until tonight I started asking her how much she loved me and giving examples a la Bruno Mars (catch a grenade, bullet through the brain, etc.). She ended up 1 step shy of giving her life for me when in all the examples I gave my life for her. She then starts to breakdown crying and told me she's sorry but she doesn't love me as much any more but she still loves me like a partner, she's just not as happy as she used to be. She is now considering breaking up with me and I'm petrified. We have built our lives on the whole expectation that we are going to be together, we haven't officially broken up yet but I don't know what to do. The only thing that I can recognise as changing is that we used to go out with friends more often but now we don't so much and when we do its generally a quiet gathering down the pub for drinks and a chat. Any advice for saving a relationship/rekindling an ember? Or am I worrying about the whole house + joint account situation too much and just try to accept it and move on?
Assasda Posted May 16, 2014 Posted May 16, 2014 I winced as I read your little game about Bruno mars and catching a greanade, and your little joke "asking if she has been cheating on me and then laughing" Ugh.... Dude, you are smothering the girl to death. You are being a needy coddling father-like figure and its the best way to turn a girl off. Why do you feel the need to talk to someone like that, who's not talking to you. You need her validation, you need her company. And that is a turn-off. Once you seek validation from women, they can never love you like they did 3
Eivuwan Posted May 16, 2014 Posted May 16, 2014 That Bruno Mars song is one of my most hated song of all time because of the stupid lyrics. That song describes an unhealthy attachment. Please don't use it as a standard for relationship strength. You appear very insecure and cheating is not something you joke about. If you want her to feel attracted to you again, you have to work on your self-confidence and improve yourself so that you are not so dependent on her for validation. 2
singhnatasha903 Posted May 16, 2014 Posted May 16, 2014 Wow yeh man you do sound prettyyy needy. Not cool! Firstly this whole buying a house joint account thing happened way too soon in my opinion, you both are so young! Why are you trying to be adults when you're just what, 21 or 22??!! Enjoy yourself, party, travel. Plan a surprise vacation with her, or plan one for her and her bestie and you go on one with your best mate. Get some space. Do things that interest you, you're putting too much pressure on her by making her the ONLY point of focus in your world. 2
FitChick Posted May 16, 2014 Posted May 16, 2014 Yet another example of why couples shouldn't buy a house together or share bank accounts until they are married.
Salvatore85 Posted May 16, 2014 Posted May 16, 2014 She may not be cheating on you but I guarantee you she's met someone else she's very interested in. Sorry mate, sucks.
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