Hope4thefuture Posted May 15, 2014 Posted May 15, 2014 I am feeling better lately. Trying to take it slow and just keep moving forward. However this time of year is busy with our kids schedule. Sports, band concerts, etc. I think I am doing great because I don't see my STBX that much except during drop offs. But lately, I see him at games and try hard to be cordial. But then he will call me over to tell me some random information. I don't want to talk to him. I want to watch our son play. But I also don't want him to think I am being rude. I know he doesn't want to get back together, so why doesn't he just leave me alone? The other night was a concert for our son and he sat down right next to me and my family. I know he wants to see his boys and sit next to them too, but it makes me uncomfortable. I so badly wanted to stay a family, but he chose not to. So it hurts when he "pretends" that everything is ok. I am trying so hard to make it as easy as I can for the kids. They see him every week and every other weekend. They call him. I know how important it is to have him in their lives. Can't he have his time with them and I have mine? It is so hard to see him and know he has moved on. I am moving on too, but not as fast. Is it wrong to not want him to sit by me at functions with the boys? I have no problem with him being there, but it is a big place. Can't he sit somewhere else? Just need to know if I am overreacting? Thanks.
3blindmice Posted May 16, 2014 Posted May 16, 2014 I would have the kids sit by him and you sit on their other side. I would also bring friends or family every time and talk to them. I would not be rude and give the shortest answers to any questions or comments he says. I would feel like my space was invaded too so I would do all I could to make my space bigger by bringing people with me.
Yasuandio Posted May 16, 2014 Posted May 16, 2014 (edited) I understand completely, how you feel - and I don't even have kids. That would give me tons of anxiety. I would have to pop a few xanex in order to cope. Actually, I think there's more to it. I think he is purposely pushing your buttons. I'd take the advice above - and let kids sit with him, except - I would alternate. Next time, they get to sit with your family. I would put this proposal in writing - in a non-emotional manner. Suggesting that siting as a "pseudo-family" at family-oriented functions may cause confusion for the children, as both of you are now moving on and establishing different and separate households. Yas PS. Get ready, next, he's going to bring a friend out of retaliation. Pick your poison. It's all about button-pushing (and he installed the buttons)! Remember that, and stay very cool. Those are not his buttons to push any longer - he can kiss off. He needs to see you lose it - strokes his ego. Take control. No emotion. Edited May 16, 2014 by Yasuandio
Recommended Posts