Foolish Posted February 9, 2005 Posted February 9, 2005 ok here goes my boyfriend and i were together for two years. then he broke up with me because he isnt "in love" with me anymroe but he still loves me. can he fall back in love with me? in the last few months we were in sort of a rut. my parents had moved interstate and he had become my boyfriend, my family and my bestfriend all rolle into one. i think that was real hard on him. he is after all only 19 and i am only 18. i have now moved interstate to be with my family, but am very depressed. we are still bestfriends and still talked everyday but i miss him so much. is there any chance of us rekindling what we had? I feel like im losing my soul mate. is there anything i can do? or is it really just over?
Author Foolish Posted February 9, 2005 Author Posted February 9, 2005 one more thing... do i need to stop all contact with him to get over him??
Mr Spock Posted February 9, 2005 Posted February 9, 2005 I don't mean to condescend-but you're so young, and there is so much life experience ahead of you!!! I honestly think the thing for you to do now is to let him be for a while and sort things out on your own. You're broken up, and you'll never heal if you keep talking to him every day. So yes, I do think you need to stop communicating with him to get over him. I think you also need to get out there and see that there are a LOT of other guys around you. Ask yourself-why would you WANT to get back together with someone who can fall in and out of love with you?
Devildog Posted February 9, 2005 Posted February 9, 2005 Originally posted by Mr Spock I don't mean to condescend Wha??????? Since when? j/k
Mr Spock Posted February 9, 2005 Posted February 9, 2005 But I DIDN'T mean to condescend. If I had, you would know.
ReluctantRomeo Posted February 9, 2005 Posted February 9, 2005 The good news is that it's possible, but you can't rely on it. And you certainly shouldn't set your heart on it. I'm a case in point. After the breakup with ReluctantJuliette over New Year, I've started to think again about having dumped the previous ex. Yesterday she mailed me (a circular for change of address) and I rang her at home last night. Had a great chat - I'd forgotten how much fun she is - and we've arranged to meet up. What are the lessons for you? - go NC straight away. Don't tell him what you're doing, just do it. You can't be his safety net. Or at his beck and call. You've got to get on with your life. Pursue hobbies, new friends etc. Or he will lose all respect for you and you will waste your life hanging around for him. - Don't think about him. Maybe he'll come back, maybe he won't. The harsh truth is that it will probably take a nasty experience with another girl for him to remember how good you were. You can't leave your heart attached to him. - Let him contact you back, let him chase you. Although excuses like you sending him a birthday ecard or a change of address every couple of months are not bad pretexts. - Make sure that whatever caused the first breakup is tackled before you let him get back with you. And no sex or anything until you've sorted this out. - Don't count on any of this working - NC may just be a way for you to move on. Me getting back with my ex is possible, but not at all certain. And in a couple of months time you may realise you're better off without him. Be strong!
Author Foolish Posted February 9, 2005 Author Posted February 9, 2005 thanks guys.. i spent about three and a half hours on the phone with him last night and put my heart out there one last time and he wasn't interested. So, I'm going to move on. I never knew it could be this hard though. How does anyone fall in love again after they've had there heart broken? It seems pointless.
Author Foolish Posted February 9, 2005 Author Posted February 9, 2005 ps. Mr Spock- I know I'm young, it's the main issue thats motivating me to move one. I just feel so horrible that I'm losing my best friend and someone that i've shared so much with. It makes love seem so fickle and pointless. Whats the point if you can't even keep the person? I'd hate to lose him altogether. Once i've had no contact i'd like to be his friend. ReluctantRomeo- I hope everything works out with your Juliet. I believe that you shouldnt let special people slip away because they're hard to come by.
KANSAN Posted February 9, 2005 Posted February 9, 2005 It's a VEEEEERRRRRYYYYY SSSCCCAAAAAAARRRRRRYYY feeling Foolish, Its been a year since my breakup and I still can't seem to find it in me to let my guard down. You'll find someone that's worth your time and effort don't give up. GOOD LUCK
Author Foolish Posted February 10, 2005 Author Posted February 10, 2005 ok.. quick question.. how do i stop myself thinking about him and our relationship and the good times and love and everything???! im going freaking crazy here
Numb Posted February 10, 2005 Posted February 10, 2005 If someone tells you, let me know. Cause thats some info I could really use. I just try to keep busy but it doesn't always work, the mind always goes to the painful issues no matter what.
Mr Spock Posted February 10, 2005 Posted February 10, 2005 Rubber band on your wrist. When you start feeling like you're going to cry or your head will explode, snap it HARD. Then think about what you have to look forward to
Author Foolish Posted February 10, 2005 Author Posted February 10, 2005 i have another question... do people realy, truely and completely get over someone?? I mean, if you've loved someone with your whole heart, do you ever completely get it back again?
sportynut38 Posted February 11, 2005 Posted February 11, 2005 I don't know if you can completely and totally get over someone you love. To me, when you love someone, you carry that love with you for all time. The memories might start to dim, the missing will become less and less ... but there will always be a time when you think back on them and wonder "what if". And you will always care about them in that special way. You will be able to love again, so I am told. I happen to believe that love comes in all shapes and sizes and when you do love again, it won't be the same. Not stronger, not weaker, just different. Because the person you love is different. The part of your heart that he holds will always be tied to him. I have heard stories where people fell in love 20+ years ago and then met up again only to find that they still had the same feelings for each other. I think it is amazing when you find that kind of love that stands the test of time. Good luck to you and I wish you the very best.
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