GuitarMan1984 Posted May 15, 2014 Posted May 15, 2014 Ok here is the deal . I have been with a woman that I met a little over a year ago . We both lived separably as of last april 2013then moved in together in Jan 2014. Since then it has been great but towards the beginning of the relationship I slept with a past friend cause the relationship wasn't really defined in the beginning we had I guess what you could call a open relationship . Since then she has jealousy problems due to this and the relationship to being defined . The main point of me posting this posting is because lately at may 15 I have been talking for a few weeks of us living separate places because we are fighting about mundane things that are small that turn into heated fights . I love this girl alot I dont want to lose her but I feel I cant live with her cause we are fighting about nonsense . Is this normal . I need advice . I have no one to talk to I feel horrible because I dont like causing her pain and telling her this is what I think is best but that I want to make things work . I truely love her . Any one else experience this or are going threw this know some1 etc that is in the same situation. I await your replies Thankyou All out there .
KaliLove Posted May 15, 2014 Posted May 15, 2014 Well..if you don't ever want to live with her then where are you expecting this relationship to go?
headinthecloud Posted May 16, 2014 Posted May 16, 2014 You're simply not communicating in a healthy way - both of you. See a couples therapist. 1
Chi townD Posted May 16, 2014 Posted May 16, 2014 Headintheclouds is right. You two are terrible at communicating the right way and she has some jealousy issues to work through. Therapy would be your best bet.
Author GuitarMan1984 Posted May 18, 2014 Author Posted May 18, 2014 The fact is that i or we cannot afford couples therapy . The reality is we are fighting. Too much to the point where i think we would be better living separately. Has anyone ever been in this position ? I need answrers .i have no one to turn to :/.
zen2475 Posted May 18, 2014 Posted May 18, 2014 Separating isn't going to make anything better. All that will accomplish is create a larger chasm between the two of you. Obviously she has a lot of resentment that you slept with someone else before you two were exclusive. The fact that she hangs on to that resentment speaks much to her level of maturity and her ability to regulate her emotions. She needs to accept the fact you were not committed at the time, and as such, you were free to see who you wanted to see. She has a lot of unexpressed emotions related to this and she needs to deal with them, express them fully, and then let them go. Conversely, I would suggest to you to fully acknowledge her anger and jealousy, but lovingly remind her you made a choice to be with her and have been committed to her ever since. Part of that commitment is sticking together through rough spots in your relationship and learning to manage conflict together in a healthy, loving and accepting way. Moving out is doing the opposite of that.
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