orioles1744 Posted May 15, 2014 Posted May 15, 2014 So I've known this girl for over a year we started ha in out in dec and have been together since feb. She has a lengthy past but has been honest with me about everything. When we first started talking she played hard to get and would talk to other guys to mess with me. We are very happy but my insecurities are going to break me. When ever her phone goes off I want to know who it is. She checks fb more when we are apart then when we are together I let this worry me. She had sex with her daughters tball Chach over a year ago and she's on his team again. I get paranoid when she goes to the games without me. She just started going to the gym and that worries me she is very beautiful and I am afraid she will get more beautiful and leave me. We play a sport togeather and she was with a couple of the guys there a couple years ago and that bothers me and. I have talked to her many times but it just upsets her. She had a daughter who loves me and her whole family loves me which has never happened before. She wants to go out for a girls night and that worries me I don't want her going to the club because I don't want any other guys dancing on her she can't hold herself when she's drunk she never said they were going to the club but that's just one of my worries. I have no clue why I feel this way. When I was younger my dad left me and I don't know if that has anything to do with it but I don't want to lose her please help me.
Dallers Posted May 15, 2014 Posted May 15, 2014 I think all of us feel this way at some point in our lives. I had a relationship like this and I look back in anguish at the person I was and cannot understand how I was ever like that. That is because I am now confident in myself and respect who I am and what I live for and so I have no insecurity in what I want or who I want to be with. Back then I was a mess. The difference is wanting them more than you respect yourself, rather than equally wanting each other. Normally a relationship is pulled one way and then back the other and both parties become jealous to some extent. But what you are going through is a lack of confidence that you are good enough for her, you see yourself as inferior because of her beauty and her ability to have whatever she wants. The outcome will be this: 1. Continue along the path you are going, push her away by the way you are acting and lose her eventually accepting that what you feared was right all along when actually the fear of losing her was the cause. 2. Accept that she wants to be with you and not anyone else, let her past go and enjoy what you have with her now in the present instead of dwelling what might happen. If you take option 1 you will always live in regret and even if the worst happens by taking option 2 you still enjoyed the time you had with her rather than the time you didn't. Sadly, most of us take option 1 because it is just human nature. 1
giblesp Posted May 16, 2014 Posted May 16, 2014 (edited) From what you've written, you do sound needy and I'm only saying that because its a feeling I sometime have in me, that I replace with my own independence, as I learned that needing a woman turns them off, turns me off and is a reflection of me lacking self confidence. If you lose her, yes it will hurt. But you've got yourself thats independent of someone elses validation right? Very important to not need someone else for your happiness. If you've got no real reason to distrust her, then there is nothing to worry about. Every relationship is going to get difficult. When it does get to that challenging intensity that you are experiencing now, the tendency is to freak out and maybe curl up in a ball or lash out in anger. Happens to everybody at sometime. Take the opportunity to step back and see what might be blocking the path to your own independent happiness. When I do this instead of freaking out, usually the issues I am having with my partner are solved relatively quickly. Edited May 16, 2014 by giblesp
Assasda Posted May 16, 2014 Posted May 16, 2014 At least the OP knows that he's insecure Both of the post above me are correct. You put her on the oh so famous pedestal, and you are needy needy needy. You dont control her, so you cant control what she does with other people. What you do is, you get your own life. Realize that, that is the the only life you can control, because she can leave you, and you can do nothing about that. Take up a hobby and do things on your own, and stop treating her as if she were some special flower that someone can snatch out of your hand. She's a human.
preraph Posted May 16, 2014 Posted May 16, 2014 If this relationship is triggering more insecurity than others you've been in, I'd say get out and find someone who is a bit easier to trust so you don't put yourself in the position of being the weirdo who wants to watch her every move. If that's always how it is for you, than I would suggest working on your issue with a therapist, no kidding, because it's hard to ever be happy for any length of time when your fear is losing her. Always remember, you can't keep anyone from cheating no matter how much you monitor them, and it will make them want out. The only way you will ever know she won't leave and will stay is to leave the door open wide and give her every opportunity to do whatever she wants to do and see if she's still there six months from now.
Author orioles1744 Posted May 16, 2014 Author Posted May 16, 2014 Thanks for all your replies. I did really good yesterday not worrying. I woke up for work this morning and she wore her bra and underwear that she likes to wear when she wants to look sexy. She works with all girls and I know she was at work and I met her right after work. She changed before I could see it on her. I tried to have lastnight but she said she was tired and fell asleep right away. How should I feel
Author orioles1744 Posted May 16, 2014 Author Posted May 16, 2014 I just wish I had answers to why I feel this way. Like today I was like are we having sex less than normal it's still 3 times a week which is less than when we first started it but that's going to happen. Then I was like does she still love me as much as when we first got together she done seem as excited to see me any more. Probably because we live together but I miss that feeling.
Vaishali Posted May 16, 2014 Posted May 16, 2014 I can give you that time. Visit: http://www.vaishalimehra.in/gurgaon-escorts.html
Recommended Posts