Why Let First Love Deter Us from Stronger Relationships?

[usernames18]

I have been in a deep and insightful mood since my latest breakup. My ex decided to leave me based on feelings that he, obviously had for his high school girlfriend-which I found both hurtful and pathetic. After grieving and eating my body weight in Nutella, I was struck with an epiphany. Why do so many people succumb to the charms of their first loves? The idea of spending an eternity with our first significant other is romanticized by Hollywood and many young adult novels, eh-hem, Twilight. Honestly, I think this idea is shallow and it only encourages people, especially teenagers, that the only love worth effort is the first. This is preposterous to me.

 

First loves are special in the sense that they set the foundation for other relationships, but think about it; doesn't every relationship set some sort of foundation for the next? Isn't every relationship special? Do we not learn how to love in every romantic relationship we are involved in? The answer to both these questions is: YES! Every relationship is special because it was a time in our lives where we invested our everything into another individual. We spent time, money, tears, and pain on this person. For that reason, everyone we have ever had an emotional connection with is special in their own way, right?

 

However, when the love fades and hope for the future has crumbled away, we find someone who encompasses everything we have longed for; everything that our first love was not. All the damage we have endured throughout the years melts away and we realize how silly we were to pine after someone we dated years ago.

 

We grow to know and love ourselves through the failed relationships we experience. By growing and developing love of self, we are then able to give our everything to another person.

[Bruce Leigh]

And yet so many stories of infidelity with that special first love/crush from school/childhood days.

Most of these "relationships" never really end though, the people involved usually just move away/pursue a life elsewhere with no ill feelings toward each other.

They meet up years later and whoever else they are involved with are usually an after thought. Then the **** hits the fan.

We really are simple creatures at times.

[usernames18]

I've heard multiple people say that they have never fully gotten over their first love; this bothers me. Why would you be unfaithful to your partner for someone you dated in the past?

Like, I get having no ill will, but still wanting to pursue them after so long is strange. Some people don't want to move on, in my opinion.

I don't know lol. I feel very strongly about this subject. Thanks for the reply I love hearing everyone's point of view!

[Potz4prez]

I don't think I've technically ever had a "first love"... never thought of that as a good thing till now.