Have I completely ruined my chances of getting my ex back? I need your input so bad!

May 15, 2014

So here is a quick run down of the our history:

*Casually dated in March 2012, after a few dates I wanted to tell him I had feelings for him. He tells me that he has started seeing someone (apparently I didn't move in quick enough).

*Spent the entire summer depressed but he would still randomly text me casual messages once a week or so.

*He breaks up with his significant other beginning of August and I swooped in.

*Our relationship was great for the most part. We had fun, we did lots of things together, etc

*He breaks up with me on March 14, 2014 telling me that we bickered a lot about stupid things (which we did), he told me that I wasn't giving off anymore "passion", he said that I wasn't out or open to my entire family and therefore I wasn't able to be open with him in public, etc

*After our breakup I didn't say anything for 2 days. He texts me about a Coldplay show on iTunes. I thank him. He says "I'm sad we can't watch it on my AppleTV".

*I received several more of these messages as the days/weeks went on. I told him I missed him, he said he missed me.... a lot.

*Text messages then slowly became very neutral. Mine had feeling and his had no tone.

*We met up to cancel our wine membership. I cried, we hugged for a long time, it was sweet. I felt like we still had a chance.

*We met up a second time about 3 weeks later because I wanted to get some stuff off my chest. At times it felt like we were still dating (he held my hand, fed me bread, joked around, etc)

*During that dinner I asked if he still had feelings for me, he said yes. I asked if he believed that people could change, he said yes.

*After our meeting I went NC for 1 entire month. He texted me during that time once and it was a void text message about tickets going on sale for a concert. Nothing more.

*After 1 month I initiated on 5/5/14 and kept it lighthearted. His texts had no tone really

*Few days go by and he texts me again about something random.

*A few days go by and he texts me again about something random. Message has no substance really (no feelings, no tone, but HE is still reaching out).

*I called him on Mother's Day to see if he could meet me at the garden store to give me some advice on what kind of flowers to buy. Conversation is going great, he says he might be able to help if he is home.

*An hour later he texts me saying "Just to be open/honest, I've started dating someone and he may be out of town next weekend which would give me the time to help you out. Just wanted to be clear so that there wasn't any confusion". I responded "I understand"

*On Tuesday 5/13 I emailed him the following:

Hi xxxxxxx,

Listen, I need to be honest with you....

I know that we had talked about possibly getting together on Sunday so that you could help me with my gardening project, but I think it would be best to hold off right now.

A lot has happened since our breakup (ie: Coming out to my parents, seeing a therapist, quit smoking, etc) and I would like to continue making positive changes to my life. Seeing you right now would bring me so much joy, but it would also make me really sad. I hope you can understand. I respect you as a person and would like to give you some space, especially since you are dating someone.

I wish I knew if the door was closed or not, but if one day you would like to explore the option of a second chance, please know that I would welcome it with open arms and give 110% effort to make sure that past mistakes weren't repeated. My love for you is most genuine. Know that I love you, not because I lost you, but because my heart is with you.

Whether or not we write additional chapters together someday..... I am a fan of yours, I am rooting for you, and I wish you the absolute best.

Love Always,

xxxxx

-------

He responded about 2 hours later with this:

xxxxx,

I'm sorry to hear that you are having a rough adjustment. But I'm very happy for you that you are making positive changes in your life. It's important to be happy with yourself and the life you are living.

Thank you for the kind words and may the future bring you success and happiness.

All the best.

xxxxx

------

Can anyone please give me some insight here

I'm in so much pain and I don't know what to do anymore. Are there feelings? Are there no feelings? Is he potentially just trying to see what's out there first?

Why isn't he addressing the "open door" questions or hints that I keep implying?!?! Back when we met up to cancel our wine membership I asked him the same thing.

"So is the door completely closed for a future together?" ----- He responded with a shy-attitude response of "Yoouuuu can call me"

PLEASE HELP GUYS

Also, this new person he is dating is 110% not his type. I know his type and this person is far from it.

Any comments/advice would be appreciated..... very much

May 15, 2014

Yeah, my ex got with someone who was the opposite of me, too...

Stay strong, brother. Sorry for your loss. You aren't alone in the fight, it's a tough fight. I think they're just exploring. It's best to go NC though and heal. You deserve someone who will stick with you.

May 15, 2014

A bit confused, it seems you were a gay couple. Well it really makes no difference as the answer to breakups is still the same irrespective of gender. No contact get on with your life. May he will come back, probably he won't but you have to heal as you are obviously the wounded person here. No need to ask any further question of him, you have already said enuf. Go no contact with the aim of healing and moving on

May 15, 2014

Did your ex ever reach out to you afterwards? Or was that it....?

My biggest fear is that 1-2 months from now I'm going to receive ANOTHER random text from him that is void of substance. Something like "Tickets for so-so concert are on sale this weekend" ---- and it will once again give me SO MUCH false hope that he is interested again! He just texted me, he MUST be thinking about me, etc.

I don't get it. He is a Libra too by the way (in case that helps with people's advice).

What should I do?? After writing my email I feel like I would come off looking extremely desperate if I made any contact right now.

But, do you get the impression that he is saying "alright... see ya!" in his email response to me?

May 15, 2014

I reached out to her a while after the breakup when I thought I had nothing to lose. I quickly learned I had a lot to lose, as I found out she was with another guy now and moved in with him. Worst feeling on Earth my friend.

Last I talked to her, she was getting physically abused. She then cut me off entirely..

But yes, it's best to block his number if you can. Block all contact. It's bread crumbs, you know what I mean? It's all BS. If he wanted to get back together with you, he'd make that clear.. so F that stuff.

You should stay no contact, and slowly heal. There's plenty of people out there for you way better for you.

I get a neutral impression from his email. I can see your angle though about it coming off as a goodbye. So be it then, if that's what it is. You are better off.

May 15, 2014

I'm sorry Darek that you are in so much pain. I can absolutely understand how that feeling of finality can hit you like a ton of bricks.

I believe his response to you is his way of telling you that he is moving on. Void of any crumbs of hope, I think he was very straightforward in his reply.

I believe when someone is emotionally involved with another, you become the distant past, in terms of feelings for you. They are now consumed with the new person. He may still care for you but emotionally affected or attached, I don't think so. This is why he never addressed the open door. One, to maybe respect his current relationship. Two, doesn't want to give you hope. Three, he doesn't feel the same way you do.

When you met to cancel the wine membership and he said you could call him in response to your "open door", he probably said that because he was on the fence, he may have felt differently, he didn't know how to respond honestly. In any case, this is why NC is advised. Sometimes when you allow contact, you help the dumper transition smoothly onto the next person. There was a reason why they ended with you in the first place. Hanging around doesn't change that.

You cannot decide what and who is his type. If he has gravitated to her and is wanting a relationship with her, then she is his type. Even if she wasn't, he's still not gravitating to you, who is "his type".

You must NC this time. Ignore him if he communicates with you as well. This has gone on for far too long.

May 15, 2014

Sounds like he's just stringing you along, like you're a puppy that will jump for the treat when he waves it in your face. You don't deserve that.....at all.

You're best course of action? Change your number, change everything. Forget him.

As much as it will suck, as much as it will hurt - if you do this and stick to it, you will come out of this a stronger person and I garuntee you will attract a much better man who sees your worth and not a silly boy who toys with your emotions when he feels like it.

May 15, 2014

Move on. Let NC be your religion.

Where this guy is at in his life---if the two of you were to get back together, the moment you went out of town he'd be text-ing Tom, Dick or Harry to possibly, maybe meet up at the flower store.

Not relationship material.

May 15, 2014

Oh, and just to be clear---YOU did not completely ruin anything. Get out of that mindset.

YOU are there. YOU are available. YOU deserve better.

May 15, 2014

I have to say... you guys are too kind for taking the time out of your day to chime in and give me your input. I've talked to all my friends/family about this whole situation but it's so nice to hear from outside people that can be neutral as well.

I honestly CAN'T move on from him. He was my everything. Don't get me wrong, there were things that sucked in our relationship, but I guess I always looked at it like we could work on these things together and make them better.

Everyone says "move on" --- "if it's meant to be it's meant to be" ---- but all I'm doing is reading into everything and creating little stories in my head of what will happen (or potentially could happen).

The text messages: If he really didn't care about me and wanted nothing to do with me, why on EARTH would he still be sending me stuff.

The last time we saw eachother in person, he held my hand at the table in the restaurant because I got emotional. He caressed my hand, but at the same time retracted after a few seconds. He THEN told me that he was casually "seeing someone" (which I found out didn't work out because the other guy had some emotional baggage or something). When I had asked him how it was going.... he said.... "oooookay.....he's not you"

What am I supposed to do with all this? I can't help but think that he is using this time to see what else is out there, in hopes that during this time I also work on myself, come out, be open with myself, etc and then maybe he'll take me back???

Another crazy piece to this puzzle is that he frequently talks to my brothers girlfriend via text message. She has to play neutral between us both, but I've gotten several bits of information from me (only when I ask).

When he first met my brothers gf, he laughed because he understood why we all made fun of her and why we thought she was a b*tch. After my breakup, I reached out to her so that I could smooth things out and actually be civil towards one another. It worked. We seem to be doing well with eachother now and she seems genuinely interested in my healing. The only thing that sucks is that she and my ex talk weekly via text message and so she knows about almost everything on his end.

Don't people remove themselves from all aspects of a relationship after a breakup? I feel like my ex found a friend with her because he saw HOW SIMILAR their relationship was with our own.

Any thoughts? Anymore advise?

I can't tell you guys how much I appreciate your support. It really means a lot

May 15, 2014

You can't move on from him because you've never been able to grieve and heal from this. You've never accepted it to be over because you both have always kept some form of hope going. There was never a finality to this and the acceptance that it is over. And you cannot move on if you keep in contact with an ex.

Dumpers keep contact going with dumpees because dumpers have their own way of processing the break-up. Keeping in contact with the dumpee, gives them attention, an ego boost, allows them to have a crutch -- you give them what they need to transition through the break-up. Just as he kept texting you with messages that gave you hope, and the moment he met someone his tune changed. You helped him ease through the ending onto his next mate.

And with the last episode holding hands under the table, he knew it wasn't working with the other person so he exhibited behavior that still kept you where he wanted you to be. Hopeful. That's the game. Honestly, if he was with someone that wasn't YOU, why wasn't he with you to begin with. Rather, he'd be with someone that wasn't as great as you as he claimed. It doesn't make sense.

You need to remove yourself from this and stop allowing this guy to keep you on the backburner. This seems like the second time he's done this to you. Enough is enough. Stop sitting around and waiting for this guy to choose you.

May 15, 2014

It breaks my heart

I can't help but think.... where am I going to find someone that was so geeky, so handsome, such an amazing cook, someone who would send me a "thinking about you" card just because, someone who was a responsible adult that had a mortgage, someone who had a dog that my dog absolutely loved, someone who was born/raised completely different than me (very small town)..... etc

The list can go on and on and on. I know people say that you should focus on the negative aspects of the relationship in order to help you move on... but the POSITIVE aspects completely weigh out the negative ones

May 15, 2014

I'm sorry, I know how it feels.

The last thing you need to think about is the "I will never find xyz." That is unrealistic. And that isn't what you should be focusing on now. Granted it's a fear that will go through you but you will see that when you're over this, it's not going to be a factor because you'll be able to appreciate the differences of others and what they have to bring to the table versus believing that no one will ever live up to this guy. You're idealizing and romanticizing him now. It's normal but it isn't truth.

Stop thinking that way. Push it out. That's just defeatist and demoralizing.

May 15, 2014

These last 2 months have been extremely hard on my heart. One day I'll be okay and the other day I'll go home and completely lose it :'(

I don't want him completely out of my life (although for right now I know I should distance myself and try to heal some more).... but I'm so scared about receiving another text from him 1-2 months down the road that has ZERO substance.

How do I answer his next text? (if I ever even get one) --- "Hey listen, I'm not sure what kind of message you are trying to send me with your texts, but if you would like to talk about possibly giving our relationship another try then please speak up."

I don't want to sound like an a**hole either though Even though some people would probably say that I should.

May 15, 2014

He's sending random texts because he's a friendly person who likes and cares about you (albeit as a friend).

He held your hand when you were emotional because he is a caring human being.

He didn't respond to your questions about getting back together because he knew the truth would hurt & he didn't want to inflict pain on you.

Since you think so much of him, you know this. You also know that he doesn't dislike you. The part you refuse to accept is that he doesn't want a relationship with you.

I am truly sorry that you are hurting and I understand how hard it is to accept that it's over, but creating little stories in your head and refusing to move on is only making it worse.

To draw the conclusion that he's leading you on because he is nice to you is wishful thinking. He has never said or shown that he wants nothing to do with you, but he HAS let you know that he is dating someone else and doesn't want a romantic relationship with you.

The best thing that you could do for yourself is to tell him to stop contacting you. Let him know that hearing from him causes even more pain and is preventing you from healing and moving on. If he cares about your feelings (which from what you've told us, I believe he does), he will respect your request.

Oh--and tell your brother's gf to stop telling you about him (even when you ask!) Whatever it is is not your concern and will only feed those mental stories.

Look, you aren't the first person to be broken up with by someone they love and you won't be the last. You will survive, and once you have recovered, you will be ready to meet that next special someone that you don't think you can live without.

May 15, 2014

Hi Darek!

So sorry you are going through this too. It's hard.

I think when someone ends things with us, they have probably thought of ending it for awhile and their feelings had awhile to change too, and they had us with them as comfort while they processed that. When they tell us it's over, we start all of that right then, and we have no comfort cause they are gone.

This is why I think no contact is best. Your ex is fine being friends because his feelings are neutral at this point. You need to take some time away from it all so your feelings can catch up with his, maybe, MAYBE then you could try to be friends.

I know people on here have a lot of hope, but I think the thing that got me feeling better was realizing that it's a rare thing that they will come back now. I know mine won't. I got a breadcrumb too that said "I miss talking to you", not that he misses or loves me, he just misses the time I filled when it was convenient for him. It was hard at first but I did not respond.

Another thing that helped was stalking all my exes (NOT THE CURRENT ONE, we need them BLOCKED) and unrequited crushes on Facebook and remember how I felt I was going to DIE when they left or didn't share my feelings, reminded me that we do meet new and sometimes better people and the sinking horrible feeling does go away.

I have certain preferences that make me scared I won't find someone compatible too so I do understand that feeling, but I thought that before him too and it wasn't true.

Sorry again, it sucks!

Edited May 15, 2014 by jbelle6

May 15, 2014

Right now, he has the control, all the control. You are waiting for any morsel to fall off the table.

You've got to let go.

When I think about the greatest moments in my relationships, it's the moments when everything is effortless. Why is it effortless? Because I'm with someone who's into me and wants the same things I want. And I want the same things they want. We're tripping over each other to GIVE.

Does any of your situation sound effortless?

Do something nice for yourself. Take yourself out to dinner. When thoughts start to creep in about him, identify them, stop the thought, breathe and say aloud, "Just Let Go..." Repeat.

If he decides he wants to be in your life, you will KNOW without a doubt. No 21 Questions.

You can do it.

May 19, 2014

*****UPDATE*****

Oh my god guys, I really need your help

So after his email response to me, I basically thought I wasn't going to hear from him anymore. Well.... on Thursday, he texts me a screen shot of some event at a local bar that we used to love going to.

It took me about to hours to respond but I eventually texted him this:

"xxxxx you are confusing me. If you are dating someone, date them. If you are having second thoughts about our break up, be honest. If you are closing the door, tell me. Your text messages break my heart because I can't figure out what your real intentions are. I know deep down inside that we could really have something amazing here. I'm working on myself to correct so many areas in my life because I'm ready for a REAL relationship. Out in the open, partners, together... not one-sided like it was before. If you want to explore that option then please say something. Even if you're testing the waters with someone else right now and don't know what it is you want, that's okay too.... just say something. I want us to be honest xxxxx. I'm not here to sugarcoat anything or come at you with a hidden agenda. I know that I could've been a better boyfriend, trust me. But at least now I know what I had to fix in order to never make those same mistakes again."

He took a few minutes and responded back with this:

"I was just sharing because you like that music and going out on Fridays. I'm sorry that being nice is unwelcome. I'll delete you from my contacts. Good luck on everything."

So then I immediately texted him back:

"That's not what I meant. I know you're just sharing but I'm confused. Please understand where I'm coming from. I'm not asking you to delete my contact info. I'm not deleting yours either. That wasn't the intention of my text to you. I was speaking from the heart because I obviously still care about you. I'm not looking for anyone to delete any contacts."

It was quiet for a couple of hours and then I simply texted "Talk to me "

------

So that was about it from Thursday 5/15. On Friday, I was at a BBQ and I received a text from him at 11:30pm. This is rare considering he usually doesn't stay up at late on Fridays due to his part time job on Saturdays (unless he was off.... I don't know). Anyways, his text message was extremely random and didn't sit well with me. Here is our conversation:

Him ----- "Hey. I'll stop texting you after this. I just wanted you to know that I was tested and I'm negative"

Me ----- "Did you think you were positive?"

Him ----- "No. But I wanted to be sure. We didn't use condoms. So I wanted to let you know. Please be safe in the future."

Me ----- "Did you think I was sleeping around while dating you?"

Him ----- "No, not at all. And neither was I. I just wanted you to know. It's courteous as far as I'm concerned."

Me ----- "I respect that."

Me ----- "Please don't block me from your contacts. My message to you the other night was not meant to upset you.... in ANY way. I need you to know that. I wanted to be honest with you because I wasn't sure where we stand. I know we're broken up but I just wasn't sure what your true feelings were. Don't be upset with me. I still have very strong feelings for you."

Him ----- "Ok"

Me ----- "Thank you for being honest with me. I think about us all the time xxxxx. You don't have to respond to that, I just need you to know."

Him -----"It's all good. I'm sure you understand that we are in different places in life. I just wanted you to know in case you were wondering."

Me -----"I think we both want the same things xxxxx. I know what I want. I want a partner.... to be my other half, open to everyone, a couple, etc."

Me ----- "Is the door completely closed for us? If you aren't sure, that's okay... just be honest with me.

***** So then I see he began to text a response because the 3 little dots appeared on my iPhone screen *****

Silent. No text back.... nothing.

I finally texted him again saying "You don't have to answer right now... "

------------

Can you guys please help?!?!

He tells me he's going to delete my contact info. Then he sends me some RANDOM message that he was tested and he is negative. I can understand him reaching out to me if the results were different... but COME ON!

There HAS TO BE something still there. There has to be. Why on earth is he putting any ounce of energy into sending me text messaged. Wouldn't a normal dumper (who has no intentions of getting back together with their ex) just ignore all contact and move on?!!?

Please help

May 19, 2014

*****UPDATE*****

Oh my god guys, I really need your help

So after his email response to me, I basically thought I wasn't going to hear from him anymore. Well.... on Thursday, he texts me a screen shot of some event at a local bar that we used to love going to.

It took me about to hours to respond but I eventually texted him this:

"xxxxx you are confusing me. If you are dating someone, date them. If you are having second thoughts about our break up, be honest. If you are closing the door, tell me. Your text messages break my heart because I can't figure out what your real intentions are. I know deep down inside that we could really have something amazing here. I'm working on myself to correct so many areas in my life because I'm ready for a REAL relationship. Out in the open, partners, together... not one-sided like it was before. If you want to explore that option then please say something. Even if you're testing the waters with someone else right now and don't know what it is you want, that's okay too.... just say something. I want us to be honest xxxxx. I'm not here to sugarcoat anything or come at you with a hidden agenda. I know that I could've been a better boyfriend, trust me. But at least now I know what I had to fix in order to never make those same mistakes again."

He took a few minutes and responded back with this:

"I was just sharing because you like that music and going out on Fridays. I'm sorry that being nice is unwelcome. I'll delete you from my contacts. Good luck on everything."

So then I immediately texted him back:

"That's not what I meant. I know you're just sharing but I'm confused. Please understand where I'm coming from. I'm not asking you to delete my contact info. I'm not deleting yours either. That wasn't the intention of my text to you. I was speaking from the heart because I obviously still care about you. I'm not looking for anyone to delete any contacts."

It was quiet for a couple of hours and then I simply texted "Talk to me "

------

So that was about it from Thursday 5/15. On Friday, I was at a BBQ and I received a text from him at 11:30pm. This is rare considering he usually doesn't stay up at late on Fridays due to his part time job on Saturdays (unless he was off.... I don't know). Anyways, his text message was extremely random and didn't sit well with me. Here is our conversation:

Him ----- "Hey. I'll stop texting you after this. I just wanted you to know that I was tested and I'm negative"

Me ----- "Did you think you were positive?"

Him ----- "No. But I wanted to be sure. We didn't use condoms. So I wanted to let you know. Please be safe in the future."

Me ----- "Did you think I was sleeping around while dating you?"

Him ----- "No, not at all. And neither was I. I just wanted you to know. It's courteous as far as I'm concerned."

Me ----- "I respect that."

Me ----- "Please don't block me from your contacts. My message to you the other night was not meant to upset you.... in ANY way. I need you to know that. I wanted to be honest with you because I wasn't sure where we stand. I know we're broken up but I just wasn't sure what your true feelings were. Don't be upset with me. I still have very strong feelings for you."

Him ----- "Ok"

Me ----- "Thank you for being honest with me. I think about us all the time xxxxx. You don't have to respond to that, I just need you to know."

Him -----"It's all good. I'm sure you understand that we are in different places in life. I just wanted you to know in case you were wondering."

Me -----"I think we both want the same things xxxxx. I know what I want. I want a partner.... to be my other half, open to everyone, a couple, etc."

Me ----- "Is the door completely closed for us? If you aren't sure, that's okay... just be honest with me.

***** So then I see he began to text a response because the 3 little dots appeared on my iPhone screen *****

Silent. No text back.... nothing.

I finally texted him again saying "You don't have to answer right now... "

------------

Can you guys please help?!?!
He tells me he's going to delete my contact info. Then he sends me some RANDOM message that he was tested and he is negative. I can understand him reaching out to me if the results were different... but COME ON!

There HAS TO BE something still there. There has to be. Why on earth is he putting any ounce of energy into sending me text messaged. Wouldn't a normal dumper (who has no intentions of getting back together with their ex) just ignore all contact and move on?!!?

Please help

He told you he was going to delete you and you responded that you didn't want him to and then when he was silent, you texted him, "Talk to me." He probably didn't know what to do and just sent you something random. And even then he kept ending each response with a subtle hint that he wasn't on the same page as you were. Your texts were emotional, almost provoking for a reaction and he gave you nothing back.

My ex boyfriends who wanted to keep contact did the same thing. So no, most dumpers will still revisit the dumpee. It doesn't mean that there is still something there. Dumpers may still have that connection with you and may want to still have some form of communication due to comfort, familiarity -- heck they may even like you for who you are and still want you in their life.

He's being so blatant and straightforward in his responses to you. You're just in so much denial that you don't want to let go. You kept pushing, laying it all out hoping for some form of life from him and he gave you nothing with those responses. What else do you need?

Step back, from this please. Stay NC.

Edited May 19, 2014 by Zahara

May 19, 2014

Zahara definitely speaks the truth, brother.

You are in a great deal of denial.

Recognize you are in denial about it being over. Forgive yourself for the fights. Forgive him for the fights.

Know many more people await you.

May 19, 2014

No, a normal dumper wouldn't just stop contacting you forever. A normal dumper wants to have their cake and eat it too. They don't want to be with you but they want to keep you in their lives as an ego boost/potential f buddy. He's being extremely straightforward with you. Listen to him. Go NC. It's over.

Also..USE CONDOMS!

May 19, 2014

You guys say to let go... go NC... etc

I've tried all of this but he keeps sending me stuff that gives me hope. It may/may not be false hope, I don't know.

I can't help but think that there is still a small chance that there is something there. Why on earth would he be sending me stupid texts about an upcoming event at our favorite bar. WHY did he decide to send me that random text about getting tested on 11:30pm. Wouldn't you just count your blessings that you are healthy and MOVE ON. Why did he feel the need to inform me that he was healthy. Then he says.... "please be safe in the future".

I can't help but lose my mind trying to decipher what his intentions are

May 19, 2014

No, a normal dumper wouldn't just stop contacting you forever. A normal dumper wants to have their cake and eat it too. They don't want to be with you but they want to keep you in their lives as an ego boost/potential f buddy. He's being extremely straightforward with you. Listen to him. Go NC. It's over.

Also..USE CONDOMS!

I do, but we were together for 1.5 years and we both knew that we were healthy/clean, etc.

And he is NOT being straightforward with me. Someone who is straightforward would say "hey listen, I'm really sorry but the door is unfortunately closed. I wish you the best in your future, etc, etc"

He has not ONCE said that the door is closed. Not ONCE!! And I've asked 2-3 times now (or at least hinted at the question).

So to be honest... I don't think that's it over. I genuinely believe that he is testing out the waters right now with someone who happens to be giving him attention and he still wants to keep me in the background in case he finally figures out what it is he wants.

:( :(

May 19, 2014

It is absolutely false hope.

Almost all dumpers send breadcrumbs. Don't listen to your broken heart, it's only going to tell you crazy things..listen to HIM. He is telling you that he doesn't want to be with you. He hasn't wavered once on that.

My ex was still texting me that he loved me after our break up..but he still didn't want to get back together.

May 19, 2014

You guys say to let go... go NC... etc

I've tried all of this but he keeps sending me stuff that gives me hope.

You HAVE TO BLOCK HIM. It's the HARDEST THING ON EARTH, and you will have to summon a DEEP courage you NEVER thought you could utilize -- DEEP DEEP inside your heart.

I can't help but lose my mind trying to decipher what his intentions are

You are in denial, as his intentions are clear. He has stated time and time again the same thing, but you continue to ask the same question hoping for a different answer.

No one said it would be easy. BUT WE ALL GO THROUGH IT. Most of us are going through it RIGHT now. You aren't alone.

But you need to stop the denial, and begin the healing.

Insanity (inˈsanitē) - Noun - Doing the same thing but expecting different results.

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Have I completely ruined my chances of getting my ex back? I need your input so bad!

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