FortunateSon Posted May 17, 2014 Posted May 17, 2014 (edited) This is a great thread, so many great things have been shared. A couple things I have learned: Do not rely on the other person for your own happiness. They can enhance it and certainly be a part of it, but they are not solely responsible for it. Avoid complacency. Be aware and find a way to keep things interesting. As others have said, healthy relationships take work from BOTH people involved to continue to grow and maintain a healthy dynamic. Attempt to address any issues before they become a festering mess. If your partner is unwilling to communicate and is consistently passive aggressive, it may be time to reevaluate the compatibility of your relationship. Do not base a relationship on potential or who they used to be, they may never be that person again. Without trust, respect, and communication you have NOTHING. Edited May 17, 2014 by FortunateSon 3
AnyaNova Posted May 17, 2014 Posted May 17, 2014 Probably more of an issue for us women but I really learned one thing. You cannot save or fix them! If you've got a wounded puppy on your hands, one of two things will happen-- 1) They will fix, save, heal themselves (often though, they won't realize that they did do it themselves, and will credit you, don't believe them! It really was all them). 2) They won't. 9 times out of 10, if they choose this option it will be without you. Repeat and hear this well (reminding myself more than anyone). It will be without you! Men have an inborn desire to make you happy. They will know that their choosing to remain stuck does not make you happy. They will leave to go find someone who is so unhealthy that they don't care, so they can make them happy. And your heart will be the one shattered on the floor. I guess the lesson for me was to only give myself and my heart to those who are healthy enough to be able to handle it safely. Tend, befriend, and help those wounded puppies. But don't trust them with your heart. No matter how much they think they are ready, they're really probably in most cases not. And you will be the one to suffer if they are not. 6
lovehurtsme91 Posted June 5, 2014 Posted June 5, 2014 1) Cheaters will always be cheaters. 2) To trust in God. 3) Never abandon your friends for your partner.
stillfiguringitallou Posted June 5, 2014 Posted June 5, 2014 1. Don't let fears of the past interrupt my future (this I am semi guilty of - yes I held back a little - but only after he "needed a break and we should be friend 3 times - but if I don't in the future - they can't use it for gas lighting - or to manipulate me - which he also did) 2. It takes two to hold a relationship together. If one isn't willing to do the work when it's easy - they aren't likely to when it's hard. 3. It's better to find someone who wants you and grows to rely on you. Than to be with someone who feels like they need you. Needs change often - wants change only after they are achieved. Someone who needs things you exhibit (kindness - unconditional support and love - etc) can always find someone else - someone who wants YOU because of those things is more willing to stick it out when you need them - and can't offer the same level in return. 4. Never settle for less than you deserve. 5. You deserve everything you're willing to give. 6. When your gut tells you you're about to walk into something not good. Then you walk away. Even if everything else is telling you it's fine. 1
dclan Posted June 5, 2014 Posted June 5, 2014 I learnt that... Life is a road.....and time will make you walk through it. What happens during your journey, is just....stuff that happens, good or bad. Btw Skylex, BU = Break Up 1
Js2493 Posted June 9, 2014 Posted June 9, 2014 Never let one person be your only source of happiness. You will lose yourself. You can give your all to someone and it still not be enough, but that doesn't mean that you are not good enough. Follow your heart but don't forget about your brain. 1
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