alwaysconfused2 Posted May 15, 2014 Posted May 15, 2014 I met this guy on OkCupid. We chatted online for about 4-5 days before meeting—it seemed like we had similar personalities and I thought he sounded like a good guy, responsible and attractive. We went out wine tasting for our first date (I had mention wine tasting in a nearby town with friends the previous weekend, and he said he preferred the ones around where we lived, I said I had never been, he said he could show me them, so I said that would be great (didn’t think it was going to be an actual invitation that soon) and then he asked when I was available. We went to 3 different wineries, and I thought it went really well! At the end he said he was hungry (it was almost dinner time—we had met at noon) and asked if I wanted to grab something to eat. I had a family commitment that night so I had to decline (he knew I had something to do that night already, so he knew I wasn’t blowing him off). After I got home I texted him and thanked him for showing me the wineries, told him I had a great time and said sorry I didn’t have time to grab dinner. He replied with “That’s okay next time :-)” I didn’t hear from him for the next two days. I was starting to worry that maybe I misread the signals and he wasn’t as into me as I thought. But then he texted me on the third day, saying that “Hope graduation is going well, I think it was today” (it was my graduation that day). I replied back to him and we texted the rest of the day (although my texts weren’t very prompt, since I was at graduation). Later that night as we were texting he told me that he had been visiting friends out of town, but just got back and was going to hang out/drink with some friends. A few texts later he asked “are you still doing family stuff?” I think this was him seeing if I was free. I told him I was still at dinner. I also mentioned how my bestfreind and I were having a few drinks at dinner, and planning to get drunk to celebrate once my family left. He said “well if you guys want to drink with other people, you could hang out with us.” I told him that I was in the car with my parents, but would talk to my friend once we were home. He and I kept texting about other things. Later I told him that neither of us could really drive, so I’d have to pass on hanging out that night. We continued to text throughout the night, which turned into kinda drunk texting. At one point he said (although not with as nice of grammar) that he hoped his drunk texts weren’t scaring me away. The next afternoon I initiated a text conversation with him (I was really bored in a 3 hour car drive with family). He took a while to reply most of the time but I sent quick replies (I was bored—and I did tell him that). Eventually the conversation didn’t seem to be going anywhere so I didn’t reply to his last message. The day after that we didn’t talk. I was going to wait for him to contact me, but I decided to go ahead and send him a “hey how’s it going” two days from when we last texted. At this point, it had been 6 days since we met in person, so I was getting anxious if there was gonna be a second date or not (and I knew that he normally has the next day off, so I figured I would start a conversation and see how things go). We texted and it turns out that he had to go in for part of the day and then take his car into the shop. This last text conversation was yesterday. Today when I logged online, I went to go look at his profile (I was curious to see when he last logged in-not that it mattered, I’m still chatting with a few people on the site too) and he deleted/disabled his account. I’m 90% sure that this could not be because of our relationship-we’ve only had one date. It’s crazy to think that’s why, right? Does this mean he is serious about someone else? It’s now been a week since our first date—if he was interested he would have asked for a second one by now, right? Or does his invitation to hang out on Saturday count, so I’m supposed to make the next move? On one hand, I feel like it was a slightly tipsy invite, on the other hand if he was okay with me meeting his friends, does that mean something? If it makes a difference, I’m 21 and he’s 26. I don’t have very much previous dating experience, so I’m still trying to figure out how the dating scene works. Do you think he will text me again/ask me out? Or should I forget about him because it sounds like he is with someone else? (if that’s the case, why didn’t he say something yesterday).
irresolute Posted May 15, 2014 Posted May 15, 2014 Hard to tell. If you initiated most of your conversations I'd say wait until he contacts you. If he hasn't invited you for a second date that's not a good sign, and you being always busy/bored when contacting him is not a good sign either because he might think you're not interested at all. I guess you should show more excitement/interest when chatting with him. I'd say he was interested in the beginning but you showed no interest so he backed up.
Author alwaysconfused2 Posted May 15, 2014 Author Posted May 15, 2014 I thought that when I did reply back to him, even though I was busy, that was showing interest (even though it was a busy day I was texting him back). And yesterday I wasn't busy or bored when I texted him.
irresolute Posted May 15, 2014 Posted May 15, 2014 then just wait for him to contact you. You don't know what is going on with this guy. Maybe he found someone else...who knows? I'd say what is done is done now just wait
Assasda Posted May 15, 2014 Posted May 15, 2014 SOunds like you found every excuse not to come out and drink with him. Then you stop texting him, after the convo "Was going no where" Why would he bother asking you to go any place. You should definitely call him and ask to go out some place, stop playing coy and overthinking
singhnatasha903 Posted May 16, 2014 Posted May 16, 2014 I agree with assada totally.yoire the one whose been saying no to him, just call/ text and ask if he'd like to get together for drinks or dinner. It's really that simple. He sounds totally into you- he remembered your graduation day girl! He's thinking about you and taking notice. Make a plan with him
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