zhaulk Posted May 14, 2014 Posted May 14, 2014 So I'm going to try to keep this short, but I just want some advice. Basically I was with a girl for 2 years, and we had a great relationships. We had some problems, the biggest problem being lack of communication. We also ended up taking each other for granted (which I think is pretty common..but not a good thing). Anyhow we got in a fight, probably our first real fight, and she broke up with me shortly after telling me that for the passed two months she just hadn't felt the same. Keep in mind, two days before she was telling someone how excited she was to marry me. Anywho, so that was 5 weeks ago. We kept in contact, because I'm stupid, and it just made me feel lousy obviously. She told me a few times that she would like to get back together one day, that we deserve a second chance, but at a different time said we were really bad for each other, for me to move on, and that we are never getting back together. She also recently told me that things hadn't been the same for the passed 5 months, rather than 2 months..the reason keeps changing. And lastly the big nail in the coffin, she showed up as a match for me on a dating website, and on her public profile she said "I was in love once, but lost it over time. I would like to find a love that is irreplaceable." There's more to the story..but in a nutshell she went from being absolutely crazy about me, even clingy, to never speaking to me. I've deleted her on facebook and torn up all of her love letters, and decided that someone who really is like this, is not someone I want to be with. But she's also been very rude to me, and I've taken the high road. I want to know if anyone thinks I'll ever get the chance to turn her down for reconciliation. And I need some suggestions for staying busy, it's really hard for me to not text her or contact her, even though I know it's like sticking my hand in an oven. I can honestly say I have no idea who she is. She's 21 and part of me thinks this could be GIGs. Any advice would be super appreciated.
mirage12 Posted May 14, 2014 Posted May 14, 2014 What's the point of turning her down if she asks you for reconciliation? If you think that'll give you some sense of satisfaction, it won't. Do your best to stop thinking about her, seems like she's made it pretty clear it's done. As for keeping yourself busy, all of the suggestions on this thread are pretty standard - go to the gym more, stay active, take up a new hobby, hang out more with friends/family, read more, travel. It'll get better with time. 2
saltyfishhead666 Posted May 14, 2014 Posted May 14, 2014 So I'm going to try to keep this short, but I just want some advice. Basically I was with a girl for 2 years, and we had a great relationships. We had some problems, the biggest problem being lack of communication. We also ended up taking each other for granted (which I think is pretty common..but not a good thing). Anyhow we got in a fight, probably our first real fight, and she broke up with me shortly after telling me that for the passed two months she just hadn't felt the same. Keep in mind, two days before she was telling someone how excited she was to marry me. Anywho, so that was 5 weeks ago. We kept in contact, because I'm stupid, and it just made me feel lousy obviously. She told me a few times that she would like to get back together one day, that we deserve a second chance, but at a different time said we were really bad for each other, for me to move on, and that we are never getting back together. She also recently told me that things hadn't been the same for the passed 5 months, rather than 2 months..the reason keeps changing. And lastly the big nail in the coffin, she showed up as a match for me on a dating website, and on her public profile she said "I was in love once, but lost it over time. I would like to find a love that is irreplaceable." There's more to the story..but in a nutshell she went from being absolutely crazy about me, even clingy, to never speaking to me. I've deleted her on facebook and torn up all of her love letters, and decided that someone who really is like this, is not someone I want to be with. But she's also been very rude to me, and I've taken the high road. I want to know if anyone thinks I'll ever get the chance to turn her down for reconciliation. And I need some suggestions for staying busy, it's really hard for me to not text her or contact her, even though I know it's like sticking my hand in an oven. I can honestly say I have no idea who she is. She's 21 and part of me thinks this could be GIGs. Any advice would be super appreciated. Why do you care if you'll ever get the change to turn her down for reconciliation! She broke up with you, she told you things didn't feel right anymore. End of. She ain't coming back so no you won't get the change and just because YOU are hurting because you feel rejected isn't a reason to do it to someone else. Go join a gym Start swimming Make new friends Go out with current friends Get a puppy Go walking/climbing Make you better, don't do it by being cruel. Urgh I can't believe people ask that anymore! 1
flitzanu Posted May 15, 2014 Posted May 15, 2014 So I'm going to try to keep this short, but I just want some advice. Basically I was with a girl for 2 years, and we had a great relationships. We had some problems, the biggest problem being lack of communication. We also ended up taking each other for granted (which I think is pretty common..but not a good thing). Anyhow we got in a fight, probably our first real fight, and she broke up with me shortly after telling me that for the passed two months she just hadn't felt the same. Keep in mind, two days before she was telling someone how excited she was to marry me. Anywho, so that was 5 weeks ago. We kept in contact, because I'm stupid, and it just made me feel lousy obviously. She told me a few times that she would like to get back together one day, that we deserve a second chance, but at a different time said we were really bad for each other, for me to move on, and that we are never getting back together. She also recently told me that things hadn't been the same for the passed 5 months, rather than 2 months..the reason keeps changing. And lastly the big nail in the coffin, she showed up as a match for me on a dating website, and on her public profile she said "I was in love once, but lost it over time. I would like to find a love that is irreplaceable." There's more to the story..but in a nutshell she went from being absolutely crazy about me, even clingy, to never speaking to me. I've deleted her on facebook and torn up all of her love letters, and decided that someone who really is like this, is not someone I want to be with. But she's also been very rude to me, and I've taken the high road. I want to know if anyone thinks I'll ever get the chance to turn her down for reconciliation. And I need some suggestions for staying busy, it's really hard for me to not text her or contact her, even though I know it's like sticking my hand in an oven. I can honestly say I have no idea who she is. She's 21 and part of me thinks this could be GIGs. Any advice would be super appreciated. stop looking for a reason, she just decided she didn't want to be with you anymore. people change their minds. every post on here is "they were crazy about me days before..." that's just how it happens. it sucks, and it hurts, and you get through it. cut her from your life, block her on all social media, don't speak to her. you'll wake up one day and realize you've stopped thinking about her and you won't care.
Author zhaulk Posted May 15, 2014 Author Posted May 15, 2014 I know it's selfish and cruel, it's just hard not to be bitter after she left me with four months left on a lease and no vehicle. She made promises to pay her half and help me out with transportation, she backed out on all of these. You all are right I just never knew she would do this to me. Her parents currently pay her bills while I don't have any to pay mine. Of course shortly after I spent $470 fixing her car shortly before we broke up. But I guess I've learned a lesson
Rig88 Posted May 15, 2014 Posted May 15, 2014 Sorry to hear about your situation , I can imagine that it's been pretty tough for you. After a nasty breakup , it's very difficult not to become bitter but don't let it consume your life. It's natural to want that 'revenge' of her realising what she had and you turning it down, but you can't spend your life waiting for that to happen , it's just wasted energy and sadly it may never happen. You need to let this one be , as hard as it is. This girl clearly doesn't know what she wants and by joining dating sites whilst you were together indicates that she has no respect for your relationship. The hardest part of a breakup , especially if you've been with someone a few years is just admitting 'it ran its course.' As humans it's like we feel the need to justify everything. Find a girl who respects you and your relationship and won't screw you over in the way that this girl did. Good luck.
saltyfishhead666 Posted May 15, 2014 Posted May 15, 2014 I know it's selfish and cruel, it's just hard not to be bitter after she left me with four months left on a lease and no vehicle. She made promises to pay her half and help me out with transportation, she backed out on all of these. You all are right I just never knew she would do this to me. Her parents currently pay her bills while I don't have any to pay mine. Of course shortly after I spent $470 fixing her car shortly before we broke up. But I guess I've learned a lesson I know you are bitter, I think that's fairly normal for a horrific break up. I was, many were. I recall wishing my ex wouldn't find someone else so he could be alone and miserable, I also remember smiling at the thought of pushing him off a cliff Ok here is what you do - If she is on the lease too - small claims court for both the fixing of her car and half the bills she owes. You should be awarded that fairly easily. Don't rely on her promises, she promised to help you with transport however she doesn't owe you this unless it's your car. Many people promise many things. They usually break that promise and it hurts like hell.
Author zhaulk Posted May 15, 2014 Author Posted May 15, 2014 Karma. Her car broke down. I got my old one fixed. . She came to get her cat today and was a relentless bitch. Hopefully I can continue doing good things and karma will straighten her out. Anyone believe in karma?
Author zhaulk Posted May 15, 2014 Author Posted May 15, 2014 It's really a roller coaster. 10 minutes ago I was talking about how I never want to talk to her again. And how I am better off. Now I just feel hurt again..though I maintain I'd rather never talk to her ever again. I hope she will at least grant me that.
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