MrGuy Posted May 14, 2014 Posted May 14, 2014 I am a very paranoid person. For a long time ever since my relationship with this girl I've been always thinking she was doing something wrong. And every time I'm always wrong I can never find any evidence of her cheating or lying to me. Until recently or so i thought, I noticed one day i peaked over when she had her phone out and i thought i saw one of my friends on her contact list, my friend has the same name of her brother but i thought i saw two of the same names. Later on I checked her phone... (yes i know bad move) and i check her contacts and texts and i saw nothing... for all i know she could've deleted it but i dont know... now before you start. Yes I have a huge problem i'm very paranoid and insecure about myself and i plan to seek help. But have i gotten to the point where i'm starting to see things or even hear things? I say hear things b/c i also thought i heard her skype someone, but she doesnt have any contacts on skype so that made me worry. Have i seriously gotten to the point where I'm starting to imagine things...? Or am i starting to finally see her be unfaithful. I know i'm not a good person to start b/c of what i did so i'm prepared for anything that people have to say to me
todreaminblue Posted May 14, 2014 Posted May 14, 2014 I dont think you are a bad person but i do feel you have some issues which are going to cause problems in any relationship you have.....you have no proof she is unfaithful so why torture yourself....you have to let it go or you are going to have problems....... whenever i have been "paranoid", previous boyfriends have told me i am paranoid, dotn be stupid....etc ec etc.........when they say this....i know they are cheating...they twist it back onto me and my heart sinks.........every time they have cheated....but...... before i even confront or challenge fidelity....its normally more than one thing or incident but a back log of incidents that come together..i always have proof which they deny.....until i look at them and say....are you going to try to make me think i am sick in the head just to get away with lying.....they look at me .....then they admit it.......i have not made a mistake or accused a guy of cheating when it wasnt actually happening i have been cheated on..i knwo th esigns and then i just wait...hand them th erope they hang themselves....a backlog that cant be denied....for long ...they still try.......i would never accuse or doubt someone unless it was as i said a backlog of concrete proof........i dont think you have one shred of proof enough to doubt her......have you had someone cheat on you in a previous relationship????/ you do need to talk it out with her and if she is an understanding gf, hopefully your calm and rational way of talking it out will save your relationship.....best wishes....deb
Author MrGuy Posted May 14, 2014 Author Posted May 14, 2014 Ive talked about it to her numerous times and she always denies that she does that. She always says that she doesnt lie or cheat that isnt who she is, she says. But when i told her that i thought i saw my friend on her phone she said I'm starting to see things now. And when I thought i heard her skype someone, she said I'm starting to hear things
d0nnivain Posted May 14, 2014 Posted May 14, 2014 You need to work on your self talk (that little voice in your head that is making you paranoid). You also need to learn to trust. If you don't your paranoia not any bad behavior on the part of the other person will kill your relationship. When you found no evidence you should have reminded yourself that shows she's loyal. If one of your friends contacts was in her phone, I'd take that as a positive -- she's bonding with your friends & they are becoming her friends thereby solidifying your relationship. I have contact info for most of my friends' husbands & long-term BFs. It's great for planning surprise parties & getting insight into gift giving.
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