emotionalMess Posted May 14, 2014 Posted May 14, 2014 (edited) We met, became great friends over a few months (via FB and skype) we never even kissed because she is guarded by her family and is never alone. I fell in love. I was in another relationship, she seemed to be in love too and started to get too needy and calling a lot. Out of respect of my relationship, I asked her to only contact 2-3 times a week. Went NC for a couple of weeks and she chased. I contacted her and she then says she has a new (rebound) bf and blocked me from FB and he knows everyting about me. Later Skype and would not answer txt or calls until hours or days later. I realized that I was madly in love and I missed my chance, I then chased hard. Did not beg but said I would change things and that I was in love. No dice. She wanted to stay friends but I refused. I asked to meet for 5 min of closure so I could say goodbye. I did, and gave her birthday gifts. I requested that she not contact me so I could heal - but she did a few times, re-opening the wound. I told her that she made her choice and it is not me so please respect no contact. I went NC for 3 weeks then I broke it with a lame excuse. I then wrote a letter days later about what our friendship meant to me and how I dont trust her as a close friend anymore for disclosing our relationship to the rebound, but I may accept her as a casual friend but to give me a month. She decided then and there that she did not want to continue any friendship. We chatted and I found she already broke up with the rebound and actually left it open ended. I said that it was good for her to take time for herself but if she needed a friend after her time to find herself, that I would be there. A week later, I see her adding male friends to her FB, I logged into skype and could see that she had a session. I could not handle it. I wrote her on FB that I decided that I did not want to be friends too. I gave her some friendly advice then I told her I would block her on FB, Skype and remove her from my phone. 55 days later, I broke contact again. I had a dream about her, next day I ran into her at a place where (10% chance) she maybe would be, I was in great shape and had new clothes on, she was a wreck with dirty work clothes but still beautiful to me. I noticed she had the shirt that I bought her for her birthday under her work clothes. We chatted for 5 min or less and I gave her a hug. I attemped to text her and no response. Called her, no response. I then unblocked FB and appoligized that I put her in a bad position because I was in another relationship and that I was not going to give up on people that I love as friends. She did not respond to 3 of my messages and blocked me on FB with no response. I have no idea what is going with her but I would never not respond like that. I think she hates me. I invaded her space. From what I read, when a woman says she needs time for herself, it means she is seeking others however now that I think about it, she just broke up or got rejected from the rebound so maybe she needed space. But 55 days? I am pretty sure it has been over in her mind for a long time and I was clinging for hope. Please advise, NC did not work for me and must move on right? Edited May 15, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Paragraphs
FredJones80 Posted May 14, 2014 Posted May 14, 2014 We met, became great friends over a few months (via FB and skype) we never even kissed because she is guarded by her family and is never alone. I fell in love. I was in another relationship, she seemed to be in love too and started to get too needy and calling a lot. Out of respect of my relationship, I asked her to only contact 2-3 times a week. Sorry, I gave up reading after this... Pluheazzzeee. 2
Strength in Healing Posted May 14, 2014 Posted May 14, 2014 You're asking if you must move on? What's left? She blocked you, won't speak to you. You can either move on or start sleeping in your car outside her place every night, stalking her and then getting arrested.
Zahara Posted May 14, 2014 Posted May 14, 2014 I fell in love. I was in another relationship, she seemed to be in love too and started to get too needy and calling a lot. Out of respect of my relationship, I asked her to only contact 2-3 times a week. I then unblocked FB and appoligized that I put her in a bad position because I was in another relationship and that I was not going to give up on people that I love as friends. Out of respect for your relationship, you requested less contact? How was having an emotional affair with another not already disrespect to your girlfriend/relationship? You don't give up on people that you love as friends? What about your girlfriend? She deserves someone that cheats and lies to her? You gave up on your love, faithfulness and loyalty to her. Where is your concern for her wellbeing in this story? And let's quit the nonsense "friendship". You are in love with her and you cannot stand it that she is NC with you. You want her back. End your relationship. NC with this other woman and take a break from all this drama you have inflicted on yourself. 1
stillfiguringitallou Posted May 14, 2014 Posted May 14, 2014 You treated her like a cheap piece of meat meant to make you happy And you are surprised she hates you? You remind me so much of my ex it's making the bile rise in my throat. At least he never cheated on me and wasn't currently in a simultaneous relationship. Let her go - let her go be happy - and own and work through your guilt and shame on your own. 1
Author emotionalMess Posted May 15, 2014 Author Posted May 15, 2014 Sorry, I gave up reading after this... Pluheazzzeee. You see, I am in a miserable long term relationship that I am working on getting out of by mutual choice of my partner. The girl I fell for knew I was in this relationship. I'm not innocent but have been unhappy for a long time.
Author emotionalMess Posted May 15, 2014 Author Posted May 15, 2014 You're asking if you must move on? What's left? She blocked you, won't speak to you. You can either move on or start sleeping in your car outside her place every night, stalking her and then getting arrested. Nope, no sleeping in the car, I am done with her. What I regret is that I did not play games like others do. For example if I would have played it cool when she told me she had a bf then she would have probably came back. But I'm not into games. I wear my heart on my sleeve and express my emotion. The right person would not have cared about my neediness. She did not love me and that is the bottom line. However, I know for a fact that if she did officially became my girlfriend that her parents would disown her because of cultural differences. That was the primary reason why no matter how much she did care, it was not going to happen. That's life. I did not mention the deep connection we had. Basically she could read my mind. She knew things and predicted things that happened to me on a given day before we even spoke. I know when she is sad she knows when I am, we have this spiritual connection. She once knew I was not in a safe place and she was right. We had a very strong friendship and I have been sad for months.
Author emotionalMess Posted May 15, 2014 Author Posted May 15, 2014 (edited) re-posting edited version. Who is behind that email? Thanks but, I dont really want to go down that path of getting her back until I am of clean mind, heart and hands. That means ending my current relationship, healing, and improving. Nope, no sleeping in the car, I am done with her. What I regret is that I did not play games like others do. For example if I would have played it cool when she told me she had a bf then she would have probably came back. But I'm not into games. I wear my heart on my sleeve and express my emotion. The right person would not have cared about my neediness. She did not love me and that is the bottom line. However, I know for a fact that if she did officially became my girlfriend that her parents would disown her because of cultural differences. That was the primary reason why no matter how much she did care, it was not going to happen. That's life. I did not mention the deep connection we had. Basically she could read my mind. She knew things and predicted things that happened to me on a given day before we even spoke. I know when she is sad she knows when I am, we have this spiritual connection. She once knew I was not in a safe place and she was right. We had a very strong friendship and I have been sad for months since she has been out of my life. Either she really does not care anymore or she is avoiding me because it would never work due to her parents. She is not willing to be out on the street and without her family. I can understand that and must take it and this whole mess and leave it in the past. Once my current relationship is over and final, I will take a lot of time for myself, improve, try to like myself and forgive anyone I have bitterness toward. Only after that will I be open to another love interest. Edited May 15, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
saltyfishhead666 Posted May 15, 2014 Posted May 15, 2014 We met, became great friends over a few months (via FB and skype) we never even kissed because she is guarded by her family and is never alone. I fell in love. I was in another relationship, she seemed to be in love too and started to get too needy and calling a lot. Out of respect of my relationship, I asked her to only contact 2-3 times a week. Went NC for a couple of weeks and she chased. I contacted her and she then says she has a new (rebound) bf and blocked me from FB and he knows everyting about me. Later Skype and would not answer txt or calls until hours or days later. I realized that I was madly in love and I missed my chance, I then chased hard. Did not beg but said I would change things and that I was in love. No dice. She wanted to stay friends but I refused. I asked to meet for 5 min of closure so I could say goodbye. I did, and gave her birthday gifts. I requested that she not contact me so I could heal - but she did a few times, re-opening the wound. I told her that she made her choice and it is not me so please respect no contact. I went NC for 3 weeks then I broke it with a lame excuse. I then wrote a letter days later about what our friendship meant to me and how I dont trust her as a close friend anymore for disclosing our relationship to the rebound, but I may accept her as a casual friend but to give me a month. She decided then and there that she did not want to continue any friendship. We chatted and I found she already broke up with the rebound and actually left it open ended. I said that it was good for her to take time for herself but if she needed a friend after her time to find herself, that I would be there. A week later, I see her adding male friends to her FB, I logged into skype and could see that she had a session. I could not handle it. I wrote her on FB that I decided that I did not want to be friends too. I gave her some friendly advice then I told her I would block her on FB, Skype and remove her from my phone. 55 days later, I broke contact again. I had a dream about her, next day I ran into her at a place where (10% chance) she maybe would be, I was in great shape and had new clothes on, she was a wreck with dirty work clothes but still beautiful to me. I noticed she had the shirt that I bought her for her birthday under her work clothes. We chatted for 5 min or less and I gave her a hug. I attemped to text her and no response. Called her, no response. I then unblocked FB and appoligized that I put her in a bad position because I was in another relationship and that I was not going to give up on people that I love as friends. She did not respond to 3 of my messages and blocked me on FB with no response. I have no idea what is going with her but I would never not respond like that. I think she hates me. I invaded her space. From what I read, when a woman says she needs time for herself, it means she is seeking others however now that I think about it, she just broke up or got rejected from the rebound so maybe she needed space. But 55 days? I am pretty sure it has been over in her mind for a long time and I was clinging for hope. Please advise, NC did not work for me and must move on right? NC did many things for you - clearly in the time you were NC you got a new relationship (I don't agree with this it was faaaaaaaar too soon however it can't be undone) What you need to understand is that she doesn't want you as a lover, as a friend. your actions aren't rational and you have NO reason to contact her anymore. No contact is to help yourself heal. You can't heal if you are unblocking her here and there, checking up on her, getting jealous. JUST STOP if you can't spot delete the profiles you use to spy (this is what I did) There is absolutely no other way for you to recover from this bar to face what is staring you in the face. To top that off you now have a girlfriend, is that fair to her? no. It's not fair that your head and heart should be with her and it's with another girl more so one who wants nothing to do with you.
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