katush94 Posted May 14, 2014 Posted May 14, 2014 Hello to all of you, I would like to tell you my story. If you were be able to give me some advice, I'd really appreciate that. it all started 9 months ago. Today actually it's been 9 months I've had a boyfriend. We met at work and yes...he's 32. For the first 6 months our relationship was really really nice. He really loved me and I loved him, we planned future together and we got over my parents or the fact we couldn't meet whenever we wanted to. But then I started to feel a bit uncomfortable, you know, my first relationship and so on, I felt he loved me much more than I loved him, that was a reason to many of our fights...and he was still patient with me, he told me I am the love of his life, that he had never felt so good with anyone else...but I still kept being like that. He has a friend (a girl) which wanted him for a long time. He always said 'no' to her, because he loved me and I was his girlfriend who he wanted to stay with till the end of his life. But after some time he already started to feel tired of my moods, when I either argued or didnt talk to him, therefore he started to fall for her, because at that time, when he needed to hear some nice words from me, they did not come, just because I was stupid and immature (but I loved him, I have no idea why I acted like that) but of course they came from her side. And when he was already desperate about my behaviour, he told me that I am not the only girl in the world and that maybe he would feel better with someone else. But please don't think he's a prick, he really tried so hard to help me and to make things alright, it was just my fault that I kept acting like that... so yea, that's when I read some of his messages on fb, where he talked with a person and told the person that he was not happy with me anymore and that he's thinking about breaking up with me and being with that another girl. Of course I told him and from that time on, he said something had broken inside of him and that he can't love me the way he did before. So it's been pretty ****** since then. One day he even told me that it would be better to break up with me, we both cried but decided on one more chance, to give ourselves some time to figure things out. Since then, we met several times and it was really great, we had great time shopping, having dinner, going for a walk or watching a movie together. He also told me that I am the most beautiful thing that had ever met him, that he had never felt so good with anybody else. But he still can't get back to that 'loving time'. He told me he feels something really deep for me, but after all I've done it's just...complicated. Either way, I really try so hard, I stopped arguing with him, I also started to ride the bike, because it's like the most important thing in his life, I am willing to get along well with his friends as I did not before...he appreciates it, but keeps telling me that when he wanted all that, I didn't do that, and that's why he still feels hurt and so on...so we're still taking the time to find out...do you think the time will help and make him love me again? Or will he finally accept all the things I want do to for him, like I did not do them before but now I do?
johnpatric Posted May 14, 2014 Posted May 14, 2014 Hmm I think you have still chance to get back with him, If you really still like him than I think you need to talk with him about this, or just talk with him as a friend and try to find out how he feels about you after doing that kind of stuff, if you feel that he still likes you and really interested in to be with you again then you should have to try once otherwise you know what you have to do.. I think for your satisfaction you just try to talk with him about this matter..
Author katush94 Posted May 14, 2014 Author Posted May 14, 2014 Hmm I think you have still chance to get back with him, If you really still like him than I think you need to talk with him about this, or just talk with him as a friend and try to find out how he feels about you after doing that kind of stuff, if you feel that he still likes you and really interested in to be with you again then you should have to try once otherwise you know what you have to do.. I think for your satisfaction you just try to talk with him about this matter.. Well ofc I tried, and he just feels hurt. He said that maybe the time will repair it but who knows.
Assasda Posted May 14, 2014 Posted May 14, 2014 When he backed off and started pursuing other women, instead of being totally interested in you, is when you start liking him. This should be a lesson for all the guys that put women on the pedestal. OP you should just let him go and move on, because I dont think it will work out with you 2. If he goes back to you, he may get lost again and go back to his ways, then you'll start ignoring him again. 1
Goldenbrwn Posted May 14, 2014 Posted May 14, 2014 Even if he did go back to feeling what he felt for you before it sounds like unless there was another girl around for him to go after and make you feel insecure you would just start liking him less again.
soccerrprp Posted May 14, 2014 Posted May 14, 2014 katuch94, I have to agree with some others here. Your interest for him greatly increased ONLY after you realized that you may lose him to another girl. I am troubled that once you two are together, after some time, you may fall back and again come to the conclusion that you may not like him as much as you seem to right now. I think there is a chance and I don't blame him for being cautious. I'm certain he is thinking the same thing that I and a couple of others are...you like him more ONLY b/c there's another girl in the picture. He doesn't believe, confidently, that you truly love/like him. Keep trying to show him otherwise, but don't be entirely shocked if he moves on.
Author katush94 Posted May 14, 2014 Author Posted May 14, 2014 katuch94, I have to agree with some others here. Your interest for him greatly increased ONLY after you realized that you may lose him to another girl. I am troubled that once you two are together, after some time, you may fall back and again come to the conclusion that you may not like him as much as you seem to right now. I think there is a chance and I don't blame him for being cautious. I'm certain he is thinking the same thing that I and a couple of others are...you like him more ONLY b/c there's another girl in the picture. He doesn't believe, confidently, that you truly love/like him. Keep trying to show him otherwise, but don't be entirely shocked if he moves on. And if I trully love him? Is there any chance he will come back to that state of mind he used to have? Or if we get together, it won't be as it used to be before...?
soccerrprp Posted May 14, 2014 Posted May 14, 2014 And if I trully love him? Is there any chance he will come back to that state of mind he used to have? Or if we get together, it won't be as it used to be before...? katush, Nothing for certain and there are SO MANY variables that come into play. You've already rejected his demonstrations of love in a sense and that can do a great deal of damage to anyone. I truly believe that healthy people SHOULD be cautious about someone who has already rejected them and then suddenly begins to show affections that were not reciprocated earlier. I, like your bf, would be asking, "why now?" Why weren't you this way when I was really trying? The issue here isn't IF YOU TRULY LOVE HIM, it's whether HE still loves you as much. You can do so much, but, as you know, it's up to him whether your demonstrations of "love" are worth his efforts.
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