Allyd12 Posted May 13, 2014 Posted May 13, 2014 (edited) To start off, I am 18 years of age and my ex-girlfriend is 17, turning 18 in 6 months. She is still in school finishing her last year, and I have finished my final year. I am not studying or working at the moment. On Sunday the 11th of may, she broke up with me and ended our 5 month relationship. I am a very sensitive guy, and she can handle her feelings a tiny bit better than me, so I took the break up really bad at the time and I've been feeling pretty bad ever since. Anyway, I know this girl means so so much to me, and I know for a fact how happy we can become if we get back together. So I want to get her back, but I just need some advice on how to do it correctly. Everything was so good at the start, we felt so in love with each other and we tried so hard to fix problems between us. But at the 3 month mark and so on, she started slowly losing feelings because our relationship wasn't that 'fun' and we didn't do much on the weekends other than watch movies together and cook food. Eventually it led to tiny argument's, her having conversations with about stuff, and her feelings started to die down. But they never completely left, yet. She ended it with me because her feelings weren't as strong as mine were, she felt like the relationship was getting boring and lacked exciting outings between us, and wanted to be single to have some freedom for the end of the year during her Schoolies time. She wanted a single life, and me at the same time. But I still have huge feelings for her, and she has feelings for me, but I don't want to let her go just yet. I want to fight for her so bad. She was so hesitant about letting me go and really didn't want to. She said she can't picture me with any other girl, wants me to stay in her life forever, never forget about her, and hopefully get back together way down the track after graduation. But I don't want to wait 7 months because 99% chance she will get over me and properly move on to someone else? How should I approach this and plan everything out? I want her back, and i'm willing to wait for it, but not too long. I know how happy we can be if things had a second chance. I need to know a way to make her want a relationship with me, and FORGET about wanting to be single for Schoolies and her 18th, and just fall back in love with me like the first 3 months of our relationship. Because it was pure bliss. I'm willing to change myself and the way I act to make things work ten times better again, while still being comfortable. I feel like she has made the wrong decision, because I KNOW she will start to miss me soon. But I'm also worried she will get over me soon if I don't act. She still has not deleted the countless photos of her and I off her facebook page, there is one photo on her profile of me in the shower and the caption is her confessing all her love for me, which was posted 2 weeks ago. Why hasn't she deleted them yet? I know for a fact she is the type of girl who would rid everything in her life of something she wasn't interested in anymore if it happened to end. We have made no contact in 4 days. She knows I am coping with the break up very bad right now, and she feels terrible for doing such a thing to me, because she never ever wanted to hurt me like this. She is coping alot better than me, but still is upset about it. I deleted her off Facebook and Snapchat to try cope better. I have some ideas though. As she is still following my instagram page, should I post a photo of myself showing that I am happy? Or should I stop post anything at all, to keep her thinking about me and wondering how I'm doing. I heard that a good idea to get your ex back is to make self improvement, show that you are happy and can accept it, and that will leave the ex intrigued about you and thinking. (*What is Schoolies?* - Where I live, Schoolies is referred to a one-week long tradition period where 30-50 thousand teenagers have just finished their high schooling. They all flock to the beach on the city coast, and spend a week with their friends letting loose and doing basically anything they want to celebrate. ALOT of alcohol is involved, drugs, and sexual contact/intercourse is very very common during the week, and even cases of rape and forced sexual assualt have happen hundreds of times.) Thank you so much for your help if you are reading this. Edited May 13, 2014 by Allyd12
luvshaq Posted May 14, 2014 Posted May 14, 2014 Perhaps you're confusing love with inflation or lust. How in love can you be in 5 months? Did you "love" her because she made you feel good? That's not love, that would be emotional dependency. Infatuation is more shallow than love. Infatuation is basically a mood, like a newlywed feeling. Moods change.
Author Allyd12 Posted May 14, 2014 Author Posted May 14, 2014 Perhaps you're confusing love with inflation or lust. How in love can you be in 5 months? Did you "love" her because she made you feel good? That's not love, that would be emotional dependency. Infatuation is more shallow than love. Infatuation is basically a mood, like a newlywed feeling. Moods change. I look back on everything we had, and when we were together. She gave me a feeling that makes my heart go wild, I just want her back man. She made me happy, but she also made me a different person. I couldn't look at anyone else the same and I still can't.
johnpatric Posted May 14, 2014 Posted May 14, 2014 Get your life back on track. So you've been in a relationship for some time, and maybe your girlfriend has just broken it off. Get the right attitude. Getting your ex-girlfriend back starts with finding the right attitude. Leave her alone. At least for a little while, give her some time to think about the relationship. Start talking to another girl. Don't do anything with her, but strike up a friendship. You want to raise your own stock by showing her that other girls like you and are attracted to you. Give her an apology. Whether you broke up with her, or she broke up with you, an apology is almost always in order. Slowly work up to friendship. Maybe some trust was broken in your relationship, and now it's time for you to start repairing it. Tell her you still have feelings for her. Once you've apologized and become her friend again, you can finally tell her you want her back.
d0nnivain Posted May 14, 2014 Posted May 14, 2014 Her feelings changed. You can't change them back. You should never fundamentally change yourself for another person. A few minor things, maybe but nothing radical. You have to be true to yourself. Because you are a sensative young man, this hurts. Unfortunately it's a pain everyone experiences -- the loss of young love. That doesn't mean you can or should work to get her back.
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