janedoe67 Posted May 15, 2014 Posted May 15, 2014 I am a Christian, but I have gone through some "phases" in my faith. I spent a lot of my younger and younger adult years doing the Baptist Pharisee dance - you know - everyone must have the same "convictions" as me or jesus obviously doesn't love them as much. Then life got really crappy and God didn't seem to want to help so I questioned a lot. Now I am comfortable with believing what I do, but I am not going to wig out because the whole world doesn't clone itself to my viewpoint. In fact, sometimes I cringe at the attitude my fellow "Christians" project. Jesus didn't go around bombing clinics, screaming at people that they were going to hell, protesting funerals, or telling scared pregnant 18 years olds that they were murderers. In fact, I kinda wonder what my "pious" friends will do when they realize that some of the people in Heaven have a "past". I could be close to someone who did not believe like me or did not believe anything...as long as they didn't take potshots or try to belittle me. Just like I wouldn't do that to them. 2
L1ght Posted May 15, 2014 Posted May 15, 2014 Maybe its just me but religion has never ever got in the way of my relationships. For starters dating is about physical attraction and proving to the opposite sex that you have at least a little bit of intelligence. Lol no woman has ever stopped me mid sentence and said "Hold on there buddy! If you don't believe in the lord Jesus Christ our savour then your soul needs saving!" Does it ever really get in the way? Physical attraction is physical attraction....it doesn't matter what people believe in as long as they are into each other.
Silly_Girl Posted May 15, 2014 Posted May 15, 2014 Maybe its just me but religion has never ever got in the way of my relationships. For starters dating is about physical attraction and proving to the opposite sex that you have at least a little bit of intelligence. Lol no woman has ever stopped me mid sentence and said "Hold on there buddy! If you don't believe in the lord Jesus Christ our savour then your soul needs saving!" Does it ever really get in the way? Physical attraction is physical attraction....it doesn't matter what people believe in as long as they are into each other. I think, of everything, lack of religious compatibility *should* be an issue. For some, it's the cornerstone of their world, and influences how they approach life. For others it's something that's so alien it may even be derided. If a couple is at the extremes and each feels passionate about their stance then it's not possible to make a pairing and that's absolutely right and correct, in my view. 2
FitChick Posted May 15, 2014 Posted May 15, 2014 As long as you don't try to convert someone or make fun of their beliefs and learn to be tolerant, it shouldn't be a problem.
Author whirl3daway Posted May 15, 2014 Author Posted May 15, 2014 or make fun of their beliefs and learn to be tolerant, it shouldn't be a problem. oh, yes. there lies an issue. oops.
FaithinIron Posted May 16, 2014 Posted May 16, 2014 Well as a black former athiest(i went back to being agnostic) its hard. Women will date a criminal that is christian over you.
Author whirl3daway Posted May 16, 2014 Author Posted May 16, 2014 Not for me. I never knew I lived in "bible belt central" here in NE Ohio until I joined online dating. I WISH I could find an atheist, or at minimum a woman with an open-minded thought process! 99% of the women around here seem to have some mention of religion or god, or needing a "religious man". Women that I have dated in the past, that I met in person....NEVER brought up religion ever! Not once during our entire relationship! So I dont understand why online it is such a huge deal? Majority of religious people do not practice on a daily basis. They simply go through the motions, going to church once in awhile, and on holidays. But if "I" bring up the topic....they put on an act, and proceed to make it out like religion is such a big important part of their life. Its total bullsh*t. time for you to move to Columbus. you'd like it a lot better here. 1
L1ght Posted May 16, 2014 Posted May 16, 2014 Not for me. I never knew I lived in "bible belt central" here in NE Ohio until I joined online dating. I WISH I could find an atheist, or at minimum a woman with an open-minded thought process! 99% of the women around here seem to have some mention of religion or god, or needing a "religious man". Women that I have dated in the past, that I met in person....NEVER brought up religion ever! Not once during our entire relationship! So I dont understand why online it is such a huge deal? Majority of religious people do not practice on a daily basis. They simply go through the motions, going to church once in awhile, and on holidays. But if "I" bring up the topic....they put on an act, and proceed to make it out like religion is such a big important part of their life. Its total bullsh*t. I think that's one of the biggest differences between the USA and the UK. The whole "bible belt USA" thing. Here in UK we don't have anything like that thank goodness. Many people in the UK couldn't give a crap about religion and from my experience the people who are religious don't let it effect their friendships and relationships with people like myself who are not religious at all. I'm not just talking about Christianity either...I have dated Muslim girls who never let religion get in the way of things. Maybe here in the UK people are more open minded? Just a thought. 2
hotpotato Posted May 16, 2014 Posted May 16, 2014 I remember reading that men are generally more tolerant of religious (as well as age, racial, etc) differences than women are. I also think they may say they are X denomination, but they are not practicing.
Quiet Storm Posted May 16, 2014 Posted May 16, 2014 I think that's one of the biggest differences between the USA and the UK. The whole "bible belt USA" thing. Here in UK we don't have anything like that thank goodness. Many people in the UK couldn't give a crap about religion and from my experience the people who are religious don't let it effect their friendships and relationships with people like myself who are not religious at all. I'm not just talking about Christianity either...I have dated Muslim girls who never let religion get in the way of things. Maybe here in the UK people are more open minded? Just a thought. Generally, the Northeast/ MidAtlantic /West is more open minded and tolerant than the south, in my experience. In those "bible belt" areas, church seems to be a way of life. It's not just Sunday mornings, there are activities throughout the entire week. If someone were to date an atheist, it would be the talk of the town. The whole church would be praying for them to see the light. I remember as a child I went to a "Church of God" service with my friend. It is a very evangelical brand of Christianity that is popular in the South, but has a few churches up here, as well. People were yelling, talking in "tongues", crying, collapsing on the floor. The preacher would call people up to the altar to "save" them by putting his hand on them while crying & praying. It was shocking for me, considering I had only been to Catholic church, and the most excitement we had was sitting/standing/kneeling. It seems so extreme to me, but the people that believe it seem to think it's completely normal behavior. It seems like these types of churches often make it their mission to spread the word, and truly feel that nonbelievers are going to hell. In their minds, they aren't judging, but genuinely trying to save us from the devil. It seems like they are more concentrated in the south, specifically the "Bible belt". But don't think all of us Americans are like that, please. I am an atheist and my community seems to accept me & my family. The majority of believers in my area are very tolerant. They don't try to push their beliefs on me, and I appreciate that. 1
janedoe67 Posted May 16, 2014 Posted May 16, 2014 Why is it when a man wants a size 2 woman it is a preference, but when a Christian wants to date another Christian it's "intolerance?" Just asking. If people can prefer an athletic person because they themselves are athletic or a tall person because they are tall, or a liberal thinking person because they are liberal, then what is wrong with someone wanting to be with a person who shares their faith? That confuses me. 1
Author whirl3daway Posted May 16, 2014 Author Posted May 16, 2014 Why is it when a man wants a size 2 woman it is a preference, but when a Christian wants to date another Christian it's "intolerance?" Just asking. If people can prefer an athletic person because they themselves are athletic or a tall person because they are tall, or a liberal thinking person because they are liberal, then what is wrong with someone wanting to be with a person who shares their faith? That confuses me. Where did this come from? O_o I think it's best if religious people do date other religious people. I imagine it's probably a huge issue for most people of faith.
Quiet Storm Posted May 16, 2014 Posted May 16, 2014 Why is it when a man wants a size 2 woman it is a preference, but when a Christian wants to date another Christian it's "intolerance?" Just asking. If people can prefer an athletic person because they themselves are athletic or a tall person because they are tall, or a liberal thinking person because they are liberal, then what is wrong with someone wanting to be with a person who shares their faith? That confuses me. I don't think it's intolerant to have preferences. I think its smart to look for someone compatible. Religion is certainly a factor if you plan to have kids. You can't have one parent saying "Granny went home to Heaven, and we'll get to see her again one day" and the other parent saying "No. Granny's gone, she died, but she'll live on in our memories". What I consider intolerant is when believers push their religion on me. It feels like they don't accept me as I am, and want to change me. So in dating, IMO it is not intolerant to want someone that shares your religion. But it is intolerant to pick someone who doesn't share your religion, and not accept that about them, and try to change them. Its OK if they naturally evolve on their own, though. 2
Fluttershy Posted May 16, 2014 Posted May 16, 2014 I have seen some pretty crazy people from both sides who belittle and mock those that believe different. Don't think those people would have a very good relationshipz as was said i think how much you believe would be more of thing. How important that belief is to your daily life. An easy example is if you are a christian that believes only being saved will get you to heaven then why would you commit to someone who you will worry about their soal everyday? Ofcourse with your beliefs you want your loves one togo to heaven too. Or if you are an atheist that feels religeon in any form is evil and should be eradicated... That would make for some really akward moments. Or even if you felt that as an atheist you are intellectually superior. Would you really want to be married to someone you feel is inferior to you? Case by case for sure. 2
Koopa Posted May 16, 2014 Posted May 16, 2014 I can tolerate a religious girl as long as she does not believe the earth is only 6,000 years old and takes the stories in the bible literally. I would have no problem raising a child to be christian because it instills good morals while also explaining that these are tales of caution and learning how to behave in a civilized society.
janedoe67 Posted May 16, 2014 Posted May 16, 2014 Where did this come from? O_o I think it's best if religious people do date other religious people. I imagine it's probably a huge issue for most people of faith. I did not get that vibe from you at all. Sorry for texting confusion. I live in the south, and while I do know a lot of people who claim Christianity, I know plenty of atheists as well. And Buddhists, and Jewish people, and a few pagans. Except for some rural pockets, I think the whole Bible belt thing has faded. 2
Quiet Storm Posted May 16, 2014 Posted May 16, 2014 I did not get that vibe from you at all. Sorry for texting confusion. I live in the south, and while I do know a lot of people who claim Christianity, I know plenty of atheists as well. And Buddhists, and Jewish people, and a few pagans. Except for some rural pockets, I think the whole Bible belt thing has faded. That's good. Hopefully, the more diverse it becomes, the more tolerant they will become. Kids will grow up with classmates and neighbors that believe differently. And see they are just normal people.
Giggle Posted May 17, 2014 Posted May 17, 2014 I live in the south, and while I do know a lot of people who claim Christianity, I know plenty of atheists as well. And Buddhists, and Jewish people, and a few pagans. Except for some rural pockets, I think the whole Bible belt thing has faded. It is alive and well in kentucky. The church across the road had revivals every month or so. The religious go a little nuts over keeping alcohol sales out of counties.
SolG Posted May 17, 2014 Posted May 17, 2014 My society is so secular I think there are probably more issues for those who are devout than atheists! I think that those who practice religion strictly are probably hard pressed to find understanding outside their own congregations and extensions thereof. I don't think I even know anyone I would consider devout. I'm baptised Catholic, but consider myself agnostic. My xH is an atheist, and we married in a Catholic Church for my mother (who thinks of herself as Catholic, but doesn't really practice). The Irish Catholic priest--God bless him--didn't miss a beat when xH announced he was an atheist. His response, 'Well, we won't be needing a full nuptial mass then will we'. :-D
janedoe67 Posted May 17, 2014 Posted May 17, 2014 Yeah I don't get the alcohol thing. There's no verse in the bible that says thou shalt not drink. And my home state has such a crap education budget, it ticks me off every time churches rally and block the lottery. When I was younger it was vital to me not only that someone be a christian but that they share ALL the convictions I had. Now that I've lived in a real world and figured a few things out, I honestly think a jaded view of religion coupled with actual compassion can make someone a better partner than the judgemental, tattling piety I see in some "Christians."
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