John manning Posted May 13, 2014 Posted May 13, 2014 So no need to go into a huge amount of detail ill keep it short. Had a wonderful relationship for 8 months We started to argue a little bit 6-7 months in but nothing huge. In the last month she became unsure of wether she wanted this relationship, we both have a lot of things going on (her more than me, shes dealing with ill relatives on top of exams) We decided to have a break (aka break up) for a while. A week after we broke up I went round hers and it led to us sleeping together. A week later she came round and we spoke a lot , she said she still loved me, still cared a lot but getting back together wasn't right at the moment. SO, now your up-to-date in short. Anyway onto the subject at hand, I miss her a lot and I want her back more than anything. After our exams are over I was planning something, to show her I still wanted to be with her. The plan was to get her friends to pretend to arrange something so she would get dressed up, and then turn up at her house with flowers and a cab ready to take her to this restaurant she mentioned was her favorite and then tell her how much she meant to me. If a guy was to do this to you how would that make you feel? What would you find more romantic?
alwayswithlight Posted May 13, 2014 Posted May 13, 2014 Sounds like she is going through a really rough time right now. I think the romantic gesture will be appreciated, but only if done right. Sometimes going big can make the other person feel pressured and that's not what you want to do. Be clear if you do this nice evening for her that it is about you showing your love, not about you needing to hear from her how she feels. Tell her straight away that you wanted to do this for her because you care about her, but you understand that she may not be in a place for a relationship yet and that she should just know that you are ready when she is. Good Luck!
flight E Posted May 13, 2014 Posted May 13, 2014 Strictly stay clear of grand gestures after breakups they are always counterproductive. If they ever produce results, it's usually shortlived. I would just keep being myself if I were you and if you were not treating her right, try to do so anytime she comes your way. Don't go chasing her, but please stay clear of grand gestures
Author John manning Posted May 13, 2014 Author Posted May 13, 2014 Thanks for the advice, I had thought about what go wrong but i Hadn't thought of that. It is to show her I care, I thought that she knew exactly how i felt and that I wanted to get back with her but she seemed to think that I didnt want to. I'm also not entirely sure when to do it , I don't want to leave it late and miss my chance, I also don't want to jump into this too quickly I need to be 100% certain this is what I want
Smarty Pants Posted May 14, 2014 Posted May 14, 2014 Grand romantic gestures work in the movies. After you have broken up, they can come across as needy/creepy. Don't make the same mistakes that others have made on here. Tell her that you're interested in working things out, and if she says no, walk away. The best negotiating tool is the ability to walk away and MEAN IT. Be strong, confident, willing to walk away if you don't get what you want. That is way more attractive than any romantic gesture you will make. If she doesn't recognize how you're acting, another girl will. Good luck.
luvshaq Posted May 14, 2014 Posted May 14, 2014 "I miss her a lot and I want her back more than anything." Careful, that sounds like a dependency. Best to move on.
jbelle6 Posted May 14, 2014 Posted May 14, 2014 I had a guy do this EXACT thing to me. I was expecting a fun night with my girls and I ended up on a date I felt obligated to go on. It was very awkward and unpleasant for us both. I don't recommend it.
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