lovehope75 Posted May 13, 2014 Posted May 13, 2014 why is it easier to cut ties with someone over the internet that you have been communicating with for over a year than it would be if you had met them in real life.why are people able to detach themselves so easily as opposed to real life even if they have spoken about very deep things online and over the phone for a long time and built a connection.Is it because the person is not really a person to the other person until the two people actually meet is that the psychology behind it?would appreciate peoples opinions on it
BlueIris Posted May 13, 2014 Posted May 13, 2014 I think its because so many people view themselves and others as commodities in OLD. There are exceptions of course, but a large number aren’t looking to find someone to exchange love and make a life with. They’re just impulse shopping. If you flip pages from a porn site, car manufacturer, Pottery Barn or Etsy to the OLD site, the brain isn’t going to differentiate.
HappyLove Posted May 13, 2014 Posted May 13, 2014 OLDing is not what's cold it's people who are cold. People can pretend to be anything they want to be online. I could tell you I'm an astronaut and you'd believe it as long as I was somewhat convincing. So people pretend to be invested in things they are not. Even dating has gotten very cold because of how online is. People treat others online like they are at Wendy's takeout and they can order up their preference. Rarely do they take into account they are dealing with human beings who hurt and have feelings. It's no biggie to just drop someone and disappear online, just go after the next seemingly best thing. People lack basic morals just move on to the next or better thing for you. It's a shame but it happens. Some people are selfish. This is why you must protect your heart and make sure it is real before getting too attached. A year and never meeting! You could be talking to anybody pretending to be anyone. 1
Dallers Posted May 13, 2014 Posted May 13, 2014 I am in the same boat. I am online dating and every now and then a nice one comes along, but are they? You might think they are but through text you do not know anything about them. It is sad really because I am actually looking for someone and I get a lot of interest but being messed about is starting to make me cold. I miss the dating 10 years ago. 1
soccerrprp Posted May 13, 2014 Posted May 13, 2014 why is it easier to cut ties with someone over the internet that you have been communicating with for over a year than it would be if you had met them in real life.why are people able to detach themselves so easily as opposed to real life even if they have spoken about very deep things online and over the phone for a long time and built a connection.Is it because the person is not really a person to the other person until the two people actually meet is that the psychology behind it?would appreciate peoples opinions on it Yes, it's easier to break ties with someone you've been communicating with online/email. That is a virtual relationship, not real, not tangible and not healthy in the long term. YOU DO NOT have the same, complete emotional attachment you'd have if you were dating IN PERSON. It's a lot less real until you see, hear, meet, feel, smell, each other. As per OLD, I have yet to meet a "cold" woman from it.
Potz4prez Posted May 13, 2014 Posted May 13, 2014 Haha... people can be just as cold in real life. This type of behavior happens even with people you're been dating in person (or hell, even long-time friends), especially if they're outside your social circle. It's the easiest way out.
HeartbrokenNewbie Posted May 13, 2014 Posted May 13, 2014 Because we dont have a 'block' button in real life x
d0nnivain Posted May 13, 2014 Posted May 13, 2014 I do think that people you have only "met" on the internet through OLD or otherwise are not as real as the people you look in the eye routinely even If you have spoken to them on the phone. It's easier to avoid somebody who can't physically camp out on your front door.
BlueIris Posted May 13, 2014 Posted May 13, 2014 I am in the same boat. I am online dating and every now and then a nice one comes along, but are they? You might think they are but through text you do not know anything about them. It is sad really because I am actually looking for someone and I get a lot of interest but being messed about is starting to make me cold. I miss the dating 10 years ago. Oh, geeze, I do too. I also miss people wanting to be in a couple and to build a life together, which both men and women wanted and didn't see as desperate or weak or pathetic. It was considered normal to want to be partnered. The pretense and posturing and fear of "being seen as" something or another is flat out bizarre to me. And I hear you on texting, too. I've met so many men, in their 50's even, who think that texting is communicating and connecting, when it conveys to me minimal effort and they don't care about hearing my voice or seeing my smile or understanding me at all. Pfft. And yes I did walk to school in the snow five miles every day and I'll climb back into my ole lady rocking chair- haha. 1
giblesp Posted May 13, 2014 Posted May 13, 2014 why is it easier to cut ties with someone over the internet that you have been communicating with for over a year than it would be if you had met them in real life.why are people able to detach themselves so easily as opposed to real life even if they have spoken about very deep things online and over the phone for a long time and built a connection.Is it because the person is not really a person to the other person until the two people actually meet is that the psychology behind it?would appreciate peoples opinions on it Because the internet can be an unreal place full or neurosis. Get out and meet people the way humans where meant to meet,
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