Fuzzy Chickens Posted February 8, 2005 Posted February 8, 2005 Try to be as logical as possible. Teach your kids to think as logically as possible. Don't ever say "because it's right/wrong" or "because I said so". Don't oversimplify, don't sugarcoat, don't exaggerate. Don't make knee-jerk emotional reactions. Be forgiving of first-time mistakes and remember that a child's mind is a fuzzy, inefficient place. Your kids are 2,000 times more likely to do what you want them to if they know that your judgement is sound. Trust is a more effective tool than any punishment. My stepfather was irrational, psychotic, and incapable of admitting when he was wrong, and NOTHING that he tried to do to me (including the physical abuse) would change my behavior, because I knew that he was wrong and I was right, and I refused to let him "win." My mom was almost as irrational, but because she wasn't psychotic and she admitted her mistakes, I was always much more cooperative with her. Also, if you can't maintain a logical argument with your offspring, admit that they might be right. And don't EVER clean their room without them. That's the equivalent of rape and the surest way to get them to never clean up their first apartment/house/dorm/whatever. You don't want them to associate a clean room with having their privacy violated.
alphamale Posted February 8, 2005 Posted February 8, 2005 Originally posted by Fuzzy Chickens Try to be as logical as possible. Teach your kids to think as logically as possible. Don't ever say "because it's right/wrong" or "because I said so". Don't oversimplify, don't sugarcoat, don't exaggerate. Don't make knee-jerk emotional reactions. Be forgiving of first-time mistakes and remember that a child's mind is a fuzzy, inefficient place. Yes FUZZYCHICKEN, intelligence and objective logic conquers most if not all.
Author Fuzzy Chickens Posted February 10, 2005 Author Posted February 10, 2005 We'd all certainly like to think so...
Nubianangel Posted March 3, 2005 Posted March 3, 2005 Great post! I agree with most except for the last: And don't EVER clean their room without them. That's the equivalent of rape and the surest way to get them to never clean up their first apartment/house/dorm/whatever. You don't want them to associate a clean room with having their privacy violated. Up until recently, I cleaned my 8 yr. olds room without him. I worried that he would always expect someone to do this for him as he got older or he wouldn't know the first thing about cleaning up after himself. I've now implimented cleaning rules and at the top of the list is for him to clean his room before bedtime. He does a superb job and now insists on his playmates helping him clean his room before they go. My mom cleaned my bedroom until I was 11 yrs old and never once did I associate a clean room with having my privacy violated. It felt nice to come home from school to a freshly cleaned bedroom. I associated a cleaned bedroom with order, organization and maternal love.
moimeme Posted March 4, 2005 Posted March 4, 2005 intelligence and objective logic conquers most if not all. Oh no it doesn't. Logic can't conquer the illogical. Read through some of the political forum and you'll soon be cured of that belief Fuzzy, I agree with you - great post! It only makes sense that once people learn the good reasons for doing or not doing something, they might follow it. It works with kids for a while, anyway. But then you grow up and have situations like the one elsewhere on LS where someone asks for advice on using drugs, knowing that it can be dangerous. There's not thing one logical in that but do the best you can and hope your kids manage to pick up what you hope to teach them.
RecordProducer Posted April 1, 2005 Posted April 1, 2005 Fuzzy, thanks for sharing this with us. I will actually try your method (I love it!) and will let you know ina few weeks or months how successful it was for me. I have two 6-year olds at home. Regarding the room, they would like me to ruin their privacy every day by cleaning their room!
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