LapoElkann Posted May 13, 2014 Posted May 13, 2014 Without going on to long. here is my story I was with my gf then wife for 10 years. Last year she left and our divorce was finalized a few weeks ago. The night we signed the final papers we had sex and acted like a couple. I knew and she knew that it was very unhealthy. The following week she come over to my house and we fooled around again. Finally last Friday night we had sex again and she slept over. We finally spoke about it last night and she said that it was best if we stop and wanted to know if we could be friends. The longest we have gone in the past year with not talking was 5 days. She entered into a serious relationship but ended it last month. I realize now that I was a rebound to her rebound. I decided last night that I cannot be friends with someone who I still love and still want to be with (as crazy as that sounds). We decided that we would try to ``separate`` then maybe one day become friends. It hurts like hell and I can’t stop thinking of her and the past few weeks. I feel sad and also used I don’t feel relived at all. Thank you for reading.
ja123 Posted May 16, 2014 Posted May 16, 2014 I am very sorry for your pain. It must feel extremely confusing for you, as it must have rekindled some hope of reconciliation. You haven't given many details as to why you divorced, but your post indicates that it wasn't your choice. It's assumed there aren't any children. Actually signing the papers is a huge emotional leap ... it's going to take some time to sink in. You were probably not the rebound to her rebound, though. I bet she was feeling sad to say goodbye and wanted to revisit her marriage one last time. Breaking-up/divorce sure is sad, and it hurts like hell. You are not alone in feeling this kind of pain, but this kind of pain is so personal and intense that it often feels very lonely ... and it is, but time will bring healing ... trust in that. It's a process though, and there will be good days and some bad ones. I think you are right in acknowledging that you cannot be friends right now, at least until enough time has passed and you've healed. That could take a while ... maybe a few years even. You need to express that to her and stick to it. You're on your own now, and you must really take care of yourself and your needs first. Going "no contact" (NC) would be the best route to recovery. Keep active, reach out to friends and family, and hang in there!
Recommended Posts