Started great, moved too fast now wants to be friends

[Vtorres]

Here's my situation,

I met this girl a little over a month ago. We exchanged numbers and immediately clicked from our first conversation over the phone. We would talk for hrs late into the night. We got together about 2 times a week for about a month. During that month our feelings towards each other grew off the charts and we both seemed to be at the same level, expressing our feelings towards each other. I decided to make it official after a month and she happily agreed. Have to mention there has been no sex involved.

 

This is where everything started turning for the worse. A week after making it official with the bf/gf title she came over my place for the first time. Her coming over did something and did not turn out well. I read her body language and realized something was wrong as she left. The next morning she sent me a long text in the morning talking about how "last night started great but did not end so well". She said we're moving too fast and the title is just pressuring us to do stuff we or she is not ready for so we backed out from the title. I decided to give ourselves the weekend away from each other and we did not contact each other the whole weekend with the exception of me telling her Happy Mothers Day.

 

She text me Monday morning saying "I don't know if you're avoiding me but right off the bat I think we should continue with our own lives and hopefully be good friends, Its just bad timing, Im not ready for a serious relationship at the moment" I replied by asking if she can talk for 10 min that i'd rather talk than text about what's going on and she agreed. We talked for about 5 min and she had mixed feelings so she wanted to seriously talk at night when we have more time. After talking at night for a while we ended up agreeing to being friends. She kept saying "I have such a great time when im with you and I do not want to lose contact with you and would like to continue doing stuff". She also kept saying "lets see what happens, you never know". I did mention that I had talked to a couple of female friends and it bothered her. I asked if she wanted to get together for lunch this week and she said yes.

 

Im confused and dont know how to approach this... Should I accept beeing her friend even though its going to be awkward because I really like her or should I just cut it off and move on? I really like her and dont want to mess things up further if there still might be a chance of making this work. I feel like something may come from us being friends and hanging out occasionally as friends, taking things slow and just continue getting to know each other and like she says, "see what happens, you never know". Any and all advice would be highly appreciated and thanks for taking the time to read this.

 

-Victor

[ayala]

She kept saying "I have such a great time when im with you and I do not want to lose contact with you and would like to continue doing stuff". She also kept saying "lets see what happens, you never know". I did mention that I had talked to a couple of female friends and it bothered her. I asked if she wanted to get together for lunch this week and she said yes.

 

Usually people will say this to give false hope but aren't actually interested anymore but still want to keep you around to ease their guilt. I'm not saying this is your case, but it's common. Just want to keep you aware of this and not let your guard down.

 

Talking to other women bothers her. Either she wants your full attention but wants no commitment to you or she really does want to be with you but she's not ready for a relationship as she says and wants you to stay open for her.

 

You can wait if you think she's genuine with her feelings for you or you can move on if nothing changes within the next few months.

 

If she starts dating, you can too.

You can start dating first, for that matter. Stay aware of how she responds. She might start to date again too to make you jealous.

Date only to get to know another girl that you're interested in. Not to make someone jealous. It's childish.

 

If you two stay friends, don't act like a couple together as you are no longer a couple. You can still hang out as friends but keep barriers between you two and don't violate that. Otherwise it'll be selfish and lacking in self respect.

 

Just some thoughts. I don't personally know the situation so tread carefully.

[luvshaq]

You two didn't know each other as well as you thought. You said you clicked since your first phone call. How well can you get to know someone in that first phone call? Since the infatuation happened so quickly, it didn't take root and wore off just as quickly.

[Vtorres]

Thanks Ayala. Like you mentioned, she might be giving me false hope so am moving forward cautiously and with my guards up. I do have to mention that I just turned 30, she's 22 and we both kids. She is easily influenced and lets things other people tell her get to her. We have had no contact since the last conversation I mentioned in my post, Was wondering if I should continue with no contact and wait for her to contact me and whether I should even see her tomorrow for lunch like we planned?

[d0nnivain]

If you want more you can't be just her friend. It will tear you up inside.