Dundas Posted May 13, 2014 Posted May 13, 2014 This site really helped me through my breakup last year, so I thought I'd just share why breaking NC really IS a bad idea! My girlfriend of 2.5 years broke up with me last April. Basically, she no longer felt the same (thanks for the heads up?!) so brokeup with me and immediately started dating her brother's friend. The worst part about it was that I had been hanging out with both her and her now boyfriend for weeks before we'd broken up. I could tell he might of had a thing for her but I trusted her - turned out they had been talking and hanging out with her brother behind my back for a couple weeks before she finally let me go. Cold!! That really hurt - of course there was breakup drama for a few weeks, but it made it 10x worse when it became his business too! Still pisses me off. Oh, and the best part? WE WORKED TOGETHER! She had talked me into working at her job just one month before she dumped me. We still work at the same job but no longer together (I'll get to that in a minute). Basically, with my job, I can work at several different places in a short distance from my house. So, there was a lot of breakup drama, hurt feelings, mean things said - and I'm lucky my job was not affected. Oh, and did I forget to mention that I worked with her father too?! I really wish I had just quit that job right then and there and moved on. I really do. It didn't take me long to stop trying to win her back. After a month or two, I decided I would never go back to that - I was too hurt and just wanted to move on and be happy with someone else (thought I found that in another person later on, but I'm still waiting...) So, after about 3 months, we started being friends again. I would stay over an hour or two usually after my shift and we would have long talks just to keep in touch. And it wasn't bad, I'm glad we could get along and still be friends, at least once a week. I hardly ever contacted her outside of work, that was only once in a blue moon. So, I constantly did her favors like loaning 5-10 dollars here and there (still waiting for that back..) and took her shifts so she could make plans with her boyfriend. Then, about 3 months ago, she didn't show up for a shift (I had agreed to take half the shift for her as she had plans with her boyfriend, and if she didn't end up coming, I just wanted her to text and let me know). She didn't show up at all, and didn't let me know. So, I sent her one little text and made a rude comment about her boyfriend because I was angry. A couple days later, she called me and she said she knows I was just angry and didn't mean anything by it, but her boyfriend had gone through her phone and seen it. Then, her boyfriend and 2 of his friends that I didn't know got on facebook and called me out for it. "Come and get me", "F*** you." I was mostly just angry that he would get his friends into it instead of just being mature and talking to me about it. So, long story short, I got pissed off and was arguing back and forth with them - and ALL my leftover feelings came out again and me and my ex got in a HUGE argument mostly over text messages. It was like we were breaking up all over again!! Within two days, her father got angry and said a bunch of things, including that he would try to get me fired. He ended up calling my boss and tried to write me up for things that weren't my fault (bosses sort of took my side, however) and I have a feeling that my ex, out of spite, spilled the beans about everything I'd ever opened up to her about. That same day, I finally talked to her boyfriend on the phone so we could both say our side of the story, and so that I could finally call him out on all the mean things they'd done to me, and I let it go! So, within two days, I quit working there and haven't spoken to her since in 3 1/2 months (Except for one fifteen minute phone call a month later where I basically just explained the situation from my point of view and told her I was moving on with my life). Moral of the story: Even if you have been moving on and you and your ex are good friends - IF you still have feelings for him/her, they will ALWAYS come out sooner or later and bring you straight back to square one! That, and chances are, if they no longer care they may just be using you (Even if they don't see it like that). I almost felt like I was having to get through our break up all over again, even though it was 10 months later! I'll always care about her somewhat, but there's been too much damage on both ends! I just want to move on with my life completely and have absolutely no plans of keeping in touch. If we cross paths years and years from now, I'm not sure, but for now, I have a lot of regrets. Does anyone else have any bad situations post breakup? I'm just trying to give an example to someone who may be hurting and trying to keep in touch. 2
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