jackson123 Posted May 13, 2014 Posted May 13, 2014 Hello! So here's the situation. We all went to the same high school and I met them thru mutual friends. My friend (Bob) has been going out with her (Cindy) since second semester of junior year in high school. I have been friends with them since high school but we aren't close or anything. We probably see each other at events or parties, or sometimes HS friends get togethers. Cindy broke up with him last year around Thanksgiving 2013 so they had been going out for quite some time. We are all currently in our 2nd year of college. I never had any romantic thoughts or whatever of Cindy because i only viewed her as any other friend of mine. I only see Bob sometimes through our mutual friends. When we see each other at parties or events we just greet each other and talk a little bit, He's not like a close friend where we hangout or anything, just one of those friends that are around at times. So anyways, a few of months ago, Cindy and I started talking(regular convos about upcoming events, parties and such), I had no intention of seeing her more than just a friend in the beginning, I had NO feelings for her whatsoever and so did she since we were at the same parties many times. We didn't go any further than a small convo at parties and we go our separate ways. So it all started at this massive rave in NY that we both attended, she was with her group of friends and i was with mine. She approached me and started grinding up on me lol. Afterwards we started to talk even more. I didnt ask her on dates or anything cause i didn't have feelings for her. Then a month ago we both attended another rave event which changed everything, we basically danced all night and made out. I started to develop feelings for her. I gave it a shot and went on a date with her, first date we were holding hands and kissing already. At this point i know she is really into me and i am into her too. But i have doubts if should go any further since she is one of my friend's EX. What do you guys think? If this was one of my best friend or even a close friend, i would NEVER date their EX. (BROS BEFORE HOES) strongly applies if that was the situation. Bob is just a friend that is going to be around due to mutual friends. Should I go any further with Cindy or abandon now before it's too late? Cliffs: -Friend with Bob and Cindy since highschool -Cindy broke up with Bob after 3-4 years. -Broke up last year Thanksgiving 2013 -Bob is not a close friend. Just a friend that is around due to mutual friends -We both obviously know we like each other -Should i go any further?
saltyfishhead666 Posted May 13, 2014 Posted May 13, 2014 Hello! So here's the situation. We all went to the same high school and I met them thru mutual friends. My friend (Bob) has been going out with her (Cindy) since second semester of junior year in high school. I have been friends with them since high school but we aren't close or anything. We probably see each other at events or parties, or sometimes HS friends get togethers. Cindy broke up with him last year around Thanksgiving 2013 so they had been going out for quite some time. We are all currently in our 2nd year of college. I never had any romantic thoughts or whatever of Cindy because i only viewed her as any other friend of mine. I only see Bob sometimes through our mutual friends. When we see each other at parties or events we just greet each other and talk a little bit, He's not like a close friend where we hangout or anything, just one of those friends that are around at times. So anyways, a few of months ago, Cindy and I started talking(regular convos about upcoming events, parties and such), I had no intention of seeing her more than just a friend in the beginning, I had NO feelings for her whatsoever and so did she since we were at the same parties many times. We didn't go any further than a small convo at parties and we go our separate ways. So it all started at this massive rave in NY that we both attended, she was with her group of friends and i was with mine. She approached me and started grinding up on me lol. Afterwards we started to talk even more. I didnt ask her on dates or anything cause i didn't have feelings for her. Then a month ago we both attended another rave event which changed everything, we basically danced all night and made out. I started to develop feelings for her. I gave it a shot and went on a date with her, first date we were holding hands and kissing already. At this point i know she is really into me and i am into her too. But i have doubts if should go any further since she is one of my friend's EX. What do you guys think? If this was one of my best friend or even a close friend, i would NEVER date their EX. (BROS BEFORE HOES) strongly applies if that was the situation. Bob is just a friend that is going to be around due to mutual friends. Should I go any further with Cindy or abandon now before it's too late? Cliffs: -Friend with Bob and Cindy since highschool -Cindy broke up with Bob after 3-4 years. -Broke up last year Thanksgiving 2013 -Bob is not a close friend. Just a friend that is around due to mutual friends -We both obviously know we like each other -Should i go any further? I thought it was some kind of man rule not to date a friends ex? If you consider him a friend although not a best friend I personally wouldn't. It sounds like drama! Then again if I find out the guy I like is friends or has mutual friends with an ex I won't date them. Too much trouble in my eyes
halfcrazed_i Posted May 13, 2014 Posted May 13, 2014 I say go for it... But yeah, you guys will be the subject of the grapevine for a while. If you're okay with that, then you have nothing to worry about. Is the girl completely over the Bob guy though? Do they still hang out together?
Author jackson123 Posted May 13, 2014 Author Posted May 13, 2014 I say go for it... But yeah, you guys will be the subject of the grapevine for a while. If you're okay with that, then you have nothing to worry about. Is the girl completely over the Bob guy though? Do they still hang out together? Yea, I am sure she's completely over with him. She's the one that broke up with him in the first place. But I think still have feelings for her. Even though Bob and I aren't close friends, i do have some kinda close friends that hangs out with him a lot. I think I should wait it off and slow down and see what happens what brings us in the future. Any 'guys' opinion?
soccerrprp Posted May 13, 2014 Posted May 13, 2014 Yea, I am sure she's completely over with him. She's the one that broke up with him in the first place. Believe me when I say that this does not necessarily mean that she is over him. Not in the least. But I think still have feelings for her. This will certainly be a problem for you. Drama ahead! Be especially careful as he may not respect boundaries. He may not give a crap whether she's dating someone else or not and continue to contact her. If this happens and she begins to hide communication between her and him, you need to bail. Just be prepared for drama.
Salvatore85 Posted May 13, 2014 Posted May 13, 2014 If Bob wasn't really your friend it wouldn't be bothering you to a point where you ask a message board. A friend of mine dated my ex of 5 years 3 weeks after we broke up and then claimed the exact same thing you are, we weren't really friends. It's amazing what potential vagina can do to a guy lol.
Author jackson123 Posted May 13, 2014 Author Posted May 13, 2014 Oh man I spoke to some of my close friends and they just told me to forget Bob and just go for it... Seems like it's best to bail out of this before we go any further down the road. I just started developing feelings for her so this will be hard... We talk daily, so should I just stop talking to her? I should not lead her on, but what is the best apporach to this?
TheKook Posted May 13, 2014 Posted May 13, 2014 I ended up getting with my best friend's EX after he threw our friendship away. Basically, he broke up with her and then like a week later when we were all at the same party, she sucked me off in front of him. I thought she was kidding at first but when I realized she was serious, I started remarking upon how wrong it was but I made a mistake and let my crossfade get to me. After about 20 seconds I came to my senses and forced her off of me. The ensuing weeks were full of drama revolving around my best friend and her. Eventually, he told me that I could either be his friend or hers. Of course, even before that, me and her were always great friends so I didn't want to slam the door on her face. Plus, I wasn't going to let him make me choose who I can be friends with. That was the end of our friendship and, not caring about respecting the bro code anymore, I got with her and so far things are really nice. Basically, just be ready for plenty of drama if you go through with it. I'm kind of in the same situation. But I'll tell you one thing... Friendship is worth more in the long run. Sometimes I miss my friend.
Tayla Posted May 14, 2014 Posted May 14, 2014 With over 3 million people your age, choose someone else. Odds are, this infatuation isn't built on solid foundation.
Salvatore85 Posted May 14, 2014 Posted May 14, 2014 I ended up getting with my best friend's EX after he threw our friendship away. Basically, he broke up with her and then like a week later when we were all at the same party, she sucked me off in front of him. I thought she was kidding at first but when I realized she was serious, I started remarking upon how wrong it was but I made a mistake and let my crossfade get to me. After about 20 seconds I came to my senses and forced her off of me. The ensuing weeks were full of drama revolving around my best friend and her. Eventually, he told me that I could either be his friend or hers. Of course, even before that, me and her were always great friends so I didn't want to slam the door on her face. Plus, I wasn't going to let him make me choose who I can be friends with. That was the end of our friendship and, not caring about respecting the bro code anymore, I got with her and so far things are really nice. Basically, just be ready for plenty of drama if you go through with it. I'm kind of in the same situation. But I'll tell you one thing... Friendship is worth more in the long run. Sometimes I miss my friend. Things are "really nice" with a chick that sucked you off in front of her ex? Dead serious?
Author jackson123 Posted July 8, 2014 Author Posted July 8, 2014 Believe me when I say that this does not necessarily mean that she is over him. Not in the least. This will certainly be a problem for you. Drama ahead! Be especially careful as he may not respect boundaries. He may not give a crap whether she's dating someone else or not and continue to contact her. If this happens and she begins to hide communication between her and him, you need to bail. Just be prepared for drama. oh man... all of you guys are right. I should've seen this coming 2 nights ago, i went to an event with a group of friends and she was with us. Her ex was there and basically that night she ditched me with her ex. These couple months has been a long ride with her. Got me developing a lot of feelings for her. Sometimes things are too good to be true. She texted me the following night when she ditch me with her ex. but i just ignored her I just feel like i need a last talk with her before we close the book and go no contact or i shouldn't even bother replying or hitting her up since she know damn well what she did wrong and go full no contact? I am not that depressed since it was only a short term thing. I am just angry that she literally used me as a rebound and played me. i know i could move on, but it will take some time to get through this. I'm glad that i found her true side earlier than later.....
Author jackson123 Posted July 9, 2014 Author Posted July 9, 2014 Can someone give me advice on how I should move on at this point?
HappyLove Posted July 9, 2014 Posted July 9, 2014 Just move on OP. If someone played you like that then just break up with her and find someone who will appreciate you.
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