Kitty278 Posted May 13, 2014 Posted May 13, 2014 Hello everyone, I feel i need to share my story, as right now i find myself the lowest i ve ever felt. My ex boyfriend and me, we were together for about a bit more then a year. Things started off really well, and i found myself very much in love with the guy. I should mention there was a hefty age gap, i am about 15 years younger. The relationship had its ups and downs, but from where i stand nothing out of the extraordinary. Already when in the relationship, he mentioned his emotional issues, that is emotional and well as intimacy issues, high amounts of work-related stress and big projects in his private life. About 10 months in, he expressed his doubts about the relationship for the first time, saying that he was not in love with me and that he was missing something. We continued on nonetheless and the same confrontation happened about 2 months after that and 2 months after that. The last time we had this discussion, i tried to give him some space, a this was also what he asked for. We saw each other about 2x a week and i still had hopes that we would find back together. 3 days ago we reconciled one again, and he said his feelings hadnt changed - he prefers to have me as a friend in his life rather than a girlfriend. I took my conlusion and i need to generate distance from him, in order not to torture myself anymore. So for me, the official break up was just this weekend, whereas any normal person would have prepared himself already a good 6 months ago. Bottom line is, i cannot feel myself anymore, this is the emptiest i think i have ever felt. I know that eventually, as time passes, things will get back to normal, and i will be over him. Rationally i understand there is no way we will ever get back together, although deep down inside i am still hopeful.. I just dont know how to move on, i cannot stop crying about both - the situation and my stupidity. Emotionally, i cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel just yet... I would hope somebody can share their experiences with me, especially how to cope in the first week or two...thanks everybody.
SpiritualAlchemy Posted May 13, 2014 Posted May 13, 2014 Hey, im sorry this happened to you. It's fresh so this is where you are at your most emotionally crazy and vulnerable. Take a look at this: Breakup Recovery Guide, it has a good section there about what to do/what not to do straight after a break up. Go to NC, and post here when you're feeling low.
SpiritualAlchemy Posted May 13, 2014 Posted May 13, 2014 The emptiness is normal. Try to eat, you need your strength, your sleeping patterns may be screwed up, I went on sleeping pills for rwo weeks. You may not feel like being around people, but right now is when you need the people who love you around you. Unconditional love, you're going to need a lot of that, so hang with friends and family. Start keeping a journal, it's good to have a way to vent and process your feelings, or use your thread here. The first two weeks or so are the hardest....imho...cry lots, wallow but not for too long, physical exercise, good food. Don't contact him, whatever you do!
Author Kitty278 Posted May 13, 2014 Author Posted May 13, 2014 The emptiness is normal. Try to eat, you need your strength, your sleeping patterns may be screwed up, I went on sleeping pills for rwo weeks. You may not feel like being around people, but right now is when you need the people who love you around you. Unconditional love, you're going to need a lot of that, so hang with friends and family. Start keeping a journal, it's good to have a way to vent and process your feelings, or use your thread here. The first two weeks or so are the hardest....imho...cry lots, wallow but not for too long, physical exercise, good food. Don't contact him, whatever you do! Thanks so much for the kind words and understanding. Luckily enough, my network is not the biggest, but those couple friends i do have are absolutely great and understanding. I just wished the time would pass faster and that i could be the master of my feelings. I will probably pick myself up this week again and go and work out again, i just dont have the stregth yet. Once again, thanks for the kind words, it is a real comfort to know that people are listening...
Author Kitty278 Posted May 14, 2014 Author Posted May 14, 2014 I am missing him just so much...it is really difficult to not contact him. I just want to call him and tell him how much I am suffering and what he has done to me. The emptiness and loneliness is killing me. I dont know what to do and how to move on, everything just hurts right now... I will try my hardest not to give in, but everything seems so hopeless...
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