trieordiehard Posted May 13, 2014 Posted May 13, 2014 (edited) Hey, So I've been dating this girl for around 5 months and everything has been good so far. We have spent a lot of time together (I know a bit too much since things are getting repetitive). <- This is not good. She had planned a summer vacation trip with her parents around the time we met so she will out of the picture for 2 weeks. This might actually be a good thing since we both get our own time, but at the same time I would have liked to finally get a trip together to go somewhere and spark things up. Now we are repeating the same patterns, we both go to our gyms, come home, make food, watch some tv, go to movies every once in a while and that's about it. At this point its really starting to result in me getting bored. I got my work and my hobbies and I am going to start putting more effort in to them now and get more time on my own. During this time she has introduced me to her mom and one of her friends. It's like we are lacking activity and its driving me nuts. Any suggestions would be appreciated. Oh and she mentioned how she was waiting for the fall and how we could take our vacation together at that point. And I wasn't showing excitement so she got a bit upset. And I explained this is going to be 6 months from now, and I am the type of person who tries to live in the moment. I just cant bare the idea that things are getting so boring already lol. Edited May 13, 2014 by trieordiehard
BlueIris Posted May 13, 2014 Posted May 13, 2014 (edited) Suggest new things and activities you can do together. All relationships, even with friends, can get boring if you always do the same thing over and over. So think of new things to do and invite her to do them. A spark is never enough. You have to build and tend to a fire. Edited May 13, 2014 by BlueIris
Grumpybutfun Posted May 13, 2014 Posted May 13, 2014 As I tell my kids, if something is boring you, it is because you are boring. Other people aren't there for your entertainment....work on figuring out what is holding you back from being exciting. I could watch paint dry with my wife and it would still be a great day, gauge your need and levels for drama too. The fact that you think your relationship is boring suggests you are used to drama from family or friends or past relationships. Taking a trip will only heighten things until you get home. Figure out what you are really searching for, and see if subconsciously you are trying to sabotage this relationship for some internal reason. Good luck, Grumps 4
Frank2thepoint Posted May 13, 2014 Posted May 13, 2014 I got my work and my hobbies and I am going to start putting more effort in to them now and get more time on my own. During this time she has introduced me to her mom and one of her friends. It's like we are lacking activity and its driving me nuts. Any suggestions would be appreciated. There are plenty of romantic adventures you two could do, such as going to a waterpark, wine tasting, food tasting, go to the zoo, volunteer together, go apple picking, cook a dish together, go skydiving, and the list goes on. But since you are focused on withdrawing to just your hobbies, you are displaying the classic signs of checking out of the relationship without trying. Did you expect it was going to be an easy ride, with minimal effort, and magic happening on it's own? 2
acrosstheuniverse Posted May 13, 2014 Posted May 13, 2014 I honestly think that when you're getting 'bored' this early on, it's the person you're getting bored with not the activities. Like Grumpybutfun said, when you're into somebody, ANY activity is really enjoyable. I have only been seeing my boyfriend for around four months, but we both remarked the other day that just going to the supermarket together feels amazing because we get to be there with one another, still enjoying each other's company, deciding what to make for dinner, talking about what we're gonna get or our days or anything at all... I've been bedridden sick the past four/five days and every spare moment he hasn't been at work, he's been with me taking care of me, and he said of his own accord he's still had a wonderful time because he's been around me. Not trying to be smug there because anything could happen around the corner and I have had my fair share of surprise dumpings, but just saying... if you've lost the spark this soon, it ain't coming back. Don't you get super excited to see her and hold her against you even if all you're doing is watching TV together that night? It's like best friendships, we went to a cabin in the woods last year for four days straight together and didn't speak to another soul, sure we did a few activities but the majority of the time was spent just lazing on the sofas talking with each other like we've been doing for the past 10-15 years. But it never, ever gets boring, because the spark hasn't died.
Zahara Posted May 13, 2014 Posted May 13, 2014 OP, you sound like my ex. Great during the honeymoon phase -- planning ahead but when things started transitioning into a routine, he mentioned the same thing you did -- he lives in the moment, can't plan ahead, gets bored in a relationship, etc. His biggest issues were commitment. His issue was me. Echoing Grumps, who nailed it -- maybe there is something else going on with you. Along with Grumps, I'd be content watching paint dry with someone I love. It's going to be routine and mundane at times or most times, the relationship progresses and you both start to get comfortable with one another. There are so many things you can do besides the movies. Picnic, hiking, short weekend road trip, wine tasting, do a DIY project together, go dancing, etc. Maybe include her in your hobbies.
bu2002 Posted May 14, 2014 Posted May 14, 2014 Do you guys have other friends or family in town you can hang out with as a couple? I think the issue is balance and variety. Spend time with each other doing different things Spend time with other couples doing things Have enough "ME" time
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